Is this ok for DH to request of BM?
Please note that I will no longer be accepting your phone calls or replying to your text messages unless it is an emergency situation in regards to Jacob, such as if he is hurt or sick or if for some reason you can’t meet me for drop-offs or pick-ups. If you have anything else that you need to discuss with me please do so in writing or via email as I will not be responding to anything that is not an emergency via phone or text message but only in writing or email.
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I agree and same problem
We have had to send the same e mail to BM not just once but 5 times. It works for about 4 months until the word emergency starts to include every thing. Last week BM was calling DH at work non stop while she was runnign around town trying to get cash for child support check. Her bank would not give her cash but would only put it into ther account. He again had to remind her to not call him or text him unless it is an emergency. She reponded needing cash was an emergency.
Ive sent that
We have sent similiar emails like that to BM for years. In fact it is in the agreement that she must only communicate by email now,
We also stated to please leave out any opionions, and only stick with the facts regarding the child in the emails
Of course we still get her crazy wacked out emails,
I told my exH I blocked
I told my exH I blocked texting from my phone, he was texting me non-stop. So after a few weeks of me telling him I don't have texting anymore & not responding to his texts, I stopped getting them all together. If he calls my phone when our son is in school, I don't answer. If he calls after that, I give it to my son to answer. Even my son gets sick of him calling all the time and he'll tell him so. He's 5 years old. So ExH is basically forced to only email me, and if it doesn't require a response, I don't respond. At least once a day he'll email me with "hi" and thats it. I never respond. We've been split up for 4 yrs and he is 10 times better now than when we first split. He was completely psychotic at first.
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
Thats what we do too
When BM calls we let her leave a message and then call her back after H and I have discussed it. If BM calls when SD is with us, usually BM does not, on occassion we just hand the phone to SD to answer.
BM does the same. We leave message she calls back or SD answers the phone. There is no need to have excess communication, it just causes problems.
It's absolutely ok to REQUEST...
However...I just have to ask...
is your DH part of the problem as well???
Is this the case why the email is even needed to be sent in the first place?
All the power is in your DHs hands to shut this down. BM may call 10 times a day or text the same amount, but if DH keeps RESPONDING TO HER, it will NEVER STOP- she will keep playing her sick game because she has found a willing playmate in your DH.
My DH played this game with his ex for many years.
She called- he ran to his phone. She texted, he jumped to immediately text back.
And it was never an emergency. It was all about her NEEDING ATTENTION. And he enabled her each and every time.
And his lame-a$$ excuse every time he ran to the phone, "There could be an EMERGENCY with the girls."
So I challenged him, "Really? In over 5 years, how many times has there been an emeregency? A trip to the hospital? A death? A true sickness?...Zero. Zip. Nada. But how many thousands of times has she called to drone on and on to you because she's bored an needs someone to listen to her BS?"
Slience from DH
"I rest my case."
So the new rules went like this:
*DO NOT answer the phone if it is her. If there is a real issue, she will leave a message, and then you will call her back AT YOUR COVENIENCE. And that does not mean RIGHT AWAY.
*If she needs to contact you about anything else, she can email you. All other contact (i.e. texts, will be handled the same way as phone calls)
I refused for him to continue to have this dysfuntional relationship with her anymore. It was sick. She was remarried. Let her new husband deal with her crap and pay attention to her little problems, because MY DH was not her problem anymore.
And after he refused to "play her game" and answer the phone every time she beckoned, the calls drastically slowed down on their own.
Something to think about
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
ah! great minds think alike 5teens! ;)
same here...no matter how many times DH had to say it, it took a long time of him just ignoring her until she got the hint and stopped.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
;-)
Laughed when I saw what you wrote, Bella. And was thinking EXACTLY the same thing!
Were we separated at birth?
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
we could have been!
after all, we are both so beautiful, wise, witty, charming, etc etc etc...so it could be!!! we also must both be gluttons for punishment since we r stepmoms! no wonder we get along so well!
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
i think its fine
may take awhile though...it did for us to get thru to BM. just STOP responding to anything. if she calls, let it go to VM. if its an emergency, she will leave a msg. if she just says call me its important, DONT. likely its not important.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
DH is good it's BM that sucks
DH has been ignoring her phone calls and text messages. We've got full custody of SS so really there isn't reason for BM to be contacting us but she does it anyway. DH is actually sending this as a letter to get her to stop constantly calling and leaving voicemails or texting and to just contact us in writing, would help us as well so we can have documentation of her bi-polar ways.
Then document away!
Absolutely- it can't hurt. But as you well know, it probably won't stop her, either.
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
We had to block txting on BF's phone
BF is more of an analog guy and really isn't into txting. We've never added txting to his cell phone because he's never wanted it. He doesn't even like to talk on the phone much for that matter. Once SD got a cell phone she started txting BF, usually late at night when she wanted to cancel or modify the visitation schedule. Since txting wasn't part of our cell plan we started to incur additional charges. We asked SD and BM to please either call or email because we didn't want extra charges and didn't want to add txting to our plan. Making that request only seemed to encourage them to do it more! I finally said to BF, I'm adding txting or blocking it completely, what do you prefer? He said to block it. So now if they are txting, we don't know and aren't getting charged for it. After a huge blow up with BM, we also requested that she only communicate through written correspondence. Unless you are one of the lucky few that have respectful relationships with the EX, I think it should be email or snailmail.
just right
Nope..I think that sounds just right.He is providing her with regular means of contact with him via email..(Not to mention a record of it can be kept). She doesn't need to be calling and texting him everyday..email is just fine.
In a perfect world their would be retroactive abortion capabilities. ~ disgusted