I found out yesterday SD16 nor SD15 will be coming back to our house this coming week (Sun-Sun), after the escalade and issue with reprimanding her for having a party at our house. I believe it is going to boil down she hates me and does not want to be around me.

MIL lives right next to us and she and I have had issues since the get go, should have been the major red flag to RUN, but I didn’t listen, assumed love could conquer all, I was dumb. SD16 is MIL’s pride and joy, and I am wondering if I should prepare DH for this and talk to him, when MIL finds out that SD16 will not be coming over anymore, mainly because of me. I am not sure how I feel about all this anymore.

I think I have disengaged so much over the past 3 years (excessive drama started the month we got married and beyond with BM, SD16 and MIL), that I no longer care to be a part of this life anymore. I cannot see, even reading many of these posts, why do people stick it out.

I met DH in 2010, got a new higher paying job in 2012 which when I look back was a terrible idea. My job is so demeaning, I work for the government, everyone that calls yells at me, and my boss is a jerk, the three other people I work with are never happy. My once happy demeanor in 2010, slowly shot down and beginning in 2013 was devastatedly horrible, I have a horrible attitude! Between work, SDkids, my own teenage daughter and trying to help my mom and dad, I am surrounded by drama and prissiness, never ending thankless tasks I complete. I realize other people do have it so much worse than I do, but I can’t seem to move on. My mom asked me the other day if I love my DH, I said, geez I don’t even know anymore, I mean what really is love?? TERRIBLE of me…

SD15 text DH last night and told him that we spoil my daughter who is with us 24/7 with gifts, ect. He said to her that he loves her and she has to realize that whatever my daughter gets, her dad pays for half, it isn’t us paying (makes me wish I had separate accounts from the beginning, but I was dumb, thought love could conquer all). SD16 text him and told him to bring her money she received for her income tax return, return I did that she never thanked me for. She didn’t even know she got money back, I could have kept it! Then SD16 ended her text message to DH, Please and Thank You!.... I hate the phrase “Please and Thank You”, it seems to dishonest, you are not pleased and you are not thankful.

After last Friday, DH and I talked about “our house”, his kids not being there (he said SD16 obviously knows it isn’t her house being she left), he has been extremely happy. Told me last night that he hasn’t been this happy in a long time. I was shocked.

I am definitely an over thinker and it gets me in trouble, but I am do damn tired of drama and it just seems to get worse as the years go by!