Emergency hearing
BM just messaged saying she won't have a job in two weeks, is getting evicted by labor day and can't afford to pay for the school they agreed to split 50/50 in the judgement papers. She also said she won't be bringing him to school on her days since she can't pay. He is 5 so as far as I'm aware he is legally required to be in school its not about whether she wants to take him or not anymore. My question is is this something we could get an emergency hearing for? My SS eill not have a place to stay when he is with her in about two weeks, does that constitute an Emergency? I'm not advocating taking her child away I just think with her proven inability to compromise on important life decisions for her son and losing her job for the 4th time in less than 2 years and getting evicted for the 2nd time in a year my SO should have legal custody w/ split physical if she can provide proof of residency or just visitation at this point if she cant. Does anyone think a judge would hear it as an emergency or is it not worth trying? Btw she told us all this this morning on his first day of kindergarten when she is already a month behind on her half of his school payments.
If this was a one time issue,
If this was a one time issue, I would be liable to let my DH and her work something out between them without involving court.
However, if she is proving to repeatedly not be able to abide by the court ordered terms, then by all means I would go to court to make the necessary adjustments.
Certainly at a minimum, If I were your DH, I would want to know what the arrangements would be for my child during visitation after the eviction.
No, she never allows for help
No, she never allows for help unless forced. Last time she stayed at hotels/motels and lied about it. I just feel like at the point 4 places plus hotels later in less than 2 years its really affecting him and he should be with someone stable full time. And DH has been stable.
BM not having a job and
BM not having a job and living in a motels and friends living rooms with skids was half the reason my DH received full custody.
dh's permanent custody order
dh's permanent custody order puts it this way - "The Court finds, based upon the agreement of the parties, that there is a substantial change in circumstances materially affecting the welfare of the minor children as to custody, visitation and child support."
in other words, dumb@$$ was a jobless, homeless couch-surfer with no stable prospects in sight. the first thing OP's dh can do is go file for temporary custody (which can also suspend child support). then he and bm can sort it out. in our jurisdiction, the court is less likely to go for a full-on concrete change in custody without doing a temp first.
in our case, dumb@$$' boyfriend called and told us to come get the kids. we also offered and gave her a ride to her friend's house for temporary shelter. five years later, she is still not stable. the temp order was in place for 7 months before a permanent one went into effect.
My DH's temp order only
My DH's temp order only lasted a month and he was granted custody.
lol awesome. we had the
lol awesome. we had the little issue of finding her first to get her served - that took several attempts over a couple of months... (poor process server!) then came to an agreement, then she changed her mind and they had to reschedule court. theeeen it was agreed but she wouldn't go back to sign the final draft for another few weeks. (she was fighting for 50% custody of kaos, and no child support - she sooo did not get her way, and she was pizzzzzed.)
it was quite alright with us, the more time went on, the more precedent it was setting that they were stable right where they were at!
They served BM's to her
They served BM's to her mother. BM and GBM sat and wrote a letter several pages long begging DH's attorney not to take the skids away because they were all they had. BM didn't show up for the hearing. It was the 3rd hearing regarding the kids, 1st for custody, that she had failed to appear for in a year. DH's attorney told the judge that BM had warrants and wasn't expected to appear. The judge rescheduled and requested proof of service to BM. The next day the attorney received the letter by mail. The judge granted sole custody to DH and said that if BM wanted visits she should would have to petition and show up.
My DH's temporary order is in
My DH's temporary order is in place "until such time as the Court modifies it."
5 plus years and holding
Maybe if the kid went to
Maybe if the kid went to public kindergarten rather than some expensive school she could afford housing. The judge will not care that she has dropped him from a private school. The court *may* care about the eviction but as long as the child is sheltered and has running water it may be sufficient. A mother I knew lived in a KOA temporarily to satisfy this requirement.
It could work out for you but it could also backfire. Maybe more support will be ordered since BM is no longer making the income she was. If you drag her to court over this DH could be order to pay her lawyer/costs since she can't.
