If she is having her grandchild just once every few weeks for the weekend (one or two nights), is that so terrible? Would once a month or once every six weeks work better for whatever it is that annoys you about it?

I have my grandkids. Not as much now that they are teens and playing sports and friend activities, but they still stay occasionally when one parent or the other is not going to be home all weekend.

Is your wife cancelling plans last minute to take the little kid? Is kid misbehaved while there? Or do you just believe a grandmother should never have her grandkids because ______________ (fill-in blanket, why)?

I'm not seeing the issue here, your wife watches the kid approx 1x a month. Are you annoyed that the parents are going out 3x a month and not parenting during that time? I personally think it's great when couples have a weekly date and get to be a lovers again for the night rather than mommy and daddy.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but this is quite common. My brother often palms his children off on my mother so they can go out. The same is true of my husbands sister. She actually ships them off to the coast to be looked after so her and her husband can have adults only holidays. When it's in school term MIL flies to my province to look after them.

I see it a lot in my social circles as well. I don't understand it, nor do I do it. Even if I had a good relationship with the grandparents concerned or my parents were not batpoop insane, I wouldn't do it. I however am in the minority in this day and age.

SD and her sugar daddy goes out 3 week-ends a month..... gran has to look after the baby,

I would be pissed off yes....this means you and your wife only have 1 week-end to do fun stuff, are you doing any fun stuff with her or are the 2 off you simply staying at home?

You will not win this if you simply stay at home, why not start planing things for your off week-end, a go away, a romantic dinner.... come on you can think of something to enjoy some quality wife time....

with time simply change Gran's visitation to EOWE.. but you will have to keep her busy the other times

Watching a baby every few weeks isn't a big deal neither is going out 3 times a month. What's the issue?

I think he is worried it may get worse. Think about it. . . You marry this older woman, planning to spend couple time with her. Then, every other weekend, let's say, the wee-one comes over and for the entire weekend it is, "Oh, snoogly, woogly, my little sweetums. Grandma is here for you, my babykins. Oh, another dirty diaper. Let's go change it."

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that, but I think RykerXL deserves some consideration for the sudden, unexpected change in this picture. Having said that. I think this is one of those situations that you need to put time aside for making some kind of adjustment, and I do think hubby has the right to put some boundaries around it, because he is kind'a right--it could get worse. What if it turns into every weekend, for instance?

I'm sure your wife is caught up in the excitement of being a grandma, which I get too. Maybe you and her can work together on what would be a reasonable amount of time. And, she should never take the GKs for more than a weekend without your permission too. If you both agree to keep it at every other weekend or once a month, etc. Then you will have to find something else to keep you occupied during those weekends, and you can still do things with your wife and grandchild.

Being a SP or SGP is an adjustment, that is for sure. You never know what could be around the corner. But, your spouse does need to recognize that you have a right to your space and home, just like she has a right to her grandchild. Best of luck to you.