I hate more than anything you are going through this. Unfortunately I do not have advise, only support. We are here to listen and offer what we can during this difficult time for you. Good luck!

and it IS hard. But Blueberry's Baby, it's worth it. He is amazing and I think everything happens for a reason.

I say move forward without him, and do what's best for YOU and that little life inside you. If he comes....then so be it. If not, his loss.

You ARE so special after all and please don't let him convince you otherwise. He sounds like a loser and his lack of concern and attention is only a reflection of himself...not you.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Anyone can read your ability to love in your words.
It is his actions that dispicable and weak,
but how you react can only prove more how SPECIAL you are.

Have faith that the right thing will happen. Take care of you and your baby. It will all be ok.

"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil

You will know when you've had enough and call it quits for good. I know what it's like to have someone dangle that proverbial carrot in front of your nose. They say and do things that leave you doubting the marriage will work, yet just enough to keep you hanging on. You keep hoping and praying only to be disappointed time and time again. You berate yourself for being the world's biggest fool, for putting up with all the crap, for continuing to hold out hope. We know that the way they treat us isn't right yet we continue to come back for more because we truly love them. My ex did this to me and like you, I started to believe that I just wasn't good enough, I wasn't important enough for him to do right by me. It was hard to see it back then but I see it clearly now: it wasn't me, it was HIM.

It took a long time for me to believe that I deserved to be special, to be loved and cherished for the person I am. Many nights I cried and prayed to God that if I am truly deserving of love, send that person into my life. Well, He did. I am happily remarried. My husband is everything I ever wanted in a husband, my marriage is everything I had hoped for. My husband lets me know every day how important I am to him. This marriage seems almost effortless, whereas in my first marriage I felt as though I was constantly fighting for my ex to participate.

I don't consider my first marriage to be a total failure because I learned so many lessons over that 20 plus years. Maybe those were the lessons I was supposed to learn to prepare me for this marriage.

So, it's okay to have hope, but keep hoping for what's right for you.

You are not stupid by any means. You are very special and you deserve to be happy along with the little muffin in your oven. You do have the guts to cut him off, you just don't realize it. You also don't have to "be the BM embroiled in custody issues for the next 21 years" because you're better than that. If he's treating you this badly now, do you really think it's going to improve? By being single, there's a plan for you in the making and it's probably bigger than you can see right now. Take this little angel and move on to a better place. You can do it.

We all have lessons to learn. Sometimes we need to be alone to learn these lessons. It's important to trust the process and the journey-you never know where it can lead you.

Even if he has a smile that could stop crime, dump him. Even if his smile is warm enough to bake bread, dump him. If you stay with him and take him back even after all the misdeeds he has committed, what you're really doing is, you're emotionally blackmailing yourself into staying with him even though you know he's Mr. Wrong Forever. All his promises are just lip service. Despite how hard it is to break up with this asshole, think about how hard it is to stay with one! You have the power to leave, it's just really scary to assert this option...I've been there. If you don't move on, you are underestimating YOUR VALUE by taking a lot of crap from someone who obviously doesn't respect you.

He is a loser. He doesn't deserve anything more from you; you've turned yourself inside out and he still doesn't get it. You can do it being a single mom...yes, it does feel overwhelming but remember, God doesn't give us more than he thinks we can handle. So, I think God is trying to tell you that you CAN do this and this little seed in your belly is a gift from him so that you can get away from the moron who doesn't deserve to be a father and a husband to your baby and to you. You don't need a man to take care of you; you can do it all on your own, you just have to believe that you can. You especially don't need this man in your life because all he brings to the table is pain and he certainly doesn't make you feel good about yourself. He also lies to you like he breathes...it's second nature to him and he obviously doesn't think there's anything wrong with it or he would stop doing it. You can do so much better. He's also doing all these stupid things because he feels he can still get away with it. Not anymore! By giving his sad ass the boot and removing yourself from him and his pathetic life, he'll realize at some point that he really screwed up. Then again, he might not ever figure it out and he might just go along like this for years. But the good thing is, you don't have to be affected by it and his constant lies and cheating. You don't seriously want to be with someone like that anyway, am I right? He is a boil on the butt of humanity, right? Right.

On a personal note, I had my 4th child a couple of years before I divorced and I've only started to realize now, years later, that she was to me and my ex, an unspoken and ill-considered last attempt to force a bond where there no longer was one...that's hard to swallow because she is the most precious thing in the world to me and I can't imagine not having her in my life, but my point to you is, don't stay in this marriage because of the baby because eventually, and quite possibly, he may resent you for it. Just something to consider. My marriage, if I could call it that, less a nurturing partnership than a convenient way to split a mortgage, had been unhealthy, unbalanced and unhappy for years. I am so happy to be on my own and I never thought I would ever say that.

Off my soapbox I go...you are wonderful and you can do it! We all think you can do it!

We never know how resilient we are until we must be so. I will tell you the six years I spent as a single mom were some of the darkest, toughest, yet most empowering and spiritually evolving years of my life.

And once you've proven you can take care of yourself and your child, you will never settle for someone not worthy of all you have to offer again!

Peace, love, and red wine

I am glad that you are able to relate to what I said. My intentions were only good and although you say it made you cry, I sense that it was a good cry and not one that made you feel worse.

You need to stand up to the temptation to stay. It's hard to leave and I will never say it's an easy decision, ever. But we tend to gravitate to the familiar and change scares the ever living shit out of us. Don't feel bad for not being able to make a final break just yet...you're human and you can't just drop everything and walk away. You can't just turn off your emotions like a light switch. If only it were that easy.

When my ex cheated on me, and I knew he was lying about it although I never confronted him (I just knew and as I've said before, I have physical proof of it) but I guess the silver lining in that if he could lie to me, he will certainly lie to the next one, and the next one and so on and so on and so on. It's my theory that men who cheat are literally on the lookout for something better and are keeping their options open. For the married man who cheats, it's easier to take a lover and lie his pants off (quite literally) than to try and work on the existing problems he and his wife have. That's why he's with the mistress in the first place, so he won't have to do any of the hard work required to make it a working partnership where there is love and respect for each other. Your H's MO doesn't have your best or even your worst interest at heart. So basically, he doesn't deserve anything from you...even your love. He is a weak coward your husband. Of course this is easy for me to say it because I'm on the outside looking in. I'm not inside your heart. But I know exactly how it feels. And it sucked for a long time but I got through it even though I can compare this life experience to having a really bad car accident every single day for about 4 years. You did not make him the asshole he is, he did that all on his own. He is showing his true colors bearing no resemblance, I'm sure, to any rainbow you've ever seen...

Put yourself first, then the little miracle growing inside you and this will work out for you; you will be better than okay. Chin up girl! We love you!

MJ24