She just texted this morning
She just texted this morning saying we should try to keep him in private until November, she will help as much as she can financially. ( as much as she can aka not half of tuiton) and will try to something by November. At this point it is an unstable situation! He has to be in school, and we literally do not have time to waste going back and forth with maybe today we'll do this but tomorrow we'll do something else. Both schools he can go to have already started and he's been behind in the learning curve already. We literally cannot afford to keep him in that school without her helping with half. And since she went to the school administrator bwfore us, they already have hime down for his two week notice. This impossible to live by and unacceptable for a parent to do again. ( this is basically what she did last year at the same time)She is completely unreliable with no stable thoughts for anything except this second of her life.
And she was only paying 200/
And she was only paying 200/ month for a couple months late she hasn't been paying for his school since last month and wasn't at all last year yet she's the on who wanted him to stay in it so her housing issue is not on us our his tuiton.
"I just think with her proven
"I just think with her proven inability to compromise on important life decisions for her son and losing her job for the 4th time in less than 2 years and getting evicted for the 2nd time in a year my SO should have legal custody w/ split physical if she can provide proof of residency or just visitation at this point if she cant."
This statement says Dad wants full 100% legal decision custody, but the reasoning doesn't give path. Having a stable job , a home, yeah needed to have physical custody and be able to support the child. But you say you have no problem with split 50/50 physical custody.
Being low on cash, not having a job or a reliable residence does not necessarily reflect that BM is incapable of making medical, educational and religious mutual decisions about the child. Using the words 'fails to compromise' does not equate to your BF being the better and more appropriate sole legal decision maker.
This kid can be in public school kindergarten. If financial circumstances have changed in the last couple years since the parenting plan agreement was drawn up, it can be reviewed and relooked at. I'm not sure I'm seeing a participant of negotiating compromise coming forth on your BF's end. Insisting on a private school and being able to pay 100% on Dad's own does not mean an emergency hearing will be given and won. A kid out sleeping 50% of the time on a street corner might, but that is physical residential custody, not pure legal custody. Being awarded physical custody , even in an emergency situation does not mean BM would lose 50/50 decision legal custody.
If BM and BF now have 50/50 joint physical and legal custody, you'll have to find a better argument than BM has no job, BM won't agree with me and BM may end up couch surfing with relatives and friends to wrestle legal decisions away.
Shes now trying to force him
Shes now trying to force him staying in private even though she can't pay.
Which we cannot afford
Which we cannot afford
It sounds like neither
It sounds like neither parents can afford the private school tuition. If you're taking BM to court over that you'll look very petty. Do like the rest of us peasants do and send him to FREE public kindergarten, he can be enrolled anytime, tomorrow even if school has started in his district.
You said he's behind in his learning curb, it's just kindergarten. I've subbed for K teachers and most of the day is spent running around. They learn colors, numbers, letters and learn how to stand in line. If he doesn't seem to be learning then maybe he should be screened for a learning disability, dyslexia, glasses, etc..
I would say to save your money unless BM starts living out of her car or under a bridge. You said you can't afford the tuition for private kindergarten so how do you expect to win a legal battle that will cost thousands?
What do you not understand we
What do you not understand we want piblic. She is one who wants private but can't pay. Stop throwing around FREE like I'm stupid. I am frustrated that every other day she says something different and he the one getting pushed and pulled around and has no continuity. Please don't attack me I have done nothing wrong.
Believe me, I'm not trying to
Believe me, I'm not trying to attack you and I appoligize if it came off that way. From my very limited perspective of the situation it seems easier if DH just stops paying for private K, since both parents can't afford it and especially if that's what he wants anyway.
About continuity, there will always be changes in a childs life, especially a child of divorce. He's 5, and going to a new school and moving to a new place could be seen as a fun adventure as long as his parents frame it that way.
Now BM says she will figure
Now BM says she will figure out how to pay. She doesn't want to even look at public. Or that they should just worry about their own days. It's just when she can't afford it in a day or two or a week or month we can't pick up the slack. It's now just a huge uneccesary fight caused by her because she can't control her life at the moment but still wants to control everything. It just breaks my heart for SS. That's all. I know I should let go and step back it'll get sorted out one way or another. No point in going to court yet. The whole thing has been constant for the past two days and taking a toll on me and all of us.