I met my DP 9 years ago. He had (has) 3 kids, I had 1. He saw his kids a third of the time.

Soon after I moved in 7 years ago, his middle daughter moved in with us full time.

She spent every waking moment (and I mean every waking moment, including waiting outside the bathroom door when he went for a pee. They were both 14 years old) with my son, I tried to coax her away from him, tried to do things with her, tried to talk to my DP about it but he would say nothing was wrong. She then stopped hanging around him and started following us around. I had lost the 1 to 1 with my son, now it was time to lose the 1 to 1 with my DP.

I nearly left many times. My DP relationship with my son, whilst not awful, was not what I would have liked and I spent 24/7 with his daughter and a third with his other children. They are good kids but ultimately not very independent and all of them just want to be with us even now they are young adults with boyfriends. They only spend time with the boyfriends when we go out or they bring them to our house when we are there.

I gave up my opportunity to have more children with my DP who didn't want any more and I have effectively brought up his daughter and part time his other kids. I completely under-estimated how much of a demand that would be. His two eldest kids have both been treated for depression, both regularly tell me how much better things are at Mum's house, but don't seem to want to be there with Mum. I have tried so hard to bond with them, but we are different people and I have never been someone who just wants to hang around other people all day. I have always wanted to be making my own life.

Middle daughter is now at uni but is not settling well and regularly tells me she just can't wait for uni to finish so she can go back to her school (she wants to work there).

My son is at uni and settled and happy there.

I hung on to staying because I knew that daughter was off to uni and I would get a break but she is home every weekend and her holidays are just over half the year.

I feel my home life is completely dictated to me. I can't choose who I shop and cook for (never know who will stop by), who is staying in my home (will the boyfriend be staying over?) and who I spend my free time with. The only control I have is to leave the house, and even then, she will ask to come with me.

I am an introvert and a quiet person who needs alone time (without DP, DS or DSD or anyone else) and yet I am denied this.

I am resentful that DSD Mum gets lots of time to herself (she also doesn't work) and I am working and spending my precious free time listening to how great Mum is!

I am full of regret for waiting and waiting for it to get better. It hasn't.

DP doesn't want to upset his kids and thinks I should just accept it, but I am simply not built that way and I also know he would never accept the same from my son.