Longest day of all
I got up this morning in anticipation of getting ready for my interview.
First thing that happened was I found the dogs water bowl in the living room, on the floor, with pee in it! Yes, H's dog lifted his leg and peed in their water dish. How do I know H's dog did it? Because Max squats to pee-yep, my big tough man dog Max squats to pee. He was neutered young, and never was around any boy dogs, so guess he just never figured it out.
So, the next thing I did was go to let the dogs out-they have to be on a chain when I put them out, as we do not have a fence. So, H's dog slips the collar-and goes running off.
In the meantime, the hospital calls. They think my mother is possibly paranoid, they want to send her off to a psychiatric hospital for evaluation. Guess she accused a nurse of taking (as in swallowing) her meds. Guess she's on the buzzer constantly. Well, my Mom has always been mistrusting, and pretty demanding. So I think it's an exaggeration of her usual personality that being in the hospital for 3 weeks and it's getting to her. So call my sis, discuss it, decide no, if they send her to a psychic hospital, we'll never have her home again. Call Dad. the hospital called me in the first place because they had a hard time communicating with him. Well, he has a hard time talking, especially when he's upset, from the stroke. Also, he can't hear over the phone at all. So he's crying. go over there, try to assure him all is ok.
Dog comes home. I get ready and go to the interview.
think it went ok, but got a good look at myself in the mirror and could see STRESSED OUT WOMAN written all over my face. I hope they didn't notice.
Up to the hospital to see Mom, bring home some of her things. She's mad. Her stomach hurts. The nurse says she gave her her pill last nite, but Mom just knows she didn't (even tho she had be given ambien to help her sleep). Mom claims she will not take Meals on Wheels. I insist she does-if I get a job, how's she going to eat lunch? Told her she cannot live on cereal everyday. I went up to the nurses station to get a list of vitamins, any over the counter meds I needed to pick up. The nurse looks at me with STRESSED OUT WOMAN written all over my face, and says "You do have to live your own life too, you know". Then she says they have been trying to take good care of Mom-hope I don't think she's getting substandard care. And they have taken good care of her. Everytime I've been up to visit (daily) there's someone in her room, leaving her room, or coming into her room. They are not ignoring her as she seems to think.
To to Walmart. Buy moms over the counter Meds, the junk food she wants at home.
Go to Mom and Dads. Unload the groceries. Talk to Dad about Lifeline. Call lifeline. Have it all set up. Yup. Then they ask-automatic withdrawal or credit card. Dad says NO! So no lifeline.
Call the speciality clinic and get appointment for Mom with the orthopediac surgen.
Call Mom tell her she has the appointment. Now she is saying No One's SAid ANything to HER ABOUT HOME HEALTH CARE. Yes they have Mom. It was discussed at the care meeting last week. You were there. You just didn't like the woman who does the paperwork, and don't want to have to go to the effort to sign all the necessary paperwork.
Take Moms laundry to Mom and Dad's house. Start her laundry. Come home to get something out to cook for Dad's supper. Open the door-both dogs run away.
Got the dogs gathered up. Go to talk to Dad about Mom. Dad is cryng. Tell Dad not to cry. Because if he does, I'll cry too and never ever stop.
Too tired to cook-go get Dad & me a hamburger.
Come home. H is on the phone. He feels guilty because we're not giving everything to his d's. He thinks that's why SD17 doesn't like me. Because before we married, he let her have his other bank card. She could buy anything she wanted. And now that has stopped. So. tell H that's why she's spoiled. H continues to defend the way he chose to live. Why am I uptight about the garnishment? He can make the money to pay it back. Yeah, right. Like he filed his first weeks unemployment a week ago. Then the bank garnished the next check. Yet he's still defending his "don't worry be happy, spend some more attitude." AAARRRRGGGHHHH
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Comments
My goodness Bewitched
In spite of everything you're dealing with he's still whining about poor Princess MeMe?? The dude needs beat with a clue bat. I hope he's helping you at home and not adding to your work.
