She's a guest in your home, she can't dictate what other guests you allow in your home during that time.

If she needs a quiet area to work, then maybe she could go to the local library or some other location to do her work during that time.

Your home, your rules. If she's so bent out of shape about it then she can go stay in any extended stay hotel for the several months until her house is ready. What a spoiled, rotten, entitled princess.

As long as DH has your back and isn't trying to please the princess then I'd be happy. Not sure what getting involved would help at this point but just make drama.

Wow that's pretty entitled. She is trying to pull the "I am more important". Nope. Time for you to make crafts with the grandkids, paper plate shakers. They are noisy and will keep the grand kids busy for hours }:)

Wowsa! Are you sure that it's YOUR house she's staying at? Sounds like she's taking over! I'd calmly explain that, while you welcome her in YOUR home, your grandchildren are equally welcome. If she expects that to be a problem she should rent office space in the area while they will be visiting because they WILL be visiting!

The SD and her family have the option to find other arrangements for the time they planned to stay with you and her father. You were kind to offer and very generous and welcoming. Whatever her problem is is just that, her problem.

No, you will not cancel out the other family's visit. She can get as ungratefully angry as she pleases and take her troop elsewhere or she can behave herself and suck it up.

It seems to me the SD and her family are likely saving a good chunk staying with Dad and you, eating your food and having you babysit...she can take all that money she is saving and pay to send all the kids to daycare part time days. She can also go into the private office and pretend no children are in the home. What she can not do if tell you who and when others may be in your home. Nope.

What she has requested is out of line considering she, herself and her family are infringing on your hospitality. One more word out of her and she'd be informed the office offer has been cancelled as so has the Dad and SM Hotel and that you hope she and her DH and kids will be quite happy at wherever else place they now plan to stay at.

I have kids, I have a SS, I have grandkids and a SGS, I would hesitate an instant to remind any one of the kids this is my house, my home and each and every one of them are welcome, but if they think they are going to start telling me how things will and/or should be in my home, well, don't bother coming. We'll miss you, and sorry it didn't work out. *shrugs*

It sounds like your decision regarding your grandkids is set and I do not blame you. Actually you should not waver as it is important to you. Your dh may approach you about changing plans I would urge you remain firm as you will not enjoy your visit with sd as you will feel some resentment for not having your other grandkids there. You have stated your position, time for sd to be treated like an adult and let her make her own decision as to whether to stay with you or not. Since she is a capable adult she could find a short term furnished rental. Or an extended stay, however space for working will be tight and still be ruled by kids, her kids. She needs to decide whether the extra money for her family to have their dwelling is no big deal or having few extra kids is worth the money saved. Either way you are being generous to share your home to her family of four for such a long period. She is trying to be the princess, pretty soon she will be asking that her family be fed before all others.

Ditto to all other comments, except to add that working from home does not have to be working from YOUR home. If the space you offer doesn’t meet her needs she could go to a coffee shop, or see if there is a telework suite or office space somewhere nearby she can rent, or find a neighbor or friend with a quiet space during the day.

Quick question though- why is she able to work with her kids in the house, but unable to do so with your grandkids?

Month-to-month apartment or extended stay hotel may be great alternatives for SD. Heck, even the local library will provide her with quiet internet time. Perhaps you can take 10 minutes and research a few of those options to offer to DH since SD is uncertain of her ability to work in your home.

Yes, that smacks a bit of passive-aggressiveness, just remember that company --- like dead fish --- begins to stink after 3 days. Even beloved family would be stressful after the first week, but add into the mix someone who has specific requirements for where she can stay and who else can be there? What's next? What food must be purchased ... TV channels watched ... scented plug-ins used ... Oy.

This is her drama, her upset, her problem and you do not need to get upset because she has decided to make new demands. (It's like training a horse: it's okay if they get upset while they are trying to figure things out, but you stay certain and calm.)

Let DH handle the situation. Provide him with alternatives if possible to keep the stress level down. Keep your commitment with the other side of the family's g-kids. You are acting graciously and kindly, hold onto that thought.

When I went to visit my parents last time I ended up having to sit through lunch with an ex boyfriend, the kids he had with the woman he left me for and his second wife. Let me tell you how incredibly awkward that was for me and him. I sucked up, chatted with his kids, wife and stepkids and pretended he wasn't there. However, I would never ever ever be so rude as to tell my parents they couldn't invite him to lunch and I would die before I acted like a spoiled princess and snubbed the kids and wife (who were all really nice).

Your SD is a real piece of work to demand that grandbabies be uninvited. That's unimaginable.

Does SD have a history of being a princess?

The reason I ask is that some jobs require more concentration than others, and it's possible she is slightly introverted and would feel overwhelmed by the chaos of all those people being noisy in the house while she's trying to work. Extroverts frequently have a very hard time understanding this. It's possible she doesn't see the necessity or fun of having all those other people in the house for that long a time while there are already so many people there. She may not necessarily be acting like a princess. It depends on her history.

It is your home and I'm sure you wouldn't like giving up any time with your precious grandbabies, but I wouldn't necessarily assume the worst about SD's intentions. As an engineer I work at home sometimes and can't have noise all around while I'm working, even though I have a home office with a door that closes. I'm probably a bit of an aspie. And working at the library isn't the same, hauling all that stuff there and hauling it all back, finding an outlet for my laptop, access to snacks and bathroom breaks, general comfort, etc, and even the library can be noisy. A hotel room offers no solitude/escape from other people and their noise.

