the other side of that....

it's a huge hassle getting your name changed back after a divorce. For something that happens, what, 50% of the time with marriages, many aspects of life look at you completely blankly when you explain what you're trying to do. Just when you think you've got them all, some other stupid thing comes up.

I still write checks with my married name on them
my ATM card still has my married name on it (despite my requests for a new one)
my driver's license still has my married name on it
and yes, the company I do consulting work for has not changed my "nsiren@" account despite my numerous requests

believe you me, I get no joy out of seeing my exs name attached to mine, it irritates the hell out of me, truth be told. As soon as I could I updated all my own info with my maiden last name, but some things just take more than that....

Off topic, bur your BM is an idiot for having her last name on her myspace anyway!

from my SD, the reason we're going through it all....:
o, btw, my dad and *northernsiren* are the best family a girl(and boy) could ever hope for. Thank you for helpping me through these hard times.

It IS difficult to change ALL things, and I KNOW
it annoys my H. MY personal Email still resembles
my XHs last name, but so many people have it that
I don't even bother to try to change it. In addition, as more people are TEXTING instead of
Emailing, it seems senseless to go thru the effort
to change the address, send the new one to former
students, etc. when it will be obsolete before long
anyway.

My H knows it is NOTHING personal. All of the "im-
portant" stuff has his last name (mortgages, etc.).
In NO way does using my XHs initials indicate any
need to be attached to him; I'm just too busy for
the hassle (and I really don't use my personal Email
all that much) My WORK Email IS my currenct H's last name and my first initial, and I use that one
more than the personal one.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt

I kept my ex's name after the divorce and never went back to my maiden name for all those reasons-- it was just too much of a hassle. Plus I didnt want the kids confused with our last names being all of a sudden different (they were young at the time).

Also, I was established in my job at the time and it would have been a major headache to change everything.

However, after I remarried 3 years later, the kids were older and it was easier to explain to them why I needed to take DHs last name. And it was still a pain in the neck to do it then, too, but obviously, much more important that I make the change at THAT time!

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

I've been thinking about this stuff too lately because the bm wearing my H's last name is really irritating me...among all the other crap she does that irritates me, like that constant breathing...in and out... LOL
Anyways, I think you all have answered my questions too. And I had a thought!!! I realize now that I'd better get used to bm having my H's last name because 1)she's too lazy to change it 2)her cryptkeeper bf will *never* marry her and 3)*nobody* will ever marry her. So I figure I'd better get my issues worked out now because she's going to be keeping it for a long time! LOL

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

drivers license hasn't been changed yet. I did get it changed on my Social Security, but seem to have a mental block with the D.L.

Wonder what that could be? Maybe something to do with the joke of a wedding nite, subconciously rebelling against H? Gee, I should be a psych major!

I must say, I've been married for over a year & my email still has my old married name...I'm just lazy I guess to call the internet company & have my account changed. I really need to get on that! But, legally my name was changed within 2 months of my marriage.

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

But all it requires here is a trip to the courthouse-3 blocks away, small town, no line...think the line is in my head...like so many things these days

Maybe I'll do it for a Christmas present for H...then again, maybe not.

had this problem, exactly. I've never been married. I have a different problem though. I don't want to take his last name until BM changes hers. I just cannot sport the same last name as her. It will be a huge, shameful, professional hassle. Everyday, I come into work, my co-workers and I enjoy our first cuppa joe while pouring through the police blotter in our email. I have seen my future last name in there more times than I care to thanks to BM. So she's got to die, move, or get married before I'll be taking FH's name when we marry. I'm sure that hurts his feelings and he's hoping maybe I can do something to 'uplift' the name. I can only work with so much.

Can you legally force an ex-wife to change her name?

I've been married two years and have changed my name EVERYWHERE.... EXCEPT.... with social security!

I absolutely hated it when BM was still using DH's last name... her excuse was that she didn't want to upset the kids by changing her last name (yeah right!) Well the kid's feeling went right out the darn window when BM married again! Funny thing is she was only married for a total of 5 months (including the waiting period for her newest divorce!) HA! And she is still going by that poor sap's last name.... I'm just happy she no longer carries MY name!

I guess maybe I should take a trip down to my local social security office??

I have five work email accounts, Social Security, the military, and then have to list my maiden name as an AKA on my security clearance that gets re-done every five years. It was too much of a hassle to even think about. Besides, my first name sounds weird with DH's last name (originally French, but his Cajun forefathers changed the pronunciation to identical to a man's first name) We're not going to have kids, so there's no kids names issues.

Besides, there's only four members of my family with our last name younger than I am. Two girls and two boys. One of the boys is sterile (cystic fibrosis) so it's up to my 22 yr old cousin to carry on the name. It's unique, and if someone screws it up it's easier to correct than the most common error with my husband's name.

~Trish

why would you even want your exes last name????
just because it was to much of a hassel to change it.or the kids? I was married for thirteen years,had three children,and couldn't get rid of his name fast enough. I was not his wife anymore so there for that is no longer who I am?
I'm proud of my maiden name,that is who I always have been and will be.My kids were fine with it,It really wasn't there deal to be concerned about.I've been re- married for 2 1/2 years and guess what,I still have my maiden name. he's great about it. he totally understood why I kept it,and has never brought it up to me about changing it,I think he's actually kind of proud of me for being proud of myself and a little independent.???? get on the ball girls make it a new years resolution,