when mediation fails
in our case, BM is crazy and we need to be able to have certain restrictions in place for her so we can have a peaceful life in order to see FSD. they agreed on some terms, but the circumstances have changed, ie she accused fiancees son of sexual abuse, so fiancee can no longer agree to the terms they came up w. we dont know whats going on in her head but we figure shes ready to take him to court. the mediator knows about the allegation and was supposed to talk to BM and get back to us and hasnt. we know BM will not agree to the new terms that we need to keep her in check. here comes the question...so the mediator will report to the judge next tues that they couldnt come to an agreement. if the judge sets it for court fiancee will have to represent himself bc we cant afford a lawyer. if they go to court, could judge rule any sort of visitation/custody that he or she sees fit, even if thats not what either parent wants? for example, could he order 50/50 time, even tho fiancee doesnt want that and neither does she?
we are just wondering the possible outcomes here...
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crazy BM
When I did research for FH most of the legal sites say that the father should always come with representation or he's pretty much up a creek...being realistic they'll probably side with her cause she's a "poor single mother" BARF...when they REALLY should be given the women a wake up call about their sick games they play to get their own way...I REALLY hope he gets an understanding, fair judge, because FH didn't in his case. GOOD LUCK!!
one more reason
why hes prob going to give up custody...dont have the money or emotional strength to fight anymore
unless she agrees - he can't
unless she agrees - he can't just "give up custody" he can elect not to take visitation but can't elect to not pay support anymore.
rite...thats what i meant!
no visitation and give up joint legal custody...of course he has to still pay cs
Well, not necessarily.
If the BM wants the $$$, then he'll have to pay, but if she just wants the kid and no strings attached, maybe she'll give it up. My ex-husband left when I was pregnant. I offered to waive CS if he would terminate his parental rights. He agreed. It was the best decision I ever made. I remarried three years later and my DH adopted my child.
It's true that you cannot voluntarily terminate your rights for purposes of getting out of paying CS, but you can, if both parties are amenable, agree to waive visitation, give up custody, agree to no contact directly or via third parties and agree to the adoption of the child by a future stepparent in exchange for the other parent waiving CS. That's what we did.
As far as what a judge will order, I doubt he would order 50/50 if both parents agree that BM will have primary placement. They are there to settle disputes and if custody is not disputed, they're not going to create conflict where none exists.
♥ Georgia, the un-stepmom ♥
"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)
she wants cs
she only had the kid to earn a paycheck, trust me. its a really sad situation. she definitely wants him to not to see her, shes made that abundantly clear. she even once told him she would pay him to get out of her life! all he ever wanted from day one was to see her, be responsible for her and support her. and she has made his life a living hell for it.