Well court hearing is over and SD13 is going to BM... YAHOOOOOOO
Well we were in court from 11:30 am until 4:30 pm. It's over. I was not charged with child abuse with children and youth. Due to dear SD13 having a break down, almost passing out. She didn't want to go on the stand in front of everyone due to the fact she was lying about me hitting her. She must of thought we wouldn't make her go on the stand but SD13 made her bed let her lie in it. She wants to play around with peoples lives she'll have to face what she did. I know it wasn't funny seeing her having a nervouse break down. But I had to laugh to myself. I was thinking how does it fell to have to face your own lie. Maybe she will think twice before messing with me ever again. one would hope. But I won't keep my hopes up.
Before going into court we informed our lawyer that we didn't want SD13 back. Due to the fact we did not want to be put threw this again in the future. Draw up the papers and DH will sign custody over to BM. So after the hearing that is what happen. She is still in foster care until her mother gets here to get SD13 to take her back to AZ to live. Which will be on 4/9/09.
I'm so glad she isn't coming back, but She will act out as soon as she gets their telling stories to get her mothers attention. I See BM sending letters and spouting off. That's all she will do. She is scared of me and won't push me too far.
But I am worried about SD12, she has such a loving heart. I can see it in her eyes when she talks about SD13. She will miss her sister allot. They haven't been apart much. BM doesn't care about SD12. Never has and never will. She never asked about SD12 the whole time this was going on. She called SD13 in foster care everyday. Now mind you the Skids both go to the same school SD13 would rub it in SD12 face about talking to BM. SD12 would come home hurt. But this is the way BM is she doesn't care she is heartless. She always favored SD13 over SD12. I told SD12, I will never turn my back on her. SD12 asked me a couple years ago to adopt her. I think it is time too. All I can do is be here for SD12 and try to ease the pain.
Well the next couple of days should be fun, until BM is out of PA. Trying to keep my distance from town and from the local stores. If I run into BM, I will hurt her bad. I've had enough of her over the past 9 years. with no child support and her dismissing the Skids like they never where born. If she would have stayed in the Skids life, like a BM should. SD13 would not be messed up in the head like she is. But you can't go back in time so I will let it go.
But I will say I told DH if SD13 ever calls and wants to come back after what she did to me. the answer is no. Unless he moves out and gets his own place. I will never let that child back in my life as long as I live. I told DH if he wants to see SD13 he can fly down their and stay, he can write her and send her stuff on the holidays. But I won't be a part of it.
I AM FREE>>>>
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I am so glad
that everything worked out the way it did. Too many people get in trouble over false allegations.
"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards
What a relief
I know I sound like a broken record, but she is symptomatic of BPD. If you have any residual issues with her, or if SD 12 is having problems from this, I would recommend picking up the Stop walking on Eggshells book (there's a new one more targeted for families.)
Hopefully all of them will leave all of you and SD 12 alone. But that won't lessen SD 12's pain from all the rejection.
Many hugs to all of you.
"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life." ~Geoffrey F. Abert
I went throug pretty much
I went through pretty much the same thing last summer, only mine was ss 7 and bm enables him. I have been around him 2 times since then at mil's during family get togethers only for mil's sake. And both times bm has been a pain in the a** to either sd's or dh. I could care less to ever have to see or deal with ss, to me he will not change and he is a threat to our families well being. He would be one of those children that kill there parent or me. I don't trust him and I don't want him in our home ever again. He is so self centered and bm keeps egging it on, she wants the crap she can deal with it and his bratty a**. It is taking dh time to truly open his eyes and see how exactly ss is and it breaks dh's heart but I truly think he is getting tired of being treated so shitty by ss.
I believe that sometimes it is better to step back and say I love you but I cannot be around you if you continue to treat me this way, come find me when you decide I deserve the respect that I deserve.
Hopefully your home will be more peaceful and you and your dh can focus on the important things, especially on sd12, she sounds like she needs all the love and support she can get.
Stop making people a priority in your life that only make you an option in theirs! author unknown
Scary, but very true
The year hubby and I were married, I was put on bedrest while pregnant because of crazy BM. From 19 weeks, I was trying to go into labor due to stress. She had her little girls lie and say that I beat them with belt buckles (I couln't even spank my own kids while on bedrest) and drug child services to question me at my own home, in front of my friend and my own kids!! Aggggrr....
I understand what you are going through! It's too bad, I can't get sympathy from hubby or get him to understand the anger and distrust I have for her kids now.
And I wouldn't doubt she tells her kids to hurt my children or our new baby while we slept! It makes me nervous during the every other weekends because I can't trust them at all. I want to, but it's hard. How do I know they won't lie again and risk my kids custody??
Happy to read your post girl!
I'm so glad that this girl is out of your hair. I would feel absolutely no sympathy for that child breaking down on the stand. Now she knows what it is like for her consequences to have actions. I would never let that kid step one foot in to your house after all the awful things that she did to you and your DH. 13 is old enough to know EXACTLY what they are doing. I don't buy that crap from society that they are just "kids". The kids nowadays know and do a lot more than any of us when we were younger. I'm glad that you can know BREATH. BM is also a rotten POS for the way that she is treating SD12 but I'm happy that you two have such a good relationship. Take care!