DH and I and two of my kids took a trip to visit my dad for Thanksgiving last year at his large house, but we stayed in a hotel. Just visiting a few hours a day that weekend with my 3 siblings and their spouses and all the nieces and nephews made me swear I'd never leave home again, geesh, utter pandemonium. And they are nice people, everyone gets along.

I would absolutely not worry about her being upset, it's your home. She will be a guest there and has no right to tell you that you should cancel your grandkids' visit. Really, I can't believe the nerve of her.

If she is going to cause this much stress and upset (and be so demanding), perhaps her and her family should find other arrangements for their transition period. So ungrateful.

Don't make SD's problem YOURS. She is being rude to EVEN ask. I agree with others that say she is "passive aggressive", "flexing her muscles", & throwing down the "I am MORE important" card.

Your SD is using the EXCUSE that she has to "work from home" to try and keep your grandchildren away. That says it all to me. Her actions would tell me that she is a) ungrateful, entitled, C) does not give a crap about my happiness & therefore SELF CENTERED.

I personally would want to rethink the whole offer and kindly tell dh that maybe it would be better for sd to find a place to rent for the few months instead of staying with you. If not, I see a melt down in the near future and although you have been generous, you will be painted the evil sm that did not kiss the butts of her & the royal family

Your house your rules, if she does not like it she can find alternative accommodation.

Oh and make it very very clear to DH, you need a time line about the couple of months.. to me a couple = 2... to SD it might mean 5 years..

do not worry about your grand kids visiting Hon, they are always welcome, start worrying with boundaries with this entitled little spoiled princess trying to tell you what to do in your house, get some boundaries in place, she needs to understand she's a guest, will clean after her family and will have no say in who's allowed in your house and who not... also a dead line when she and her broot has to be gone

Definitely get firm on the timeline. Two months only then they find other arrangements if house not ready. If they are buying or building there can be all sorts of delays. Don't let that become your problem.

And heck no she can not tell you to delay your grandkids annual visit. She can go pound sand. Be very firm about this. Tell your DH to shut that nonsense down right now and don't talk to you about it any further as it is stressing you out.
And do not research alternative work space options for her. She is an adult with a job. She can do that on her own. She will not consider any suggestions you make. So don't waste your time.

Be sure also that everyone is clear on household responsibilities while they are 'visiting'. SD and her husband are responsible for the care, feeding, and clean up for their kids and selves. Messes are not to be left in the kitchen or common areas at all. If you wish to do activities with her kids while she is working then fine. Otherwise she hires a local babysitter to help her out.
Do not alter your normal routine to wait on her hand and foot. They do all their own laundry, towels, linens. They do their own food and snack shopping as well. Adding a family of four to your food bill is not a reasonable option. Perhaps you and DH will do Sunday dinners on you. The rest she needs to cook and shop on her own.
Do not make it a four star all inclusive resort...or they will never leave.
Also make it clear that you do not have room for them to bring a lot of stuff, only clothes and bare minimum items. You do not have room to store possessions. If the kids require a tv for video watching or playing they should bring a small one you can set up in the guest room or play area. They will not be taking over your family tv room.
If they have pets...they need to board the pets at kennel. You do not have room. And their pets would not know your grandkids and may be frightened or aggressive in new place.

Go ahead and book your weekly counseling or massage appointments now. You will need an outlet for stress and detox. All of us here at Steptalk will of course be on standby.

You are the woman of this house. Be clear and firm. Anything besides that will cause lasting resentment towards SD and your own husband for putting you in a stressful situation.
Look up the links on disengagement. And above all...do not be the maid and unpaid nanny for the SD.

What's SD going to do w/her own children when she's working from *home,* YOUR home? I'd just reiterate that she's got an office and she can shut the door anytime she whines about the situation. You and DH are being more than accomodating to SD and her family. She should just be grateful and make it work.

How dare she call your DH to see if your gkids could skip the visit.she doesn't even acknowledge them as your gkids and thinks her daddy can stop you from having your regular planned visit with them.that would be a deal breaker for me. Tell her to find somewhere more suitable to her liking to stay for a "couple" of months. What a bossy bitch.

Guests don't dictate what you do in your home and who you have visit. If she has problem with it... she can leave.

You have went above and beyond by providing them a place to live, with a private office.

Just stay on the same page with your DH and thank goodness he is with you on this. I would not say a word to her and just ignore her whines. Make sure you continue to communicate with your DH.

I would NEVER change my plans for her and make sure your DH understands the boundaries and house rules. If your SD doesn't like it, she can find her own place to live.

Do not have words with her, let your DH handle it; but on your grounds.

Keep us posted.

I am with Sammigirl, she can always go to Starbucks, she is staying in YOUR home, she plays by YOUR rules.....or stays elsewhere, which might be better, given this entitled attitude. I work really well at Starbucks, if needed.

Hard to believe people feel this entitled in a home, they do not own personally. She plays by your rules inside your home and needs to be reminded of that for at least two months...LOL.

some guests have an enormous amount of guts to throw their weight around and they are not even family.

eating all the food, complaining about everything and other things.