You are here

Am I being silly?

4ofus's picture

I am supposed to run a 5k on Thursday, a Drumstick dash. Its my first race, and I am pretty excited that I am doing it. Well...I have been getting vibes and comments for a while now(planned this month ago) about not being at his family's early for breakfast that morning. We usually do that every year, and I enjoy it, bu the timing of the run just doesn't allow it. So I asked today if he intended on coming, his response.."guess I can... we got invited for breakfast thurs morning" and,to translate... I don't want to I want to go to breakfast, and you should skip the run and go too.

I am amazed at how much this hurt my feelings, as I do a lot by myself, and enjoy the "me" time. I guess I just thought he would be my moral support, or at least be happy for me to do something like this.

I guess the part that bothers me is that if it was for one of his kids.. no questions asked, he would be there. but for me? well I am second fiddle apparently.

Comments

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

I'm proud of you...wish I had the fortitude to join ya. I used to run-great stress reliever.

Yep, we are second fiddle in all things to our H's-if we even make second. So be your own cheerleader. I happy you're doing this.

4ofus's picture

Bewitched, I am trying to push my fitness before I get pregnant, and its hard!! I can promise that eating breakfast and sitting around sipping coffee all morning sounds really tempting.

He has now said he will run with me, but I kind of feel that having to ask for it like I did, well, its just not as special for him to be there, ya know?

I can say that we have minimal issues on a lot of things, but I notice things here and there that I hadn't before. And its things like this that get to me...

I guess this too, shall pass...

Rags's picture

I understand completely. It took me several years to learn that my focus should be my wife and not necessarily my parents and their family.

That said, I am fortunate that my wife gladly joined my family and my family accepted my wife and SS as their own.

Hell, my parents like my wife better than they like me. She took me off of their hands. At least most of the time.

Your H should understand that sometimes he needs to support you no matter who he has to let down to do it.

At least IMHO.

Good luck with the race.

4ofus's picture

he does need to understand that. Funny thing is, he 99.9% of the time does not place his extended family in front of me. His family loves me and they are all(at least what they have told me) excited that I am doing it. So I think it really comes down to him liking our little tradition and not wanting to break it. Which I understand!

It is nice to hear a man's perspective of things, because the truth is, you guys are really wired different. I just wish I could understand his way of thinking at times..maybe then I could be more creative at approaching things.

I need to develop thicker skin though I think..

sarahbernheart's picture

do the run I am sure if you dont you will regret it!!
make a point to have breakfast with them just by yourself, if they care about you then they will support your decision, running is not an easy thing to do, and it takes training and dedication, I used to run mini marathons- so I understand how feel and what it means.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

4ofus's picture

doing the run, I have been training for a month now! It really is challenging! And thier breakfast consists of bacon, sausauge, gravy, lol all that good stuff that will make me feel like a ton of bricks. And they live 30 min in the opposite direction of the run.

I am going to go... and feel good about my accomplishment..wonder if I will even get a "good job" out of it from him.

sarahbernheart's picture

I am rooting for ya!
givem hell and remember every step towards the finish line already makes you a winner!!
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

4ofus's picture

that will be a nice thought to keep in mind when I get to that last mile!! Smile

Thanks!

now4teens's picture

And screw anyone else who doesn't support you.

I seriously doubt that if the shoe were on the other foot and it was him who were running, you would be there fully supporting him. So why is there even a hint of hesitation on his part for you?

Good luck. I'm not a runner, so I'm always impressed by those who can!

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

4ofus's picture

that is how I look at it.. I would be there for him!!!

KittyKat's picture

I used to be an "avid" 5Ker, and you can't help the timing.
You gotta be there, and ya gotta kick some BUTT!!

My XH had no interest in my running, either. But, when I started meeting new FRIENDS (male and female) and the races,
wow did he take notice!! (It was too late by then). My
feelings used to be really hurt by his lack of interest, too.

The IRONIC thing, is that I hooked my current H into running.
He did a 5K on Memorial Day,and I couldn't make it!! I think
next year we'll do it together. I owe him one.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt

4ofus's picture

my DH actually is a very fit person, and had considered running with me when I first started talking about it. But I am assuming that he thought that if he didn't run there was no need to go???

I do plan on doing more, cause running has been such a great boost in my workout.

BTW.... since so many of you are runners.. what should I wear for a shirt?? Its going to be like 35-40 degrees.

KeepsGettingBetter's picture

My BF hasn't been able to make it to alot of the functions that I have sung at. It's very upsetting and kind of a put down, especially when I go with him and support him with everything he does. I just can't understand men and I've stopped trying.
I have just made a point to him that if something is important to him and I have plans I wont be changing them anymore if he can't do the same for me.

Weather your DH makes it to see you or not, I hope you at least find comfort in knowing we are all cheering for you and if we could all be there we would holding our pom poms nice and high waving them and you cross the finish line.

Good luck 4ofus I'm sure you will do great.

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

Just a little wicking top underneath a very light weight zip up. But I'm always cold, so always layer if it's under 80 degrees!

Good luck girl. My imaginary pom poms are purple, by the way! Smile

bellacita's picture

so awesome that u are doing that...i always wanted to be a runner, but never could get into it.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin