I can't stand my step son
I don't even know where to start.I have a stepson that i cannot stand. He is 8yrs old. He never listen to me. When I tell him not to do something or to do something as simple as him having to wear pants on a day that is chilly instead of shorts he says "my mommy lets me wear shorts". It's a constant go to sayimg with this kid. I can't take it anymore and ive told him several times that im not his mommy and this isn't his mommy's house this is my hpuse and my rules but it doesn't matter. But anyways. I am the one who takes care of him most of the time. I have him all week. I take him & pick him up from school everyday. I make sure his lumch is packed and his homework is done. He gets in trouble and pulls multiple sticks at school. He won't ever be still. He has all the symptoms of a child that has ADHD.. but i cannot get his mother to agree that he needs to be tested for it. We have tried every thing to get this child to stop (in my words) from acting crazy. His father and i have tried takimg away everything he has and spanking, sentences and nothing even phases him. I just domt know what to do. Some days i just give up and let him watch tv in his room becaise i am constantly gettimg onto him when he is in the living room with me.It is affecting his father and mine relationship. I have looked into natural alternatives to add medications and im very tempted to try. I would also like to get him to see a child psychiatrist. This kid has been through alot. I see so many factors that could have made him this way, too many to list. I domt want to hate this child but i do. I need help! For my sake and for this kid.
You need to stop doing so
You need to stop doing so much for this child- ultimately he is DH's responsibility. He should be the one arranging medical appointments and liaising with BM. All the things you see in this child that trouble you were not caused by you, therefore you cannot fix them. Try to step away and get DH to step up and take some responsibility for his son.
You are absolutely right but
You are absolutely right but here's my situation his dad works third shift. & i do not work because we have a 1yr old that i wanted to stay at home with for as long as i can. So i feel like i have to do everything. I literally do everything. Not even an hour again I told kid not to be tapping on the door getting our dogs all riled up because the baby was sleep so he quits & not even 2 mins after he does it again. I ask him didnt I just tell you not to do that...He says yeah thrn I ask then why did you do it again? Extremely long pause...I ask again about 5 times then he says I don't know the answer. Ughhhhh
I understand your situation-
I understand your situation- but it will be very hard with a little one and this troubled child too. I know I couldn't do it and still think DH is asking a lot of you. I think I would try to find a job and put the baby in daycare, as I'm not sure your own child is getting the attention you probably want to give them. But I hope you find some resolution to this situation soon.
I honestly think that has
I honestly think that has alot to do with it. His mom has had several men in and out of his life. Im sure its hard & confusing. Her new man has 3 other kids & i think they have the older ones watching him when he is at her house. Also he was used to be the baby if the family & now he is not. His dad working night shift doesnt help because by the time he is up and we eat dinner & get showered its time for kid to go to bed.but he still needs to listen to me since I am the one caring for him most of the time but i have a boundaries too because i am the step parent. If i ground him & then he goes to his moms he isn't grounded. So i am the mean ole step mom. His bm & my dh dont communicate because he doesnt want to upset her in fear of paying child support. It's all screwed up.
He's still small...there's
He's still small...there's hope
If DH has joint custody he
If DH has joint custody he can and should have him evaluated.
Maybe let him wear shorts on a cold day sometime. We did that with my GD and she learned her lesson.
He's old enough to pack his own lunch. If he doesn't pack a proper lunch, he goes hungry. Only keep items in the house that he is allowed to eat, if he takes only cookies, stop buying them.
I would love to have him
I would love to have him evaluated without his bm but she has him on her insurance so idk how I could do that without her knowing. Thus kid wouldwear shorts all year round if i let him. He never gets cold probably because he is never still and so hyper.
Of course she should know.
Of course she should know. She's the mom. DH can and should have him evaluated anyway. Because he's the dad.
She is totally against it.
She is totally against it. She doesn't think he is or needs meds. She thinks he's just a boy and boys will be boys. But most boys in his class are good and dont get in trouble like he does.
An evaluation is not a
An evaluation is not a medical "procedure" here, it is just an evaluation. In the county we live in, parents can have their children evaluated for whatever if they have joint custody. Once the evaluation is complete, the choice to medicate, do surgery, or whatever has to be agreed. But if the doctor recommends something, that carries weight, and if the parents don't agree, one parent can use the doctor's advice as leverage to get what the child needs.
Hold on..... I had the same
Hold on.....
I had the same issue with my bio, I would beg and threat but he wore shorts... eventually my Dad told me, stop nagging the poor child, he will dress warm when he's cold and if he leaves the house and complains later I'm cold, simply say tough luck kiddo, we told you to dress warm, now you will have to wait till we get home... never cut your even short to accommodate a boy with no ears
It only happened once, since then if I tell my kid, hey you will get cold ... he dashed off to his room and grab sweat pants to take with and a jacket..
not every one gets cold at the same time, some people's body temperature are simply higher then others
If you have dad's
If you have dad's support:
"well I'm not your mommy, so in this house, you need to do as I say."