When will you hear about the job? You are one up on me. I haven't received one single call for an interview. I'm starting to take it personally!
Hang in there it will get
Hang in there it will get better. It may take a little time but it will happen.
Sasha-I know. Unbelievable isn't it?
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
As part of the spending reduction (meaning me now-while we're still married, being in total control of the finances-now that the money is gone, the IRS is coming after him), text messaging was taken off of SD17's cell phone. Next step is shutting off one of the girls phones, and they will have to share one.
But-on top of all the other stuff-this poor SD17 having to go without texting was the point of H's call. Poor, poor SD17. Going to loose her texting. She didn't do anything to deserve that.
Yeah. Like I deserve to have to walk thru his F'n garnishment-his house being up for tax sale. OMG-I can just suffer away, but lets not take SD17's texting away from the precious, beautiful, wonderful delightful, all deserving SD17!
The blood continues to boil. Think I am coming close to a heart attack.
Bewitched
Ommmmmmmm. Ommmmmmmmmmm. Ommmmmmmmmm.
Honey you need to take some deep breaths and meditate a minute. Your plate is beyond full. Worry about your parents and forget DHs whining. Hell he is lucky that HE and SD even have cell phones. I would be tempted to send their asses back to Bedrock. They would be calling off of a conch shell and a string if I had been placed in your position. Don't back me into a corner cause I'm guaging out some eyes. So, DH can STFU and so can SD. It would not faze me one bit with that nonsense they are talking. If she wants to text he can buy her a smokestack and a rug and let her ass send smoke signals to her friends. Geesh. Like her life is going to end because she can't text. If she wants to keep texting make her get an odd job somewhere and pay for it herself. I can't believe that he had the nerve to try and explain or defend that. I would be tempted to play pinata with his head and a billy club.
P.S. Sorry for the violence. Stupidity causes me to lose my mind.
Just because one opens her legs twice, does not a mother make! ~ ME ~ }:-P
Too funny
Okay P, that was just way too funny!
Conch shells. Bwahahahahaha!
I had planned to have the locks changed and tell him to get
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
If I got the job, which I will know by Wednesday.
But to be honest, I will just have to wait. I have my hands full-one disabled parent at home, one disabled parent in the hospital, being brought home tomorrow. I don't know how I'll manage.
If I get the job, what are they going to do? I do have home health lined up to come, but they don't stay all day. Mom can hardly walk (she's 76, now with two broken legs), Dad certainly can't help her-(he'll be 80 in July, stroke victim) they won't be able to get meals or anything. And I'm the only family here. And my worthless sister who lives an hour away has been here only 1 day in the three weeks this has been going on to help. And has made it clear that she "will not be available to help with Mom and Dad." She's the wealthy one. Since she married her rich second husband, it's all about his family, and none about hers. My other sis, the one who shares the load, lives 4 hrs away and works full time.
I gotta admit I'm scared to death.
Home health
All home health agencies have social workers. Request one to come and see what additional help you can get for your parents. The nurse doing the initial intake assessment should also order a home health aide to come in at least twice a week to help your mom bathe. Meals on wheels would be ideal, and I know your parents are against it but at least it helps. They do charge for it but I can't remember how much. You should, if possible, try to be there when the nurse comes to do the admission intake assessment for home health. If your mom is still acting paranoid, make sure the nurse knows this...they may be able to split visits with a mental health nurse as well.
DAME THIS MAN OF YOURS.
I would love to say that if I can turn BF around for the better we should be able to do the same with H, but somehow I think he has no hope. What a cold, selfish asshole.
I'm so sorry you are going through all of this and what seems to be all alone on top of it all. I am always thinking of you and have you and your parents in my prayers.
I hope you hear some good news with the job interview you had so it can at least ease your financial burnden and get rid of the leeches.
My thoughts are with you.
)))))))HUGS((((((((
Sasha-thanks so much for the info
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
I plan on being there. If I am hired for the job I interviewed, it's going to be tight-because they need someone right now. As it is, they have fill ins coming from 160 miles away just to keep the office open.
