What a f****ing slap in the face
I'm sitting here in tears full of rage while I'm reading the recommendation letter from the Guardian Ad Leitum. DH and I had requested that the court set a fixed placement schedule (we have 50/50) but the current schedule is 5 days with us, 4 with her, 5 with us etc. This has been solely based upon the fact that BM and her dumb*ss Fiancee both work 24 hr shifts as EMTs (they have to work the same shift to be together 24/7). So the GAL is recommending an every other day ping pong schedule one day here, one day there back and forth. DH brought this to court to cut down on this back and forth crap.GAL's reasoning is that way BM always has the skids on her day off. GAL states right in his letter "I don't want the parties to think that DH's work schedule isn't important, but any schedule we put together may result in DH having days he is not available because of a flight" (he's a pilot). GAL goes on to say "DH's wife (ME) is available to be with the children on any such days, with BM's significant other works the same hours that she does." WHAT!!!>>> So BM and SD get what ever f-ing schedule they want and never have to deal with day care.... why??? That's right because I'm the court appointed Nanny. I am so angry I can't even tell you. The GAL is using the fact that I'm at home (with my 10month old BD) to rule in BM's favor when he never even bothered talking to me. I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take.
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OMG
OMG that is so unfair,, I am so sorry, so BM and Her Fiancee get what ever they want, and your the Nanny,,,
I dont know what to say, but Im upset, that is just not fair......
the GAL
in there infinate wisdom is forgetting, that shuffling the skids back and forth from house to house is NOT GOOD for them. And your supposed to just drop everything and have your life dictated....yeah right!! I'v had to go through this before, and I just flat out refused!! I'm sorry your dealing with this. To unfair. "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."~ Randy Pausch
I agree
it's not fair to treat the kids as if they are ping pongs, that is what this GAL is doing! This is our legal system, everbody! :sick:
Unbelievable.
God, that is SOOO unfair. Why is it that in situations like this, everyone just assumes the SM is the babysitter and substitute parent whenever it's convenient? You are NOT one of the parents! I'm so frustrated for you! The GAL was out of line to assume that this is your responsibility, unless you explicitly said you were willing to be a caregiver whenever one of the parents was unavailable.
Shouldn't there be some sort of step-parental rights act?
- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)
Step Parental Rights Act
I think there should be some kind of rights act. If we are excepeted to do all the work of a BM then we should have as much say so as the kids naturals parents. I personally run that way no matter what. With the schools and all. For my SD Parent Conferences they now make sure my name is on front of the notice to now. Probably because the teacher knows who does everything. But still I make my presence known.
man o man
boy i would be pissed off too! It just seems so unfair!!! Really I dont think the step parents should be considered in this type of decision...when it comes to my skids they have 2 parents...bio parents and they made the kids and they can deal with them!!!!!!!!
He never even talked to you?
I would address this with your attorney. GALs can be reassigned though I'm afraid that may be too late since he's recommended already.
I was so very fortunate that our atty was also a SF who ended up fully adopting his SKIDS. When I told him the mediator didn't show any interest in talking to me (actually asked me to leave the first visit when BM wasn't even there) our atty was floored and encouraged us to address that with the mediator.
But the GAL came to our home and met with US. We presented as a united front all along and our atty encouraged us.
I'm floored at the GAL's recommendation for EO DAY anyway, as in my divorce from my exH, his atty (we shared but it was technically his) wasn't sure that we should do MT/WT split with EOweekend because the consensus in divorce/custody law is that too much transition isn't healthy for the kids. But we did that arrangement the first few years til they got older and we altered it between ourselves.
I CANNOT believe this news. I am so sorry. I would say to tell DH to tell the atty that he feels this is not in his children's best interest and make sure and site how they transition poorly already with their current amount of back and forth. Also, I would have the atty mention if possible that the SM was never interviewed as to her availability on DH's non-working days.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Oh boy
i can certainly see why that arrangement would be an issue. The flip flopping is the issue most kids have. When kids are the product of a split family they tend to despise change. I wonder how long this GAL has had this job. Can you request a different one? Or request a 2nd opinion?
foot
Put your foot down. We volunteer to do what we do and its not like we are paid servants. If you dont want to do it let mommie dearest or daddy figure out a way to raise their kd and be responsbile. Dont let those people treat you like you are an indentured servant. Let her get a sitter or pay care like normal people.
I Would Bring it to the Judge
I Would Bring it to the Judge. Request to see a Judge. No Judge would rule for that. She should get charged daycare and you should be getting a high amount in childsupport if your stepchild is staying with you that long. I got walked all over like that until my sd started school. Now I still have to be the Parent Volunteer and do everything a mom is supposed to do. If you dont put your foot through the floor then you will always be trapped as the babysitter
Ping ponging
children is NOT in their best interest.
I would also take this to the next level and request a judge to review the case. Additionally, it is not correct to dictate child placement on a live-in honey. The fiancee, in this case, had more rights than you. I am so sorry you are going thru this.
Ping ponging
children is NOT in their best interest.
I would also take this to the next level and request a judge to review the case. Additionally, it is not correct to dictate child placement on a live-in honey. The fiancee, in this case, had more rights than you. I am so sorry you are going thru this.
Ping ponging
children is NOT in their best interest.
I would also take this to the next level and request a judge to review the case. Additionally, it is not correct to dictate child placement on a live-in honey. The fiancee, in this case, had more rights than you. I am so sorry you are going thru this.
Tell them your
child care rates are $$ an hour or $$$ a day or $$$$ a week. }:)
Never eat more than you can lift.
Miss Piggy
As a step you are NOT
As a step you are NOT legally responsible to provide care for his kids. I would make it clear to the courts that you will not care for your DH's kid for free. So, she can either pay her "portion" of what you will be charging for daycare for their child while your DH works or you can place the child in daycare when your DH is not available to parent (while he is working) and the BM can pay half...
I would get
a job that interfered as well. you have the right to make money, you can't stay home with the skids all day. The only thing the arrangement is good for is that BM doesn't have to pay you CS becuz she has overnights--even though you ahve to feed and cloth them nearly everyday.