try to dettach from the situation. Your DH needs to make it clear to everybody what yor position is in his life and his daughter's life.

Hugs,

And I wouldnt write it off to hormones, either. Even though your SD is a little young and her comment was totally innocent, I could see why it would bother you. Those little remarks sting to the core, don't they? And innocent or not, they just don't get any easier over time I'm sorry to say.

And the thing about the teacher and the BM- I'd send the teacher a nice little ''reminder'' note about her mistake- I bet she'll never make that mistake again! (And I've done it with several teachers myself over the years) It always feels like a little victory for me.

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

This is DEFINITELY one insensitive thing that happens with PAPERWORK, and it happens at our house
all the time. My H has never really said if it
bothers him, but either my daughter or I get the mail
before H comes home.

All they ask for on my daughter's various forms are
her BIO parents names and addresses. Since she puts mine first, much mail comes to us, with her FATHER'S
name on it, but with my address.

I guess I'd better be a bit more sensitive to that.
I never really did anything to correct it. Since H
never really complained, I never really worried about it. (Also, the log-in for my D's school grades, etc. is her BIO Dad's name...that bothered
me since she lives with ME full time but, I guess,
as a teacher, I question if it's the SCHOOL's
responsibility to be "politically correct" or, as in
5Teens suggestion, we should contact them.)

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt

ya, that comment would hurt. I'd be tempted to say something back like next time she wants you to make her something to eat and her dad's not around, "I guess since you live here I can feed you."

Maybe I'm just petty.

As for the school thing. My FH has sole managing conservatorship and until recently BM had "reasonable visitation" which has since been changed to standard visitation as no one can define "reasonable" and it was completely uneforceable. I have a notarized letter saying I'm a legal guardian for skids. FH's job is less flexible than mine so I went to the schools to get documents set up and everything changed for emergency contacts. One stupid secretary took it upon herself to call BM after I went. Of course, she flipped. I asked the secretary the next day when I called to schedule an appointment for FH and I with the principal why she would do that?
"Well, blah blah blah, BM has kids, she registered them, etc."
My response was "You must have misunderstood the idea of "sole managing." BM has been in violation of a court order. I'm assuming you don't want to be."
Oh, I still hate dealing with that presumptuous, busy body!

if SD wants something to eat and dad isn't around, the comment could also be, ''Oh, I cant do that for you. A REAL parent could, but since I just kinda sorta live here, maybe I'm not allowed to do those kind of things for you.''

Yeah, I take up residence in Pettyville sometimes, too!

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

any more houses available there in Pettyville??
I will buy the biggest one we could be neighbors!!

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

right next door to the town where most of the men in our lives take up residence-- the Land of Denial.

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

you are too funny...turn left on Lane of Illusions!!
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

It's so nice to be around smart, witty people.lol It makes this whole sm thing better when there's great people to share a laugh with.

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

Some days it's my favorite town!

I know she's only 8, but I'd have a hard time with what she said too. Maybe next time she wants you to take her somewhere or buy her something, you could just respond with "well, I guess I can do that. Since you sometimes live with us"