Did you really expect any different?

I was actually talking to BF about this the other day. I'm not sure if you have read any of my previous blogs but BF, skids and I were involved in a horrific bushfire about 4 weeks ago. Luckly we were out of town when it happened so we are all okay. But I was telling BF that if we were home when the fire started the first thing I would of done was gotten the skids out of there and to my MIL and would of gone back for BF as he wouldn't of left with us, now if you have watched any of the news you would of seen how bad the Victorian Bushfires were, well if I had of gone back for BF we would of been stuck right in the inferno and most likly one or both of us wouldn't be alive, so I was telling BF that if something had of happened to him but the skids and I were ok, I wouldn't have got even a thank-you from BM for saving her kids lives and BF agreed.
Try not to take it personal, but next time I wouldn't even bother sending her a photo and if she gets upset because you didn't, let her know that you wont be wasting your time on someone that does appreciate it.

I have never, ever gotten an thank you from our BM, for anything! Its more like she resents me even more for doing something for HER child! its crazy

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

BM has never thanked me (or my husband) for anything. She just expects us to do everything so she doesn't have to.

Along with what Most Evil said, about BM resenting her for doing something for HER child...I know in our case, this is true. We'll tell her something that needs to be done, she ignores it or makes excuses, so we do it. She never thanks us. Instead, if she even does respond, she'll say something negative or nasty. And I think this is because she's mad at herself for being too lazy ("busy") to handle it. So of course, ME doing it pisses her off because she thinks I'm trying to outdo her or something.

*sarcastically* Yeah, BM, that's EXACTLY what it is! Your daughter (my husband's former SD) wore Krocs to school (in Vermont) until November, they broke & so your solution was buying a pair of SOCCER CLEATS from the thrift shop for her to wear to school. So I decided to show you up by going to *gasp* a STORE & buying a pair of sneakers for her. (Spending a whopping $15) Besides the fact that the school wouldn't even let her wear cleats to school, did you even consider how FSD11 felt? Because the impression I got from her was sheer embarrassment. (And making up a million excuses for YOU.)

This happened this past November. FSD11 wore the shoes I bought to school all week, went to BM's & BM sent us an email saying that we could return the shoes because SHE would be taking FSD11 to get some. Yeah, because all stores take back worn & dirty shoes! (Luckily, SD8 should be able to wear them next year.)

I know BM only took this attitude because my husband & I had to buy FSD11 shoes the previous two years because BM dropped the ball. During a heated conversation between BM & I last year, I mentioned having to buy shoes for FSD11 & BM threw a fit. She doesn't understand why it's such a big deal because we "only paid $15 for the shoes". Yeah, the money isn't the point, though! It's the fact that we had to make a special trip to get FSD11 (a child that's not even ours) shoes because it was November & she had been wearing Krocs still. BM had no intention of buying her shoes because as far as she was concerned, FSD11 had shoes (The Krocs, which have holes in them! Great for snowy Vermont winters, don't you think?!). INSANE!!!

something kind for someone EXPECT NO THANKS; truly do it only if you want to.

Only expect thanks from people who are cultured and dignified and have some sort of knowledge of familial/formal etiquette. Most people nowadays don't know of such things. Be careful to whom you give your heart & your kindness because most people don't deserve it.

One that's named Girl Friday perhaps.

BM still occasionally calls up DH and demands, "When is SHE going to take SD to get BRACES?!?!

That's right- SHE.

ME.

B/c SD tells BM I'm too lazy to take SD for her braces.

Well, I did take her to an ortho appt over a year ago, only to find out the Dentist sent me somewhere that wasn't a provider for our insurance. Then DH decided to switch jobs = new insurance. So we wait for that. Then DH decided to go back to old job = switch back to old insurance. THEN SD sneaks out in the middle of the night at the end of the summer, so we had to install ADT at 1200 bucks (hey- isn't that close to a 1/3 of braces money?) SD is peeved b/c DH tells her we can't afford a braces pmt right now. Because SD does have "fangs" (eye teeth above baby eye teeth)and does need them. BUT it's not emergent other than the superficial friends she hangs out with tease her (ummm...she has a ton of them, as well as always having a BF so I sincerely doubt people are ostracizing her for her teeth.) PLUS SD has a cutting incident that takes us to ER and we end up with a 500 buck bill. Cha-ching. No braces yet.

THEN we decide to start looking around again and DH's company announces in Oct that they are switching insurance in Jan. So we wait again.

Jan comes...and the recession hits. We have a 15K credit card that we need to pay off. I say no vacations, no braces, and budget like hell til that's gone. DH says ok. SD is PEEVED. We are not getting her braces b/c we don't love her, dontcha know.

Hmmmm...nothing is stopping BM from getting her braces if she wants to pay for them. But whenever she calls and DH reminds her she will owe about 1200 out of pocket herself she ends up swearing at him that he's lying and she never read that in any agreement.

So it's all my lazy fault!

I wish BM would throw some money at DH to appease him regarding med bills.

"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life." ~Geoffrey F. Abert