BM was the first daughter in law. Only boys in the family. My FMIL told me that she told BM that her family was inclusive not exclusive and the more the merrier. FMIL also told BM that she would always love her unless she hurt her son which she did so she got a one-way ticket out of the family. BM did not like it much when the middle brother married. She went so far as to tell the new sister in law - I will have the first XXX baby, not you. BM made jabs at the SIL right up until BM and Bf split up.

While neither of us have a problem with BM having a relationship with the inlaws - they are the only living grandparents - I find it rude that BM thinks she can just drop in on them unannouced. FFIL travels alot and FMIL works real early in the morning so she goes to bed pretty early in the evening. None of their children would just stop by their parents house without calling them beforehand. I think its a common curtusy (spelling??) in this day and age with people being so busy and runing here and there all the time that you call before you stop over for a visit. Granted on Halloween the whole neighborhood stops by unless your porch light is off otherwise oone should call first. I certainly do and the F-inlaws love me!

Yes, BM is trying to suck up to her former inlaws. The whole family is cordial to BM when they see but they will not seek her out or call her to see the baby. Grandma offered to babysit many times and was told "I can find my own babysitter, thank you!". I wish my mom lived close enough to babysit once and a while or just come over and hang out with the kids.