I thought of this while reading the forum topic about losing touch with the skids if DH were to die. So as not to hijack the thread...

I don't think I'll have much, if any, contact with SD stb 13 if her father were to die. I've been pretty open about my lack of emotional investment with SD due to lack of visitation. I do think BM will try to see me in court though.

See, as military, we pay some ridiculously small amount every month for a $400k life insurance policy. Last I knew, DH had split it 50/50 between SD and me. DH is set to "deploy" in '09, and I told him he might want to take advantage of JAG and set up a trust for SD's half of the funds, based on some of the posts I've seen here. I've got nothing against him providing for his daughter in the event of his death, but I would hate for BM to get her hands on $200k, no strings attached. This is a woman who gets more than half of the average cost of raising a child (according to NewsWeek - $290,000 to the age of 21, ~$1150/month) every month, but doesn't have a college fund started - while driving a 2008 convertible and buying a Harley. So yeah, I thought a trust was a good idea.

To my shock, he informed me that he had changed beneficiaries - I was now the sole recipient. He is not required by the DD or the CS agreement to carry life insurance, but I'm thinking BM is in for a rude shock because of COURSE he would leave her his policy - "it's for SD!!!"

For the record, I think my odds of dying in '09 are higher than his: I'm going to the Middle East and he's going to South America. But he *is* going to Columbia at some point, and given his luck, (he survived an IED hitting his Humvee in March and was in a 4-hour firefight in a nasty part of Iraq - not a scratch on him) well, the FARC (Columbian anti-government rebels) will snag an American hostage if they can. The last set were kidnapped for over five years.

Anyway, back to the topic. Should I offer to maintain CS? If BM is an absolute witch to me and demands it, what are the chances a judge would find for her? Would it be better to preemptively offer $100k in a trust? DH owes less than $50k in CS until his obligation to BM is done. His obligation to SD is a different thing totally, although I think I've convinced him that college tuition is not a right, and if he *wants* to contribute to SD's college it would be on a reimbursement-for-grades rather than financing a party. I don't want to be a complete tool about money, but I do think it's a decision made in advance rather than when I'm grieving for my recently-dead husband.

Any thoughts?