I tend to have little problems in comparision with others on this site as well. But these little things do add up!

Generally my SD is taking good care of by BM (as far as clothing and material things) however when it came to the day that we were going to have family pictures she sent SD to school/daycare in ripped jeans, stained shirt, the worst play shoes she has and her hair in a pony tail (which was done when her hair was wet) so she had to shower as well as change!

Frustrating!! BM does this anytime she finds out we are doing something. One night we dropped her off at BMs, BM stands inside her door so we don't have to see each other, and I told SD very loudly "we have a baby shower after school tomorrow so be sure not to wear anything with holes in it, something presentable, OK" BM called my H 5 mins later and said "tell SM I will be sure not to dress SD like a slob tomorrow!" and hung up. Good greif, just take care of your kid lady--I am glad she heard what I said. And it makes me even happier I p'd her off }:)

Be kinder than necessary to everyone! We all have our battles.

My youngest skid always come home from BM having not showered or changed his undies for the whole weekend-eeeewwweeee! One time he said he went for 5 days over there because he had no clean ndies, or ones that fit him!!!EEEEWWWEEEE! I am used to it now and have given up one her ever making him do it. So, I taught him how to do his own laundry, bought him undies for her house and I text him every night he's there to remind him to shower and change his underwear. He says he's rememebering on his own now, but that sometimes he still forgets. I gave up on trying to control what she does or if she does anything and just try to set a good example when the kids are with me. I know she doesn't do laundry, and I know she doesn't cook or clean, but the kids know when they are at my house, it all gets done.

We get it every time too. The BM always sends clothes too damn smalll.

However we purchased some things for her to wear here - so we are good.

But i never and would never allow my bd to go out looking like that. It is just crazy.

I wonder what it is that makes these women think that they are hurting the Step-moms? They are just hurting/neglecting their own kids and it's disgusting. My skids are filthy when they are dropped off from the BM and she does not have them take regular baths and hasn't taught them any basic hygiene (this is coming from a woman with facial hair and a double chin, so I shouldn't be surprised). I give the skids haircuts when their hair gets too scraggly and they enjoy the attention so much that it is really sad. I make a big deal out of hygiene at our house and try to make it fun by getting them special shampoo and lotion and things like that. As far as I can tell, they enjoy everything here, but go back to being filthy at the BM's house. I don't think it's their fault at all as the older one is mentally ill and at a second grade level emotionally and the other is four and not the brightest crayon in the box. Even smart kids need an adult guiding them and teaching them these basic things and they simply don't have that with the BM. I have brought up the hygiene (or lack of it) with the BM before (involving a disgusting underwear situation) and it has had no effect other than her slacking off even more, probably in an attempt to reject my advice and being too stupid to realize that she's hurting her own kids, not me. My DH and I are going to be having a baby of our own soon and this will be one child that will always be well taken care of and clean with nice clothes. I feel bad that I can't make sure the skids are clean and groomed all the time, but at this point I have been trying to let those things go because I can't do anything about it.

I will say that the Socio likes to keep my SD8's nice and expensive clothes whenever she is over there and sends her home with crappy Kmart clearance things or things that are too small for her. When BM was forced to move out of one of her apts. Her roommate actually dropped off 2 garbage bags of SD's clothes on our doorstep! We had forgotten all about them. Some ppl are completely unbelievable!!