GREAT NEWS
I am having a baby!!!!!!!!!!!YIPE!!!!!!!! We have not told ss yet we are giong to wait until I am at least 3 months before we tell him. We are just trying to get ajusted to the idea of more than one child in this house. I am or course not breathing a word of this to bm who will stress me out. So as of now mum's the word, with a few exceptions. So someone tell me what it will be like with a bio-child and ss. What kind of problems will I face???:)
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Don't worry
For right now... A big Congratulation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Take each step as it comes. Enjoy your pregnancy.
I'm very happy for you. We be here for you.
Jo
Children rivalry of course
NCP should have rights too! But that will come as they get older, no matter what the age difference. Be aware, as soon as bm does find out your and DH will be having a baby, this will become an emotional weapon for her to use on the ss. I can almost guarantee bm will let ss know that his daddy has replaced him, that daddy has a new family now and possibly make a point of letting ss know that the unborn child IS NOT his brother/sister...only half.The best thing for you and DH to do is take ss the whole way through the pregnancy as much as possible, to ultrasounds( so he can see his baby brother/sister), talk about how much the baby is going to love his/her big brother and how no matter what anyone tells him, he will always be loved by you and DH and always be a part of this new family.The worst thing you can do is get upset at any jealousy ss might exhibit, know that ss is just needing reassurance as to his position in the family...and btw, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!
Our plan
We plan on taking him to EVERY appointment. We have also sat him down when we were just talking about a baby. We have also told him the normal stuff like you are going to be a big brother and this baby will love you more than you will imagine. We have also told him that just because there will be a new baby does not mean that we don't love you because we do.
Congrats!
Try not to worry about the problems you will face. Just enjoy the moment for a minute!
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Congrats!!!!!!!
It's all about you now.....don't let BM stress you out; thats the last thing you need....Enjoy your pregnancy and the bonding time with your unborn child....
Problems?
The only problem I can foresee is backlash from the BM, but it sounds like you're already expecting that. That was the worst of it for us. The kids were great, really excited to be getting a new baby brother or sister. The one neat thing about it for us was that the new baby tied all of us together. I mean, I had a child from a previous marriage and my husband had three. We got married and we were all "step" related, but having the baby together gave us all a connection that went beyond the step thing. I actually felt like it bonded me to my skids, once I'd carried and given birth to their little sister.
CONGRATULATIONS! (I'm so jealous!)
~ Anne ~
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Congratulations
I wish I was able to have a baby with my new partner, we often talk about what kind of parents we would have made together. He has 3, I have 3. We are way past anymore children.
SO ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY
Congratulations..
Congratulations...
Happy
" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..
Happy " make sure you tell
Happy
" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..
THANKS TO ALL
THANK YOU TO ALL, YA'LL MADE MY DAY
I couldn't be happier for you
I agree with all the ladies who say don't worry and enjoy your pregnancy. However, speaking from current experience (I'm due in mid July :))do be prepared for some jealousy. My best advice is not to react negatively to the jealousy and continue to involve SS.
When I posted about my concerns on this subject it was very helpful for me to hear that no matter what you tell kids, until you prove it through actions they may not believe you. We have been telling my SD that she will still be special and have time alone with us since we told her about the baby, but she has already been through new siblings at BM's house and doesn't believe that it will be any different at our house. So until we show her that she is will still be valued after the baby is born she isn't going to 100% believe anything we say. She is older (11) so this may not be an issue for you.
Another thing I would suggest is letting SS buy a special present for his new brother/sister and also buying him a special new brother present. And take the good with the bad. When we told SD about the new baby and asked her how she felt, she told us that honestly she was probably going to go back and forth, and boy has she. Some weekends she doesn't want to talk about it at all and others she gets very excited. I just found out this weekend that she was talking about her new brother while she was at a family gathering with BM's relatives. She was discussing with some adults whether or not the baby would look like me or her dad. She is hoping her dad, b/c she looks like her dad so they would look alike. It made me so happy to hear that but I can just imagine what some of BM's relatives were thinking.
Prepared
I am prepared for the fight, my ss has 2 other brothers & 1 sister with BM. So like your sd he did the sibiling thing too. he was okay with all the babies except the sister. She took the spot light. But so far he is all right with it, I am sure as the months go by(which I am praying go FAST!!) that he will start to resent the baby. This baby is the only other child from DH, ss has been an only child on our end for 10 years so I am expecting all hell to break loose EVENTUALLY. The only one I am worried about is BM trying to squirm her way into this pregnancy some how. I am sure shewill grill ss the minute he walks in the door from doctor appts.,and shopping trips. I just have to remember that I can not get upset anymore, which for me will be extremely hard!!! But I will just try to breathe and walk away!!
CONGRATS!!!
I am so happy for you!!! I think that is great how you are involving SS.... I did the same thing with my BS, and he still to this day refers to his (now almost 6 year old sister) as "my baby"..... I think it is so important to give your SS an important role in the new baby's life.... Good for you! By the way, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE babies!!! If you're ever in the Seattle area, let me know! I'll be the best babysitter you ever had!
how exciting
I'm expecting as well. We just told SD5 and she is as thrilled as we are. BM was cordial, but I'm sure she has mixed feelings about it. My only advice is to enjoy it. Our home life has been magical since we announced the big news and I agree with other posters that the baby seems to be bonding us together more tightly as a family. Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Don't worry about BM...this is your time and you and DH should enjoy it. I am so happy for you!
marika
Congratulations...
I don't have much advice on this, so take it from the other ladies... congratulations! Enjoy it, don't stress it, ignore BM.
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...