UGHHHHHHHHH
Ok I am so tired of hearing "well she's 19 and too old to change now I can't do anything about it" everytime I tell my DH that I think the SD's behaviour is not acceptable in our house....One of these days I'm going to turn to him and tell him "Yeah well I'm older and harder to change so who do you think should modify their behaviour?" Geez this just ticks me off. That and when the kid was 18 months old some pediatrician told them she was lazy...so now everything is because she is lazy...I keep telling him she's only lazy because you let her be and stop using that as an excuse for her. Talk about enabling! There's never been any expectations for her except to be lazy so duhhhhhhhhhh what do you think she will be?
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First of all.. how does a
First of all.. how does a dr say an 18 month old is LAZY???? what the heck??
And if that was what was said, why let it continue. that isnt a free pass
Apparently it was because
Apparently it was because she wasn't walking yet at 18 months old...some things never change...she rarely walks at 19yrs old either!
There is a whole generation
There is a whole generation of kids being raised to think that it is perfectly acceptable to be lazy and that they are not to be held accountable for anything....
lol!
thats funny! did the dr really mean lazy, or maybe "slow"?
How can a baby be diagnosed
How can a baby be diagnosed as lazy??? It's a baby for christ sakes...
You just cracked me up...
You just cracked me up on how you responded to that....some things never change...she rearely walks at 19yrs old either.....OMG too dam funny!! Thx for the laugh!
Corie
Lazy baby
It's an old-timers term. Today you would probably be told that the child is developmentally delayed. It just means that the baby hasn't reached certain milestones - sitting, standing, speaking, walking, etc. - by a certain "acceptable" age range. Most of the time it's nothing and the kid catches up. Sometimes it can be a sign of future problems, such as learning disabilities. But if she has no physical, mental or learning issues, then I would say it's now the parents who are the lazy ones.
♥ Georgia ♥
"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)
Crayon, I think you hit the
Crayon, I think you hit the nail right on the head with that one. Being "just a kid" was never an acceptable excuse for me when I got to a certain age so why does it exempt these kids from any sort of responsibility - oh I know why - I was not a child of divorce and had 2 parents who taught me to take responsibility afor my actions....
i agree here completely
as a child of divorce and raised by a REAL single parent (no help or CS from dad EVER) like u were, i think my mom was actually tougher on me bc she didnt want me to use that as an excuse for being weak and disrespectful. and its bc i grew up the way i did, respecting adults, taking care of myself, not expecting anything to be given to me, that i was able to take care of myself when my mom died when i was 18. so i agree that these parents who are into PAS and guilt parenting really arent doing their kids any favors, in fact, they ARE making it worse for them down the line. these poor kids will grow expecting everyone to hand them everything and treat them like little princes and princesses, and we all know thats just now how the world works.
Something to think about
I'm so sorry you lost your mother at such a young age. That must have been very hard. And aren't you SO grateful that she taught you to be independent?
I think so many parents (including my husband) don't think long term. We don't live forever. What if something happens? Don't you want your children to be able to live independent lives and be functioning members of society?
thanks elizabeth
i honestly believe if my mom hadnt raised me to be so independent, i would never have made it after her death. im a survivor...and everything i have is my own. ive always been proud of that. im my moms daughter and i know shes proud of me.
Hold DH responsible for what he did
I haven't been on in a while, work is crazy busy. Things are getting better around the homestead, but this rang a bell. A few months back, after reading on here about disengaging, I thought I'd couple that with holding my DH responsible for the behavior of his kid. After all - he raised her! Why should I have to put up with a grown brat in my house when I have and had no say on why she is allowed to act that way?
It has been a very long time in coming, but things are easier around the house. Even so, currently, her room is a pig sty, and she hasn't emptied the diaper genie in a week (She has an 8 month old, and in keeping with the "rules" she is entirely responsible for the baby unless she specifically asks for help). We've had grand daughter duty a couple of times this past week - and guess what - DH gets to change the diapers because SD's room is such a stinking mess. The result - SD has had to clean her room because DH required it. DH can't stand it when he has to deal with a screaming baby or a stinking SD.
Since I've been told I am "mean" and poor old SD "doesn't need to deal with confrontation, because it is too hard on her" - I don't. BUT - I hold my DH responsible for the kid he raised and her behavior. It is slow, but it is working.
The funny thing is - they are actually happier. Go figure.
Georgia
I laughed when I read your old timers comment, because I knew exactly what it meant too.
But back to the point----your husband is enabling her laziness & your dissatisfaction. He's supposed to be waking up and asking himself "how am I going to make MY WIFE happy today", not his 19 year old daughter. He needs to read a book.