DH is fuming at BM's latest curve ball
A few months back DH and BM agreed that there needed to be some changes done to their custody agreement, primarily clarifications on grey areas that historically have caused some conflict. It became even more important when BM decided to move 45 minutes away (through DC metro traffic, this drive easily exceeds 1 hour each way).
The original agreement grants DH his days off which rotate between Saturday/Sunday and Sunday/Monday. This never allows BM a full weekend to herself with the girls, and will create substantial commuting for the girls to and from school on Mondays.
DH proposed a 2/1 weekend split. He will get the girls for 2 weekends in a row on Friday night through Monday morning. BM would get the 3rd weekend. This actually results in the same exact custody split they currently have (approx. 45/55%).
BM countered with, “You can just have every Friday and Saturday. It will be easier to have the girls home Sunday evening before school”. So that’s what he had drawn up .. 3 months ago.
BM has been dragging her feet and throwing this agreement in DH’s face at every turn; usually when she’s not getting what she wants. She indicated this morning that she will be seeking every other weekend visitation for DH during school years. Her lawyer (who recently left her old firm to start out on her own) finally confirmed that she would have BM’s proposed changes to us today.
I fully expected her to try to limit DH’s time as much as possible .. but she’s crazy to think he’ll reduce his time to almost half of what he currently has. The real kicker is the way she decided to tell DH. She sent an email this morning saying she was taking the girls out of state on vacation the weekend of Oct 4. He replied telling her that was his weekend as he’s off work that Saturday/Sunday, and that he is not allowing the girls to go on his time. She replied to that saying, “Once we get this change order done you will have every other weekend visitation and this weekend will fall on my time. I wasn't asking permission, I was informing you of the travel arrangement”.
Needless to say, DH is fuming mad and terrified all at the same time. He hasn’t and won’t respond again; but it’s driving him up the wall. I just hate this part of it 
I would reply with "Under the
I would reply with "Under the current court order, this vacation falls on my visitation time and I am not agreeing with this request. If a change order is approved, we can revisit this request at that time."
This cements his not agreeing with her taking the girls on his time. BM can't see into the future and tell if her demands will be granted or not. She counting her chickens before they're hatched.
agreed.
agreed.
That is almost exactly what
That is almost exactly what he said in reply .. after cooling his jets for a few
I can't imagine every
I can't imagine every weekend....every weekend!!!!!! I value my weekends there is no way I would even consider every Friday, Saturday, crazo has tried that crap for years.
Hell would freeze over first...
Sorry I caught up in my own issues
I agree with amber3902, then file on her if she doesn't let you have the girls on the agreed time. We had to do that twice. The judge go sick of her and sent her to parenting classes and told her he didn't want to see her again over withholding the kids.
We actually don't mind having
We actually don't mind having them on the weekends. It gives us time to do what we want and not have to work around school schedules. If DH and I need a break, we hire a babysitter or send the girls on a sleepover at my sister's house. The girls are usually approaching bedtime before we go out on our "dates" so DH isn't really missing any quality time with them.
They currently have joint
They currently have joint custody. Their custody time works out to be about a 45/55% split over the course of the year.
The only substantial change that's occurred is her decision to move 45 miles away. Because of that, they approached the subject of switching DH's days from his days off (rotating schedule which includes school days) to Friday/Saturday nights. Again, this schedule was her OFFER .. not DH's request.
He replied to tell her that until a change order was agreed upon, the current schedule did not grant her these days and he was not approving her request to take them on vacation during his time. He won't reply anymore .. it's in the lawyer's hands for now.
In all reality, there should be some sort of finalized change order in place LONG before this Oct 4 weekend comes up anyway. This is just another one of her stunts to get DH worked up.
She jsut emailed DH again.
She jsut emailed DH again. Per the CO, skids return to BM one week before school starts to adjust to their new routine.
She emailed saying she will be picking the girls up from day care Aug 16 (Fri) to commence the scheduling change.
School starts Aug 26 .. one week prior to that is Aug 19. DH replied and told her as much, and her response was this:
"Fine what ever this is so not worth arguing with you over. Just proves once again that the girls welfare and what would benefit them the most is not more important to you then battling with me over a less then 2 day difference that could make their lives a little easier.
Fine, please have the girls home by 6 pm Monday the 19th. I am working that day is or possible for you to bring them to my home?"
Kinda funny how she starts with an insult and ends asking for a favor
What a @#$%*!
What a @#$%*!
It's pretty typical BM ..
It's pretty typical BM .. when DH doesn't bend to every demand from her, it's clearly because he is not concerned with their best interest or welfare (*insert eyeroll here*)
Let's just ignore the fact that the only reason ANY of this is even an issue is because SHE chose to move over 45 miles away ..
I just wrote about this on
I just wrote about this on another's blog. We had the same problem last year. visitation was supposed to end 3 days prior to school starting. BM was supposed to start her visitation the 4th day prior to visitation at 5pm and she wanted to keep the kids all through the "day 3" and drop them off late at night,...
Because there was "no time" in the CO, BM threw the CO in my SO's face saying "technically" I'm not disobeying any CO....
***eyeroll***
Needless to say a time had to be added,...
It's because of stupid crap like this that bedtimes and scheduled phone calls and other piddly crap has to be in a CO,...
My SO and BM could not agree when they were married,... now that they are divorced???? God help us all!