Birthday Surprises
My youngest SD turned 6 today.
We're taking her out for dinner tonight and she told her Daddy that she wants to go to the place with the Owl in the name.
"You know Daddy...your FAVORITE restaurant."
Owl in the name??????
Ohhhhh, little missy wants to go to Hooters for some chicken wings.
She cracks me up. Can't wait 'til she tells mommy where she's going for her birthday dinner.
Saturday is the first 'joint' birthday party we've had in three years. BM bought the decorations and made brownies then informed DH last night that he could pay for the rest. DH simply said "that's fine" and hung up. Then looked at me and said that she's doesn't have to worry about it next year, there will be no more joint parties...her little contribution isn't worth it. Hallelujah to that.
I'm filling my 5 gallon water jug full of Margarita Mix (I'm not joking) and I'm bringing my own little army. Three of my girlfriends and their kids are coming. It's at a huge park and I have every intention of staying as far away from her as possible. I'll have to be careful though because we're bringing water guns and I can't imagine what I'm capable of doing with a Super Soaker 3000, a gallon of Margaritas, and BM standing 5 feet away...
Oops...my bad... 
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Tell me about it
Those joint parties are SO not worth it. The way they worked when SD was little was that we paid for the invitations and the party package (Chuck E. Cheese, laser tag, roller rink) and the goody bags and the cake and the decorations, and BM would show up and try to take over. She didn't like it much when I didn't let that happen. If you want to be in charge, pick up the tab!
I can't imagine the temptation of a giant water gun and BM standing there like a giant target!!
I know...RIGHT
BM will show up and be SuperMom.
She's hasn't been to a birthday party so everyone already knows her true colors...so she can do whatever it is she feels the need to do.
I told my girlfriend that we should play a drinking game where every time BM: bitches, scowls, whines, degrades DH, or glares at me.....we take a drink. We'll be drunk within the hour.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
You just crack me up!
I think you are onto a new form of Margarita Supersoaker Therapy here!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Yet, another idea for camp.....
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
Oh and MY favorite birthday party BM story is....
BM had it written into their agreement that they would throw a joint birthday party out somewhere like Chuckie Cheese's, every year and DH had to pay for it. (Luckily that atty did put that everloving phrase "that both parties agree to ahead of time" in there so she wouldn't plan one of those parties on Sweet 16 reality tv.)
They did it the first year when they were still separated. BUT...as soon as I was around BM must have realized she forgot to add the "EX H will never bring another woman or his other children to the party" Clause because she never even brought up the party again.
It's been four years. She often promises some big tadoo, then never follows through. We have let SD have one sleepover the first year, my treat. The way she treats us now, SD will not have that privilage again. Besides the fact that at my NAMI class the juvenile court system speaker said, "Sleepovers are NOT for middleschoolers." And given the pranks SD's friends have been pulling all summer, I tend to agree with the professional on that one.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
BM's and their big promises..
SD11 was promised a horse once. (8 at the time) No, I'm not kidding.
We live in a city...with no horse pastures within a 30 mile radius.
I almost shot wine out my nose when she informed me of that one.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
How about add some hot sauce
to the mix and squirt it in her eye. I'm sorry we were discussing joint birthday parties not how to torture BMs. Wrong post. Disregard.
Step Mother's Motto this week is:
You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.
Am2uneek
That's cruel.
I would NEVER, NEVER waste margarita mix.
There are SMs out there who don't have margaritas at their skids birthday party.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
I am not having margaritas at my SD's bday parties..
Cuz they make me ill
but I find either WINE or PERCOCET is handy.
Not in combination of course!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
CG
Reaalllly good one. Yea, so change of plans. Save the margarita mix for the celebration and just add hot sauce in the super soaker. Problem solved, kill two birds (well at least blind a pigeon) and still have a drink to get a buzz.
Step Mother's Motto this week is:
You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.
CG
Girl you are bringing WAY too many memories back to the surface for me! My DH used to have the most insane birthday parties for my SD's...why? Because BM told him too
Well, that ended when we married.
Couple of good ones for you:
1) DH offered to pay BM for the birthday present for SD when she turned 4. What was it? A painting of a frog in a ballerina costume. Price? $300!
2) SD turning 8 had an oscar party. Thank God this was before me. Made real oscars from a trophy store, red carpet rolled out from sidewalk to house, limo picked up all the spoiled 8 year olds and their moms and took them for manicures and yes - 250 black and gold balloons. Price? $1,000
3) SD turning 3 had an animal party. (CG your horse story reminded me of this one). The zoo was brought to their house. Ponies, goats, chickens, looked like a real farm. Cowboy hats (real nice ones) given to all the kids and parents. Rented tables set up everywhere. Price? $1,000 I think... Oh, city house with NO backyard - just a little slab of grass.
Funny thing is DH doesn't "have money" - not sure about all these spending shennanigans but let's just say BM doesn't have any of the kids birthday parties anymore! Ours are sweet and simple - family parties with our immediate family and a few friends can spend the night with them. What's funny is they love it
Soak her butt!!!!
And send me the pictures!!!!
I have a bucket of frozen Margarita permanently in the freezer.
