I guess for me and my ex it was not an issue because he did not get a GF till this year. So when we got a divorce I kept his last name for our children. I got married this July and took my new husbands last name. I guess I wish that his ex would meet someone and change her last name just because.. But it doesn't really bother me.. I just figure it has to bother much more to see my name as his because I am the new wife and she is the old. Plus she wanted him back so I think of it as a slap in the face to her..
Maybe rethink that.. You are essentially slapping her in the face by taking his last name.. Out with the old and in with the new..

My husband and his ex were never married so she never was Mrs. xxxxx. I am sure she really hates the fact that whenever she goes to something at school she puts her name down and then has to also put that she is stepson's mother because you couldn't prove it by the name. Of course, at biomom's house, she has one name, stepson has a different name and then her two year old has biomom's current/ ex-boyfriend's name. How will she keep it all straight if she has anymore kids or gets married to another guy?!!

Dawn

My husband was never married to girl who had his son. It was a one night thing. But we are now facing a different problem. SS took his moms last name. My husband was sooooo angry about this back then. Well now we have a son who of course has our last name. SS asked me the other day why he has his mom's name and why dylan has dads name. I wonder if this hurts him. I mean how do you explain this? I just said that his mommy chose his name and that it is a really great name.

I am kind of on the same page as Fearless, I kept my ex-husbands last name out of laziness, not wanting to change everything at work and at home. We did not have children, but I imagine that I would not have done it because of them either.

On the other hand, I would hate it if his ex had his last name. I do not know why, maybe a jeolous thing. I did it, but I would not like it if she did it. Stupid, but true.

I can't wait to get rid of my x's name!! I didn't want it in the first place.... I liked my own last name..it was 'normal'. His parents are immigrants and I've had to spell his name out every, single time, I've said it ...for tooooooooo many years.

It took me a year after I was married to change my ID..bank accounts etc..to his last name. He called work looking for me one time and asked for "*** ****"...my married name..they said they didn't know me. Then a light-bulb went on and he asked for "*** ***" my maiden name...... and they got me!

He was soooooooo mad!! I tried to convince him to take my name..before we got married...so he knew I didn't like his name...but he couldn't believe I was still using my maiden name after a year!!!!

But you know......I think if I liked the name....say it was reversed...and I started out with a stupid sounding maiden name....(like myra mains..or something (ha ha that's bad..I'm tired!)) I may want to keep my new one. Not anything to with x or attachment to him etc....just a better name!

Sorry Happy Mom.....

Did she have a stupid mainden name? (My hubby's x does...she kept his last name)

I can't wait to get rid of my ex's last name either. I know the annoyance of always having to spell out the last name since my maiden name is very 'normal' as well, no one ever asked me how to spell it! I am struggling with the fact that I won't have the same last name as my kids but it's not worth keeping his name just for that fact. My fiance hates the fact that I still have ex's last name but it is only for a few more months. Once I made a dinner reservation in my last name and he refused to go until I changed it to his name! After we are married I suppose I might take his last name but in some ways I feel like this will alienate my kids since fiance, son, SD, and I will all have the same last name and theirs will be different. I am still debating wether or not to keep my maiden name after we are married.
His ex changed to her maiden name right after their divorce. I think it would bother me a lot if she still had his last name. So, I feel for you there. Some women do keep ex's name just because it is the same as their kids and it lessens confusion.

When they were married, my fiance's ex used her last name followed by his last name, no hyphen. The day she kicked him out of their house 3 1/2 years ago, she changed her name back to just her maiden name.

My stepdaughter has her mother's and father's name with no hyphen, just like her mother used to have, her father's name being her surname and mother's name middle. Her mother now likes to conveniently leave out her father's name and uses her own surname as stepdaughter's last name. This has got to be so confusing for the poor kid. Her own NAME is a source of argument, manipulation, mixed loyalties, hurt and pain. She's old to enough to know what it's all about; she's in the 6th grade.

I've been in the picture for 2 years and now that we're engaged, the ex has started tacking on his last name again and introducing my fiance to parents at my stepdaughter's school as "her husband" while I stand there like a deaf mute. Their divorce is not final because although she couldn't wait to slam him with divorce papers at first, she slammed on the brakes when I came along. She even tried to bar me from my stepdaughter's school, claiming that I have no legal relationship with her kid because they're still married!! A whole other story, that one.

Anyway, we've had our share of horrible name games. The worst is using it to make a dig at your ex, at the expense of your child. She's abhorrent.