court tomorrow
FH and i will be heading to court tomorrow for the mtg after mediation. we have no idea whats going to go on bc they (FH and BM) didnt finalize...they had the beginning of a plan, except for the CS and then the next day BM said FSS15 was sexually abusing FSD. so FH is no longer agreeing to the terms, and we have no idea what BM is thinking. he left msgs for the mediator every day last wk telling her this and emailed several times and she never responded until friday when she email the propsed plan and said "i know u have questions, but we can go over it tues." wtf! so we dont know how/whats going to go on in front of the judge. we have no legal representation bc we cant afford one.
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Can you
Can you speak to the mediator prior to your case being called before the court tomorrow...just a thought. I would try going to court about 30 minutes early to see if you can meet with her then, so you have an idea on what you are facing once going before the court.
Good luck to you at such a stressful time!
Corie
thanks...we are stressed
just sitting here on pins and needles waiting to see how this all turns out. we have been very frustrated by the mediator. he has tried to call and email and has asked her to speak w him regarding what his next step is and she just hasnt. i know they are busy but its hard when theyre not devoting enough time to each case. she took all that time to write up that parenting plan for nothing bc hes not agreeing to it. and i know they have to report on what happened but thisi could have been worked out b4 going in tomorrow. at the actual mediation she told them they could meet w her again and then made it impossible to get anything changed. now we dont know what to do. court is for 8am, so we'll see what time she gets there
8 a.m.!!!
What time do your courts open up there....good gawd, that time in the morning for such an important thing!! Does the BM have representation, or is she self represented as well. Tell hubby to make sure that if he gets an opportunity to clearly state in court that the mediator told them both that she would meet with them prior, but did not....this might not do anything other then adjourn the matter to another day; but hopefully the judge will ask the mediator to go out and meet with both parties and try to come to a decision on things tomorrow and then get called back up.
I know exactly what you mean by sitting on pins & needles....it is the worst stress ever.
she has a lawyer
her mom pays for it and we cant afford one. the mediator met w them and they came to some agreement but then she started her bs again and he decided he cant live w those terms now. the mediator got back to him friday w the plan to look over and said that they could change it b4 they go in...great huh? im thinking all cases in MO are set for 8am but they take them in a certain order so he may not get heard until 10am,,,not sure though. FH doesnt want this to go another day, he wants it cleared up tomorrow. we have been sick over this mess and all the BMs bs for waaayyy too long. hubby has to go to the dr tomorrow bc of all the stress she has put him thru is causing physical symptoms now.
I hear ya...
Hubby has his set off until Sept now, but before that we were going to court every 8 wks for the past 2 years...just makes you sick. And the only thing it was over was child support..hubby was injured and had benefits only for so long...then they ran out, applied for disability and was accepted but it wasnt determined on an amount for the longest time.
The BM was a real bitch wanting doctors letter after letter each time, of course out of our pocked $. Finally they determined an amount and said they would revisit hubbys injury in Sept...thank GOD!!
glad you have a much needed break from court til then!
how do u even afford that?! i hate how some of these BMs only care about the money and not their kids. in our case, FH has been thru hell and back just to see his kid. she has been making our lives miserable for awhile and as if the constant unnecessary calls and texts werent enough, she lies about abuse in court docs too. he just cant live like this anymore.
Hey there- Did you all waive
Hey there-
Did you all waive confidentiality with the mediator?
If so, the mediator will be asked exactly what was said and by whom at court tomorrow. (well, they don't have to be asked, but the Judge will prob. give your hub a chance to speak, and he should point out all dates and times and bring the emails to the mediator with him. Bring anything having to do with anything.....he has the right to be heard in front of the court, even without an atty).
This mediator sounds like a fruit! Not getting with you guys, not answering emails and coming up with an agreement and then no one getting a chance to really tie anything up. There must be a reason why. Do you really think she is busy with another case or do you think that she is going to bring up what BM is saying now?
She will not be able to testify about anything unless both parties waived confidentiality. just so you know.
Good luck tomorrow morning-our BM has a parent-paid atty too, while we are stuck paying for ours and have been paying out the wing wang for the last 3 years. Can't afford it anymore and my hubby represented himself for a while too, and went to hearings alone.
What is your plan as far as what you guys want now? Just curious.
Hang in there.
dont hate us
but he wants to waive visitation and give her full legal custody. we have just been thru too much w her and her games and now w her saying that about his son, if she tries to pursue that, though its untrue, it could damage him immensely. she is one of the psychos, wish she wasnt really for everyones sake, and my FH doesnt ever see it ending, in fact shes gotten worse. we dont have the money to fight her, would never get full custody anyway, and he just cannot physically or emotionally handle dealing w her and her abuse anymore. we told the mediator what shes alleging now and she said theres nothing u can do, she can say whatever she wants at any time. they had a parenting plan in place, did it wo the courts, and then she filed a motion to modify based on the allegation that i abused FSD. the past 7 months have been a nightmare for all of us, and FSD has been in the middle of alot too. if there was a way to see FSD and not have to talk to BM AT ALL, we prob would, but it still leaves us all open for her allegations at any time. still, we're bringing everything, we have tons of documentation, and maybe the judge can help us.
thanks cru
the thing is that as bad as she is, as a mother AND a person, shes not bad enough to affect any change, ya know? he would never get custody and she has her sick way of twisting stuff to make herself look like the victim. its her word against his on alot of stuff. as for all the evidence we have, he couldnt use it in mediation and we just dont have the money or the energy to fight her in court. we did a lawyer consult and it got us nowhere.
This woman is obviously so
This woman is obviously so screwed up-I don't blame you guys at all.
There comes a point when you ahve to put yourselves first and this is one of those times, for you.
Sometimes there is nothing we can do. We all know what they do when they think no one is looking. Now you'll just have to find a way to let go and move on with your lives.
Let her live her life, to be honest with you I am guessing that she is miserable with you in it or without you in it.
Just the way these sickies are. Unfortunate for them. and the children they decide to drag through their insanity with them.
I also wish you had an attorney or a Dr to say whether the abuse really happened, that would have been very positive.
Let us know-
yeah she is
but it doesnt matter...we have to "suck it up and deal w it for SD" at least thats what the courts told us. he cant put his life first, he has to do whatever and put her first, even at the risk of his other son...wouldnt let him waive visitation and give her full legal custody, even though BM agreed to it. i dont know how they can force him to have custody and go thru all this hell thats she has put us thru, and esp now to my SS