I just have to open the lid and scoop out a glassful of slushy "Forget About Your Nasty BM Instantly" mix.
Bliss.
I want to see the super soaker pictures too!
Hang on...
Isn't hOOters the place that has the topless waitresses?!?
nope
Hooters girls are just dressed in hot pants/Daisy dukes and tight little t-shirts with or without a bra.
Ok.
DH is booking his flight as we speak.
future hooters girl
Daddy's favorite restaurant, eh? lol
Gawd, that poor little girl is probably going to grow up thinking that this is what women are supposed to be.
Lighten Up...
They wear bras....geez, like I would take a 6 year old to a restaurant that allows girls to walk around in tight shirts without bras.
I'm not going to sit here and defend what my stepdaughters and my own two boys are going to grow up thinking about women. If a visit
to a restaurant that's theme includes the waitresses wearing skimpy clothes sets the standard of how they view woman...then I'm doing something wrong.
My kids are great. Thank you very much.
So I place upon my head my fingers shaped like a W to the likes of such an ignorant comment.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
CG Amen on that one!
Did someone think they were actually topless??
"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."
Dorothy Parker, 'But the One on the Right,' in New Yorker, 1929
US author, humorist, poet, & wit (1893 - 1967)
HOOTERS
hey I like hooters, and my sons used to go with me all the time!!
and they have a fine respect for women -
you co CG!
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
CG, how did it go?
Fabulous...
she had a great time.
The girls like the crab legs there.
Our waitress gave SD6 a shirt that said "FUTURE HOOTERS GIRL" on the front and "MAKING 'EM DROOL EARLY" on the back.
Sent SD to her mom's today wearing it. }:)
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
that is so awesome
you are my idol
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
LMAO
That's great!!!!
You realize
That shirt will probably never come back, right? Husband used to send SD to the pool with Marlboro towels. You know, the kind you got using points off the cigarette wrappers? Give the guy some credit, he stopped smoking when SD was 2 and had the towels already. But BM kept "making them disappear" when she picked SD up. I think we lost three or four that way before he just gave up and sent her with regular bath towels.
Oh well...
I wouldn't really care either way.
Not gonna lie, my intentions on the matter was definitely not the best of ones.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
Hey- is there a Hooters near SW's cabin?
Maybe we need a night out in the middle of camp???
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Oh CG.... you are so BAD ;)
I would like to see BMs face. But am ashamed to admit if my SD came home with one of those shirts it would not see the light of day. She had one that said, "I will not tease the boys I will not tease the boys" on it with the "not" part crossed out and we took it away. She's already in enough trouble with her short shorts, Tight low cut tops and triple padded bras.
I am a prude
But still like to think of you doing this to YOUR BM!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
I was just thinkin'
I can't wait to hang out with you more so I can remember to lighten up! I think the drama of the past four years has aged me considerably!
Hooters.
Hee hee hee...
I've never even been.
Though my pair would surely get me hired. Can't do short shorts though.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Have to share my little Hooters story...
So, January 2001 I started a new job and was sent to Long Island for 2 weeks of training. 2 other new hires went with me and we hung out together while there. During some free time we headed to an outlet mall and on the way back saw a Hooters - well the guy in the car just about went crazy, so we agreed to go for lunch. We went in, sat down, ordered, ate etc... and he looked so disappointed. I asked what was wrong, and he said "I feel so gipped! They're all a-cups with wonderbra's! and I walked in with the biggest set of hooters in the place! (said pointing at me!) The manager happened to be walking by during our discussion, and then came back to the table and gave me a tank top and told me to wear it later for my co-worker! We all had a good laugh over it.
All that aside, we took my kids to Hooters when my son turned 13 and he loved it. It wasn't a big deal, and he loved being fawned over by the waitresses. LOL.
Whats a spiderbite?
I drink tequila in shots with salt and lemon wedges. Its a great party starter
THE CLOSEST HOOTERS TO ME
THE CLOSEST HOOTERS TO ME HAS SOME HOTTIE...UGH WINGS- NO WE SERIOUSLY DO GO THERE, MY SON WILL BE ABLE TO GO WITH DAD THIS YEAR TOO, AND I CAN SAY THE KIDS SEE WORSE OUTFITS IN SCHOOL THESE DAYS. I LOVE THAT YOU SENT THAT SHIRT TO BMS HOUSE.
DON'T WASTE THAT MUCH MARGARITA MIX-GIVE HER ONE ... ADD VISINE TO IT AND SHE'LL SPEND MOST OF IT IN THE RESTROOM......IT'S MY FRIENDS IDEA FOR WHEN WE HAD TO HAVE BM AT ONE...
AS FOR THE "PROMISES"- THERE WAS DISNEYLAND WHEN SHE WAS 6, CHEERLEADING CAMP FOR 3 YEARS BEFORE WE DID IT, PARTIES, AND TOO MUCH TO THINK OF-BUT I THINK THE PONY TAKES THE PRIZE!
There is no reason where logic does not exist
Good Luck today, CG.....
Thanks for talking to me yesterday, man - was I having a bad day and of course, you helped. However, I haven't talked to him yet, but I'm gonna.
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!