Does a signed agreement outside of court for visitation count?
Does a signed order that both parents agree upon count for visitation if it is outside court?
Are there any repercussions if BM does not follow it.
Reason:
Right now BM agreed to let DH have SD9 every other Saturday from 8-5.
Then after 3 months we will go to EO Saturday-Sunday, then after two more months EOW.(SD has problems being away from her mom, coming over is a nightmare for her. Panic attack full on fits its horrible)
We are trying to slowly go into this visitation thing (we had it down fine a few years ago until BM decided to bring a new man to replace DH then BM refused to let DH see her. And SH didnt put up much fight because the visits became hell. Hours of screaming crying, hitting, throwing herself in the floor, threating to say we did things).
Right now the agreement DH and BM has decided on is great, but we want to see if it has any grounds if she all the sudden decides to stop it.
It does where I live, as long
It does where I live, as long as both parents have agreed to it.
No legal repercussions as far as I know, though.
If she decides to stop following the signed agreement, all you need to do is tell her that if she refuses to follow it amicably, that you will take your signed copy and file with the courts....at which time she will be FORCED to follow it.
Then if you need, to, file it.
Then repercussions become real.
Thank you I am going to look
Thank you I am going to look into the laws more in our state.
Right now I think having a court order of EOW to start off with would be awful for SD and us sadly. IF she will stick with this plan it would be great!
It does not provide you any
It does not provide you any legal standing if either party refuses to follow it. HOWEVER you can present it to the court and they should consider it in their decision of how to handle visitation in a custody order.
For example SO and BM in our case have an argument documented through the lawyers but that wouldn't stop either of them from taking off with the kid. However it would look very bad on them and weaken their case and agreements. If BM ran tomorrow SO could use that as grounds to become the custodial parent since she violated their agreement and displayed unwillingness to support his interactions with the children as a custodial parent is responsible to do.
File for a modification to
File for a modification to visitation and have it entered in the CO. As long as BM is being agreeable and not fighting the change it should be able to be done fairly easily without cost of lawyers.
The current CO now on file at the courthouse stands until a new/modified CO takes it place, is signed off and court approved.
What is the visitation in the original order? I assume it is EOWE which is now the wanted final goal to achieve over the next five months? Since Dad let the CO go without enforcing and now the 'off record' visitation (no overnights or whatever) has become the long standing norm. Something BM can argue to keep in place if she decides to snub the new non-official agreement or takes it to court.
I think when ever he had to
I think when ever he had to go to court for CS visitation was never brought up. Back then things were fine he didn't seem to think it was needed.
My question is why is the
My question is why is the child having a panic attack?
To answer your question, it is wise to have a Judge sign off on a court order. DH and his ex can scrap the cash together splitting that cost, modify the current order to reflect this new outline. Expect to go before the Judge, on record and he/she will ask both parents IF IF IF they are agreeing to everything. Don't forget to add in modification mom has even years for taxes and dad odd years.
Also add, pick UP and drop times and locations and that both parents are responsible for any and all activities THEY sign the child up for.
POOF...done.
Good luck----good idea to keep lawyers out of this mix. Glad mom and dad are working this out together. Hope it sticks.
Panic attacks are BM
Panic attacks are BM fault.
SD9 has separation issues. BM feeds into them. Long story short SD things BM will die or something if she leaves her side.
You definitely need an
You definitely need an attorney then when faced with a desperate, irrational BM
Sounds like bm should seek
Sounds like bm should seek mental health assistance.
Does sd9 have separation issues going to school? OR are sd9 problems only going to your house.
We are not sure, we know SD
We are not sure, we know SD does not have friends (so no over night visits with them to compare to). BM acts like its only our house, but we can't figure it out. BM does feed into it and enjoys getting the call can we bring SD back she is having an attack. Her normal response it oh sure she can't live without me
It sounds like SD needs
It sounds like SD needs counseling. It's worth a try to attempt to ease her back into visiting dad, but if that doesn't work I'd be taking her for counseling ASAP. Would BM agree to allow it?
BM said a few weeks ago yes
BM said a few weeks ago yes she would put her in counseling, but now she seems to think no need for it.
SOOOO, we literally have a
SOOOO, we literally have a paper BM WROTE AND signed AND had DH sign when she ditched the girls signing over full custody while she "got back on her feet." Talked to the lawyer, legally it's not binding, we can't go after her if she suddenly decides she wants to bring the girls to the druggie, cat infested home... Because legally she has every right to. BUT, this type of thing CAN be used in court to modify the actual order. Because it shows intent for it, and a BM can't argue "well I was being nice by giving him more time" because the second she starts giving up time, it can be used in court to get it permanently modified that way.
IMHO it counts only if one or
IMHO it counts only if one or the other of the parents don't renege.
I suggest that you give it to your attorney and have it signed by a Judge. Then it has stroke and you can apply major consequences if BM fails to comply.