Is it BM or SS?
K, I have a question and would like some opinions/answers, but first I'll give a littl background on the situation.
BF was with BM up until SS was 6 mos., they split and she kept him from seeing his son for the next 6 mos. Went to court, he got parenting time and was able to see him again when SS was 1. Now, I have been with BF since SS was 1, he is now 2.5. SS has been around me just as much as BF. I have changed him, read to him, fed him, clothed him, held him when he's upset, etc. I'd say about 70% of the time he's with us he shuns me, for lack of a better word. He doesn't want to sit by me, play with me, won't let me feed him or do anything. And he'll look at me like I'm the most evil person in the world and say "no caya" then swat at my arm (which gets him a timeout), he does this when I tell him not to do something (understandable, he's 2), if i'm pushing the cart at the grocery store, or if i'm sitting to close to BF or if I'm sitting in BFs rocking chair (his"rock rock"). SS does not do any of these things to BF and listens to him when he tells him to do something and BF is always quick to tell SS that this is not acceptable behavior.
Now, when BF isn't around it's a different story. When it's just me and ss he's very sweet to me and lets me do all these things with him, and if there's someone he doesn't know around he will stay pretty close to me, so I know that he's comfortable with me. It kind of stings a little when he acts the other way.
So my question, is it just SS being a 2 yr old or is it something else, like BM talking bad about me to SS? How young is too young for this kind of stuff to start?
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I think it's BM.
I don't think a 2-year-old has the ability to come up with things like that to say on their own.
Have you heard of Parental Alienation Syndrome? If not, please google it and print out a lot of information.
If SS is very sweet to you when BF is not around, then I think he does like you, but is acting out on what he is told by BM when BF is around.
On this website, http://www.rgardner.com/, you can find books for children that can help them work through the PAS that is practiced by their other parent and a lot of other helpful PAS information. Also, and your BF should check with SS's pediatrician before doing this, maybe SS should get counseling. It would be good to check with the pediatrician because they can know if SS is old enough for counseling and can recommend good counselors.
Unfortunately, some parents begin badmouthing the other parent to the child once the child is old enough to understand what they are saying and can repeat those messages. It is sick and twisted. However, if the children receive the proper parenting and psychological help right from the get-go in dealing with this, they can overcome it.
My BS2 does the same kind of stuff to me
I think it's kind of a things of "dad's around now, i've had enough time with you, GO AWAY!" and kids get tired of us just like we get tired of them sometimes. Thankfully i'm going back to work after being a stay at home mom for almost 3 years! I think it's just an age thing. Just my opinion.
"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege"
Well...I have a similar
Well...I have a similar situation with my ss and he lives with us and does not even visit his biomom. I started dating my husband when he was only 3 and he's 15 now! I am really the only mom he has ever had. When my husbands not around, he's fine(for the most part, he is a teen-lol). I almost feel like he's jealous for having to share dad with me and his bro. It sounds like it may be the same for you. There is a lot of psych in it.
I don't doubt bm may be opinionated in front of him. My parents divorced. When my dad started dating again, my mom was relentless. Just know that if you care about him genuinely, despite what anyone says about you, he will FEEL you care. His loyalty will be with his bm, so he may not defend you, but he won't fuel the fire.