I've had fear that BM would find this site and figure out that I am me...and that I'd hear things from her either in the form of anonymous responses (something she loves to do on other sites that I'm a member of) or emailing me to give me a piece of her mind. She has it set in her brain that I shouldn't be allowed to talk about her or her son to ANYONE regardless of whether they even know who she is or not. I respect her privacy and her right to lean on her friends for support, even if it is about me, but she does not feel that I deserve that same priveledge.

The difference with this site versus my personal blogs and journals is, none of you guys here know me from Eve. You don't know how old I am, where I live (except Dawn), or who my BF is. I don't talk about my personal likes and dislikes or what I do in my free time. All of these things are identifying factors. I don't give details about those things because while I come here for support, too much information could mean people who I don't want to know I'm here finding me. I'm not saying that you're doing anything wrong, but perhaps you could try to start over and change your story a bit so that it's not so easy for someone to pinpoint you. The way I see it, there are hundreds of thousands of people out there going through the same thing I am, and if I keep things just anonymous enough, it would be impossible for someone to really know it's me. Not to mention, new people join this site every day with their own stories, so there's no way they'd know you made a transition.

Anyways, just food for thought. I'd really hate to see you go.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

apd, I am in a position where my in-laws would love to hang me by a burning cross. They have made ficticious, negative, deceitful statements about me, and my involvement with my dh (prior to us getting married). They went as far as to list themselves as character witnesses for my dh's ex gf when we were petitioning my dh's parental rights over ss. Yes, that is right, my mil told the ex gf she would testify on gf's behalf that she should have custody rather than the stable home we were providing...(yeah forget ss's teeth were rotting out of his mouth...the simple fact that their son was dating someone he was happy with was enough for them to put on a tremendous crusade to fight against my relationship with dh). Crazy right?

I have been physically assaulted, emotionally assaulted, and even had drugs planted in my car, and 911 was called from a pay phone across the street from my place of employment...that caller said that I just tried selling drugs to a 10 year old boy. This has all been done my dh's crazy family members (female family members).

I share this with you why? Anonymous or not, we at some point in our lives have to learn to pick and choose who we are going to place value in. For instance, my mil was a sabotager (she has passed away), I knew this, so when our wedding came around, I didn't worry about her negative comments she was making prior, during, and after the wedding, I enjoyed the wedding as if she were happy:) My sil, is a sabotager, so when she calls me up trying to instigate a fight, I don't place value in her opinion b/c she creates drama to entertain herself.

If people are posting to you trying to get you to breakup with bf, ignore those posts, or private messages just like you would if someone was telling you to their face. In fact there are a couple of people here that post regularly that I just can't understand what they are trying to communicate, imo they are "batting in right field" so for the most part I ignore their comments b/c I just don't place value in their "opinion".

Sweetheart, we have enjoyed your presence at this site, and I speak for myself, I would like for you to stay, and you just might need to toughen up your skin, and let those negative comments be like water on a ducks back....

Take if from someone who has to do it in person, not just with the ex, but dh's son and family..

I hope you stay:)

no comment

I'm sorry that you are being harrassed. That certainly isn't right. I have to say is that I usually pick and chose, depending on my mood, and just ignore most posts that I feel are in accurate, I don't agree with, or just mean in some way... if someone is hostile towards me, I certainly will just move on. (But there are a few occasions that I just have to stand up and say something.)

I for the most part, try to give constructive feedback whenever I can, and I try to do so with a little humor. So many of us need that these days, and if we're hanging around here, we're here for the same thing in one way or another. So, please don't feel threatened from someone elses views or opinions... after all it is just that. If people are sending you unpleasant private messages is there a way to 'block' them? I'm not sure about that, or maybe like someone else suggested, just create a new account?

I agree with Candice and especially SympatheticBioDad on this. I'm very careful about what I say, and I often review my posts before I "officially" post it. I chose this site because it is very private and I like the way people use DH, SS, BM, BF, etc etc, in place of names, made up or not, for privacy. Hang in there. And keep coming back! ;0)

My opinion on the internet is this: it's the public domain. If you don't want people privvy to it, then don't post it on the internet. If it's on the internet and you're interested in checking it out, then go right ahead. The internet is part of the public domain and no place to record private thoughts. Now, if Step Mom had hacked into this woman's computer and read her private offline journal, broke into her house to browse through her personal writings or impersonated someone else on these other websites were the BM posted to try to draw out BM's innermost thoughts, well, then that would be crossing a line. But there's not a thing wrong with googling someone and anyone who has a problem with being googled shouldn't even maintan an internet presence, in my opinion.

~ Anne ~

I have to agree. It is public domain. IT's like standing on the side of a highway..with a big poster board sign....then blaming the X for driving by and seeing it. Once you put it 'out there' .... its' there for anyone and everyone to see as they drive by the information highway!

I realise that this site is annonymous...by a believe only to a degree. No-one who doesn't know my story intimately will know who I am.....but there are many..who would recognise the 'characters in my story' and figure it out...if they already knew me.

I do realize that.

I don't think you have to stop posting all-together...just be careful....

I HAVE ABSOLUTLY SO WORRY ABOUT MY SS MOTHER FINDING THIS SITE, IN FACT IT MIGHT BE A GOOD THING. I DON'T SAY ANYTHING HERE THAT I WOULDN'T SAY TO HER DIRECTLY.
I AM SORRY THAT YOU ARE LEAVING APD. I HOPE THAT YOU CAN FIND ANOTHER PLACE TO GO FOR SUPPORT AND UNDERSTANDING.

There are a lot of assumptions and accusations flying around on here. Everybody has opinions on this issue.....that's fine. They are just that.......opinions!

Yes, the internet is public. This website is about as private as you make it. Like Sympatheticbiodad said, as long as you don't use real names of people, etc. it would be hard to find. I don't see any problems with people googling other people. Whatever. I can only speak for this site. I don't know if other sites say the are completely private or not.

Now, all anonymous comments must be approved by me. Yes, there have been some that disagree with some of the posts but none of them have been vicious or violent or they would not have gotten approved. You must be a user to send private messages. If ANYONE has been receiving private messages that are inappropriate please send ME a private message and I WILL take care of it.

Darn, I didn't check this site much yesterday because I was at my 93 year old Grandmother's Christmas party at her assisted living home and I come back to find this hornet's nest. I'm glad I had a good day with my Grandmother. She really liked the gift I gave her!

Everybody, take a deep breath and count to 10 please!!

Dawn

you know everyone has there right to come here and vent and say what they want. If we did not want feedback whether negative or positve we would not post here. No matter what your situation is.. you will be ok. Don't leave us.. You are like part of our little family we have created. I know I post a lot of the same things and I get post from people that may not be what I want to hear and I too at times can be pretty harsh but its ok. Its like the saying
"Opinions are like asswholes and everybody has one"... Ok..
Don't leave here.. Everyone has issues and stuff and people who may always look happy may not truly be happy.. We will miss you if you go.. You are a strong lady and you should show your strength. Stay with us..