Dad is eating Meals on Wheels and liking it right now. I started him on them last week. Mom is the one who says she refuses to do it. I discussed this with Dad, and he said, by God, she will too. At her age, with her level of inactivity BEFORE the broken bones, I firmly believe a balanced diet is really important for recovery.
I might be able to get the nurse aside and ask about the mental health nurse. Problem is, we only have the one home health nurse for the entire community. Her office is located 30 miles from here.
a tough situation..
I have 2 elderly relatives that live close by. My H's grandma and her BF..she fell a while back and couldnt take care of herself..BF is not much help as he has health problems too. I work all the time so could only help in the evenings and alternating weekends. Home health came in but only for showers. So i talked with neigbors and they helped alot. I have two that are home all day and helped to check on them. You would be surprised , people like to help out. between the nieghbors, and myself it kinda worked out. just a thought. Hope ya get the job!!
All good ideas-here's the rub
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
I checked into assisted living. My parents declined. Dad said he would not stay in assisted living even if Mom did, then Mom said NO!
We have no neighbors. Across the street is a bank. Next door on one side of Mom and Dad is a funeral home, I'm on the other side.
And my Mom doesn't have any friends here. Dad has a few coffee buddies, but that's it. And most of them have a disability of one kind or another.
It's upsetting-this is so hard, and Mom is fighting me every step of the way. They may think she's paranoid at the hospital-but I've known Mom to be this way-totally mistrusting-for most of my life. I love her, but she makes everything so complicated and hard. Refusing this refusing that. She even got mad at me at the last care meeting at the hospital because I asked them about the meds the Denver docs wanted her on. One was Fosomax, for osteoporisis. When was prescribed to her years ago, but she refused to take it, and that's how she is with most meds except the Xanax.
Funny, in a not funny way. Because she reads the fine print on every single prescription and finds some side effect as an excuse not to take it. But smoked all of her life, until a year ago!
Honestly, she and I butt heads alot. I told her a month ago (before this happened) that if I say black, she'll say white.
And I hate to say it, but Mom is pretty much all about Mom. Honestly, has been that way for a long time. Neither one of my sons has ever been invited to stay with Grandma & Grandpa-even tho we lived 30 minutes away when they were growing up. Her comment was she raised her kids; she's done.
And she said the strangest thing to me. Mom and Dad retired a few years ago. Dad loves to travel. But Mom always had an excuse (not feeling well every day of her life) so they didn't. Then Dad had his stroke, and any dreams of travel flew out the window. Mom's comment to me a few weeks ago was "It's good things worked out the way they did-your father would've worn me out wanting to travel all the time. :jawdrop:
But at 76 years old, what are you going to do with her? I mean, I love her, she is my Mom. And really loving someone, means loving them, faults and all. But damn, she's making this so hard. So very very hard. I know what she expects. She is thinking I can continue to prepare all meals, clean, cook do everything for them. Unfortunately, she chooses to ignore the fact that I've got to find a way to make a living, and can't do it all, all by myself.
Thanks. Just needed a vent. Feeling very overwhelmed at this point. Haven't even looked at my A & P book in almost a week now.
wow...yur plate is beyond full
I hope and pray beyond belief for u, Bewitched, that you get that job and u can change the locks!..The last thing u need right now is a useless H and skids making yur life even harder!!!...If they can't understand that a true family chips in during tough times and helps out, whether that means with Mom and Dad or by handing over yur cell phone, then honestly....it sounds to me that they don't deserve u...good riddance....I'm here for ya, BW...I'm praying for u
"Sooner or later, everyone's bill comes due"
Are you sure you can keep
Are you sure you can keep things together till you get a new job?? There is just so much stress!! Your h is an idiot. Giving a kid a credit card!! He has no money--is he expecting you to buy her anything she wants??
Apply everywhere--get him out of the house pronto.
I am sorry to hear about your Mom--I wish you the best.