I have tried really really hard not to moan and b*tch too much in my time here, but tonight I REALLY need someone to either talk me down or build me up, I don't care which. I'll listen either way.

I'm sure you all know there's always a constant stream of events and actions that happen in our lives that just really tick off. From bad hygiene to choices in hair or makeup, but when you add those things on top of something that hits you harder, you just break. And that's where I am now. Geez, now where to start....

I have a fairly nice home, not fancy by any means, but enough room for my large family (though I didn't know I was going to need it when I bought it!) It's old and things need TLC, and that's something the kids won't learn. I didn't have any trouble when it was myself and my two girls. They were typical kids, with messy rooms and me nagging to clean up after themselves. But the steps are another story. The moment they arrived, I realized they were seriously lacking in certain skills, everything from never brushing their teeth, hardly ever changing their underwear, and making 'messes' in the bathroom...and walking away for someone else to clean it up. The youngest at the time was 6, and the oldest 11. The same ages as my two girls, and they were never nearly as bad. I hoped that with patience and teaching, and the influence of my kids around them, they would learn better habits. But the opposite has happened! All six are so destructive, that my poor house is falling down around us as they knock out windows, kick in doors, tear off paneling and molding, soak the old wood floors... you get the picture.

Most people stay the stupidest thing to me: "They're just kids". I HATE that! They are now 10, 10, 12, 13, 14, and 15. In my point of view, only 3 of them are 'kids', and the rest are young adults! No, I do not expect them to behave as adults, I do not expect them to take on adult responsibilities, but I do expect them to have SOME responsibility. Even the 3 younger ones should have more respect for their home, and family, than to treat it this way. I have very clear chores delegated, and have been told that I expect "too much". So first, what is your opinion? Am I really asking too much?

Child 1: Wash, dry, put away dishes, clean sink area.
Child 2: Clean kitchen counters, sweep kitchen, take out kitchen trash
Child 3: Take out trash from the rest of the house
Child 4: Clean children's bathroom (they have their own that no one else uses)
Child 5: Clean laundry Room (cat litter box, fold and put away towels after I wash them
Child 6: Vacuum foyer and hallway by kid's bedrooms, clean kitchen island

On top of this, each of them is responsible for cleaning their own bedrooms, getting their dirty laundry to the laundry room, and putting away clean laundry. We often alternate dinner cooking between myself and the 3 oldest. And the chores alternate between them regularly. I have experimented with everything from daily (too hard to keep up with), to monthly, which is where we are now. I think monthly is great. You should know by day 3 of the month what your chore is. And you only have to do dishes once every six months! That's the one they complain about the most.

The chores are posted on the refrigerator, and I have even gone so far as to include exactly what I expect from that particular chore because they just won't do them. (Do I really have to spell out the fact that you take the trash out before it is overflowing, or that "clean" dishes don't have food stuck to them? yes...I do) It's so frustrating!

I THOUGHT I was helping them learn responsibility and home skills.

um...I got off my original topic....
anyway, one of the reasons my home is so important to me is because of my 'past life'. My ex-h became a manipulative drug addict on good days, and a mean drunk on bad ones. I spent 12 years with no security, and no home of my own. Buying this house was the biggest step I took to getting my life in control. And I swore that no one would lay a hand on me or my kids, or lie to me, or steal from us again. And one or more of the kids in my own home is doing just that: lying and stealing. It rips my heart out, and I'm sitting here typing through tears. All of my collector coins are gone. But it's not just 'big' stuff, it's every day little stuff, things that are MINE. that they know are MINE. And the principal behind them stealing from me, and lying to me about it, and about so much other stuff...it's killing me. I want so badly to just dump the whole lot on the doorstop of the juvenile detention center. To have an officer come over and read them the riot act. SOMETHING. anything.... what do i do?