Feeling very much like an outsider..this week
This has been a funny week between hubby I & SD..
SD & I have been getting along fine and there has been no arguing or issues between hubby & I...but something is off.
Last week Hubby & I decided to not go to the Eastern Canadian softball tournament out of province..that we would take a couple days for ourselves instead maybe rent a cottage for the weekend. (He kept asking me if we're going..you decide..it didn't matter to him either way.)
Well SD wants to go....soooo...regardless of "our" decision/discussions... I guess SD & he have since decided that they are going after all...whether I go with them or not.
Also last night..he was supposed to go to a quick meeting after the game..told the vice president of the association that he would be there....but at the game SD asked him to go motorbiking..so he blew off the meeting and went with SD instead.
Last Saturday SD's ball coach died suddenly at age 49....his funeral was yesterday..hubby & SD & her fiance went..I was not asked to go.
I am sick this week and most likely wouldn't have gone anyway..but I think that was my decision to make.
Maybe the sudden death of this man has done something to the father-daughter dynamic this week.....
I am very much feeling like the outsider.....
- lovin-life's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I feel for you..
I have to ask "have you talked to him"? I know its way easier to just deal with your feelings on your own. I try to talk but sometimes it just seems it causes more problems then its worth.
I can understand why you would left out and hurt. You are married to this man and he needs to include you in on everything, and then let you decide..
I know two wrongs don't make a right.. But you can do this to him as well. After work one of these nights ask one of your friends to meet you somewhere for dinner and then go. Do to him what he has done to you. Just so when you go to talk about it you can give him the example of how you feel.
I wish you luck in getting thru this. Its very difficult..
no comment
no comment
I hate the "outsider" feeling.
I know what this like. The only thing you can do is explain this to your husband and hopefully he'll give the next "activity" / "events" more thought. He probably isn't even thinking. Which is very man-like. No matter how wonderful they are.
lovin-life....
Maybe husband thinks that you don't want to be around w/stepdaughter? Talk to your husband tell him how you feel and felt after what has happened. Ask him why don't they include you? Yes...ask him straight out. Tell him that I hope you don't feel that I don't want to be around your stepdaughter. (do you or not?) My husband used to think that I hated his stepson because I was always scolding him (for good reasons of course) but he always had that thought in his mind for years and he would go do stuff w/just his son and not even ask me too. Then one day we got into an argument about that and I told him that I didn't hate his son at all. So today we do stuff together.
-happy mom
Happy Mom..
I just have to say I think you should have like a radio show to help woman and men for that matter. You have a lot of insight on every situation, or at least it seems.. Its wonderful. You gave me advice about my son. And so tonight while all the girls in the house have friends over I think him and I will do something. Tomorrow morning my husband and I are taking him (by himself) fishing. So that should be a lot of fun.
Anyways I just wanted to let you know that I think you are a very nice and insightful woman..
No I didn't talk to him
No I didn't talk to him about it....(although I know your probably right.) Every time I mention anything that has SD's name attached to it..he gets rediculously defensive. I'm just not up to the fight I know it'll cause.
Also, the last time I discussed an issue with him about oldest SD, he ran right back to youngest SD with the all details of our private conversation. Like Happy says..it just seems to cause more problems than what it's worth.
He and SD are gone .,..my kids are away. Our plans together for this weekend just kind of faded away..
So I'm here alone ... hurt and pissed!!
SD says JUMP ...he says HOW HIGH??? Just like the X wife used to do
no comment
no comment
I feel Your Pain, sister!
My DH just came back from having a small birthday gathering for SS, SD and chaperones (he only has supervised visitation due to trumped-up charges pending w/ ex). I was not included and I thought I was fine with it. But it just dawned on me that this is the second year in a row that "secret" birthday plans were made and I wasn't included or told about them until the last minute. The kid is a little demon but my DH could have asked and let it be my decision. ARRGGGHHHHH!!!!!