DH cooked us all dinner and I got home about 45 mins before he had to leave for his job on our company's night shift. He made a really nice dinner, and the skids came in to eat...another family dinner. The boys were really pretty well behaved except for ss12...he was throwing food around in a mini-fit because he couldn't stay outside playing with his friends. DH was all on him and ss13 about being good today and for me, or else he would rip their arms off and beat them to death with the bloody ends.(I exaggerate, but he was pretty intense, although not worthy of calling CPS lol).
So I packed a lunch for DH before he left (ew never did that in all 13 years)...so he was pretty happy with our little family moment, but was still pretty worked up about having to work nights and worried that the boys would act up. I've got years of kid experience so I wasn't worried...I've seen hell-spawn before and there aren't that bad.
So around 8, the older skid comes in--since they had to be in by 8:30. But no younger skid. So turns out younger skid was in phone fight with dh and ew over sleeping over at friends house. Parents want to exert control and he wants to disobey, and me...I didn't care where he slept.
So he comes home promptly at 8:30 storms up to his room and slams the door. So me and ss13 watch tv and he chats with me...he's pretty chatty when he gets to know you so I was feeling pretty happy. Plus he'd been asking his dad about me coming over all the time and seems to be really warming up to me (big smile :)--Its really nice to see somebody appreciates the mom-like things I do that they normally don't get...clean clothes, hot meals, lunches, drop offs at school, etc.... Finally recognition!!! lol
So around 10, dh calls and he's still frazzled. So I calm him down and talk with him a while. Meanwhile ss12 comes downstairs wrapped in a blanket and goes into the cozy chair and hides. So I make things nice with dh and get him calmed down and off the phone, and go tend to ss12. Food is the big tool in our stepmom arsenal, so I use it.lol I say he looks kinda hungry, and he nods all sad and teary. So I say I'm not sure what all he likes but I do know he likes cereal, how bout that? So he nods and comes with me (I can see he's lightening up a little). And I get him some fruity loops and we have a little cereal and a chat. I told him everything was going to be alright...everybody has bad days and fights sometimes...and that his dad is just very upset about having to work nights cuz he really wants to spend time with all of us, and go to his hockey games, so he's really sad and upset right now. So skid perks up cuz he gets it or kind of does. So we go up to bed and he goes right to bathroom to brush teeth (trust me, a FIRST for him!) and goes to his older bro to tell him to brush his teeth too. So i tell him good job, I'll let dad know how good you've done and how good you've been to do what you were told.
So everybody goes to bed and all is well in our world.
I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with ss13...he's alot like his dad, so it's nice to see him being less shy around me and i can see our relationship starting to grow. It's nice getting to interact more with ss12 too. And I'm starting to understand and empathize with him more now...I had thought he was just a spoiled little brat (like his mom), but I can see that he's obviously having the usual kid issues plus got issues from the divorce. I really felt bad for him...not in a way where I felt he was manipulating me, but more like I really felt bad for him. He's got alot going on inside him obviously and it's kind of bubbling to the surface in his bad behavior. He's seeing a shrink, along with his parents separately, to see how to get him on track. So I really do feel bad for him...I look at him and hope that if it had been me getting divorced, that there would be a stepmom in his life who would love and care for him when he's hurting and I wasn't around. So I feel good that I can offer some kind of comfort to him. I'm sure on some level he hates me because I'm the reason his mom and dad can't get back together (in his mind)...but then I realize he doesn't hate me any more than his mom's bf...plus I'm way nicer to him than he is.lol I just can understand his feelings and I'll respect them.
And so that was my first night taking care of the skids. I don't think it went too badly.
Thanks for listening.