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trying to work everything out

smurfy1smile's picture

Submitted by smurfy1smile on Thu, 03/27/2008 - 4:48pm

BF and I are working together to make proposals to BM regarding parenting time, custody and child support. BF sent one first and BM took 3 weeks to respond and the proposal stated respond in 10 days. BM's proposal was for the most part the same as BF's except for a few items. Both BF and BM agreed to try to work those things out via email. There DD states they have to try to work it out before they go to mediation and if that does not work then court. BF is trying to take one item they disagree on at a time and work though each one individually. Asking BM's reason(s) for not wanting this item or for changing it to her liking. ex: Parenting time for baby until age one would be Sunday from 12pm to 4pm and Wed from 5pm to 8pm. This would give BF time 8 times per month with BS. At age one would begin 1 overnight every other weekend and at 18 monthes going to the whole weekend EOW. Then Sundays would end. BF wants to keep the Wed so he still gets to see his son 6 times per month. BM wants to end the Wed time when BS is 1. Neither of us thinks this is fair or reasonable. So BF asked BM for her reason(s) for wanting to end the Wed. Now we are waiting for her reply.

BM also state in her last email that she wants to get this all resolved but does not want to drag this out much longer. This is the same woman who dragged her divorce out for 4 more months (November)than needed and ended up agreeing to the offer BF gave her in April and July.

Any advise?

Comments

Colorado Girl's picture

Submitted by Colorado Girl on Thu, 03/27/2008 - 5:01pm

stay the same as well.

I know that the "standard" EOW schedule has one night on the off week that the NCP spends with the child. That way they get parenting time EVERY week with the child. Even if it's not an overnight. Who cares about a couple of hours during the week when you get to have that child the WHOLE weekend?

"For every ailment under the sun
There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it;
If there be none, never mind it." W.W. Bartley

Colorado Girl's picture

Submitted by Colorado Girl on Thu, 03/27/2008 - 5:27pm

Good idea... Smile

"For every ailment under the sun
There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it;
If there be none, never mind it." W.W. Bartley

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Fri, 03/28/2008 - 2:08pm

That is what our attorney has said. It's like an offer and a counteroffer. Eventually, you hope to meet somewhere in the middle.

With a baby, you need to be in their life regularly or they won't know/understand who you are. My husband got 50/50 custody of SD when she was 2 and their divorce was final.

It was a weird arrangement: Tuesday and Thursday one week, the Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday the next week. This ensured that SD didn't go more than three days without seeing a bioparent. It stayed this way until SD was 9 and they changed to one week with one parent, one week with the other.

At a minimum, you would want to get at least one day every week, plus every other weekend. You could ask for, say, Tuesday and Thursday every week and EOW. Then settle for Wednesday every week and EOW. Or something like that.