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good bye to moocher (for now) long part 1

sarahbernheart's picture

Ok so where to begin. FSS had been MIA for a few days before Thanksgiving, this is still AFTER the inital talk about him taking on some responsibility and to help around the house when he decides to grace us with his presence. IE> if he wants to do laundry he needs to call plus he will need to help around the house in order to have the privelge of washing his clothes. and it is not just the clothes..it is a myriad of issues-see blog about tired of muucher..Ok so FH and I meet up at Walmart to buy groceries for T-day, (this is night before t-day) Since we drove seperately FH leaves with his two bkids I go return a movie. when I get home I realise that moochy is back. And guess what FH knew it and didnt bother to tell me!! I was so angry cuz this has been a bone of contention for us
FSS just walking in like he owns the place and NOBODY lets me know what the hell is going on in my own HOUSE?? "shriek" SSSOOO Instead of blowing up I calmly walk up the stairs telling FH thanks for letting me know.I decide to cool off in my room and to give FH time to talk to BS about his life or lack there of.
reminder ...I had asked FH to get our key from BS a week previously without success BS gave some lame ass excuse about wanting to do better...hello "DaD" same song different dance..Plus BS is NOT actively looking for a job or to improve his life at all.
this boy/man is so clueless and self centered it would put any adult to shame.
I will continue later.

Comments

bellacita's picture

how insensitive of FH...gosh they can be such idiots! what was his response??

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

KittyKat's picture

My son's latest is that he is "bipolar" (a bunch of shit; since he dropped out of college nearly three years ago now, he's had
illness after illness...I DID have one doctor tell me he was
neurotic...for the same reason. If his is "ill" he can't do a
whole hell of a lot except for sit around and WHINE and feel
sorry for himself. How can one go and get a REAL job and
SUCCEED if one is "ill"?)

Oh, and nothing against being bipolar. Many people are. That
is just another point. There are so many meds, etc. out there
that it can be managed and one can live a normal life.

He has now "bounced" to my mom's, he talks to neither me nor
his BioDad (nor our respective spouses); he doesn't even talk to
his sister anymore (BD, 16...never ONCE congratulated her for
getting her license, see how she'd doing in school, etc.)

Because HE is the center of the universe. I think he has a severe case of narcissism. It's all about him, but Sarah, it's always been that way. He was a spoiled brat as a little boy,
too. All I know is I put my foot down when he quit college.
Probably the best thing I could have done for him. Let my
mother enable him if she wants.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt

now4teens's picture

And how was your actual T-day? I'm sure the atmosphere was 'charged' because if I were you, I'd be so angry at FH for his lying to you about FSS and the whole "key thing". (Not to mention the fact that he still isn't looking for a job, and it's quite obvious that your FH is ok with still treating him like he's a little helpless boy).

When you get the chance, you'll have to fill us in on the rest up to the current status. You've been on my mind, girlfriend Smile

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

KittyKat's picture

Just wanted to add this, Sarah...when my son dropped out of college (his senior year, no less), I was
distraught. He chose a college 4 hours away, so there was no way I could really "check up" on him; plus since he was over 18, much of his information was confidential (even tho I was paying some of the bills, so figure...)

ANYHOO, I called his counselor at the college, and she informed me that this is a common occurence with young men. They call it "Peter Pan" syndrome. As soon as they realize that the world is going to expect them to GROW UP, they come up with every excuse in the world to stay "little boys".

I just don't want you to think I'm taking any illness of my son lightly. My son IS NOT ill. However, since he was covered under my health care,
everytime he had a bellyache or a bad ZIT (I am not lying!) he would run into the ER, flash my insurance card like a buy one/get one free pass, and TADA!! He was babied and pampered.

This has now CHANGED since "mommy's" health care no longer covers him. He has gone to just about every "specialist" under the name of the sun (with MY HEALTH CARE PLAn paying, no less), and no one has found anything wrong with him yet. He finally found
some psychiatrist who claims he is bipolar. Funny how no one else picked up on this before. But, as one physician told me, SOMEONE will eventually tell him has SOMETHING just to shut him up (and, of course, for the $$$$)

The only thing my H and I told him was that he was welcome to stay at our home TEMPORARILY (when he quit college; he was already 22!!); he would look for full time work, he would not just LAY AROUND drinking and eating our food, he would NOT just help himself to our stuff (he used to shower in OUR master bath when we weren't there and use H's shaving stuff, etc...WRONG)....and we are the "bad ones"

NOT!! Hang in there, Sarah, and HOLD YOUR GROUND.
The earlier you nip "Peter Pan" syndrome in the bud,
the more productive and GRATEFUL your SS will be DOWN THE ROAD! I wish I had put my foot down earlier, believe me!

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt