As if this year couldn't get any worse....
So EXH lost his job. Now before some of you go jumping down my throat, my DH committed suicide on Jan 4th. EXH and I get along great. I have full custody, we co-parent beautifully, he pays me child support, and DH was covering health care to help out EXH with high premiums...and EXH took on the kids as of February 1st. EXH lost his job yesterday. He's freaking out. He's saying things like for every 10K you want, you have to wait a month before you can find a job and now I'm freaking out and worried about being able to keep my house, and EXH being able to keep his. I always figured even if I put my house up for sale, EXH would still have residency, so the kids wouldn't have to change schools. I woke up this morning and cried, and cried (after I got the kids off to school). After dropping my daughter off to school, I was really tempted to go where DH killed himself, I don't know why.
Oh Polly - sending you
Oh Polly - sending you virtual bear hugs.... hang in there girl, it will get better...
cry as much as you want to, then wash your face and look the world in the eyes and say - you did not beat me, I'm strong and I will survive,
If possible move in with your parents and rent out your house,
kids adjust they can move
hugs to you. Bad times ALWAYS
hugs to you. Bad times ALWAYS seem to come in bunches. Maybe it is just when it piles on that something you could have coped with OK if it was the only thing becomes the straw that breaks your bakc?
Please know in your heart that life will get better for you. I bet you that by the end of the year, the sun will be shining at least some days for you again.
Cry your eyes out. then cry some more. Then, detach yourself from the situation and figure out how to go forward. Maybe it is selling your house. Maybe it is renting your house. Maybe it is something else. Maybe it is doing nothing and your ex lands a great new job really soon.
In the meantime, hug your kids. They are what will get you through.
{Hugs}Poly --- Remember to
{Hugs}Poly --- Remember to breathe. That's how you've survived the last month. It's just day-by-day.
I thought of you today when I met my exDH when he came to pick-up BS-15. Anotherstep2 makes a good point about joining forces temporarily. There is no romance between the man that I divorced over a decade ago and myself, but there is a generally benevolent feeling layered upon a fairly good co-parenting experience. We do help each other out periodically. For instance, my exDH helped to move my mother in November. So, if some catastrophe happened, I believe that we would work together for BS's sake to find a workable solution.
Cry, grieve, hold a pity-party with balloons if you need to ... you will get through this. You've got a virtual support system here.
You can do this, PolyMom. You
You can do this, PolyMom. You have a friend in your ex and the two of you will find your way through this. If necessary perhaps the kids can get on Medicaid or one of the state's children health programs until Dad and you can take on insurance again.
Don't forget to also think about other assistance programs available and the local food bank. All programs meant to give a hand up to people facing the unexpected and unavoidable emergencies such as your family is temporarily confronted with.
Hugs to you, dear lady.
As far as me getting a job,
As far as me getting a job, I'm self-employed. I'm a state certified music teacher, and have had no luck finding a position since 2009. I have actually applied to over 40 positions since I was laid off back then. I'm too expensive, and teacher union contracts bind my hands. I currently have 45 piano students that I teach. Even a PT daily job does nothing in comparison to what I make teaching. What I am doing is moving forward with a plan DH and I started months ago, which is to hire more certified teachers to work from my home. I have another piano coming, and am installing a new door to block sound between the two rooms, and plan to collect rent in exchange for teaching space. It's actually more lucrative than renting a room in my house for living space, which I'm also open to doing. My state has an incredible option for kids' health care, so we're just going to attack one thing at a time. I actually was pushing XH to marry his fiancee NOW so she can pick up the kids, as DH had been covering their health care for years
But I will get on that tomorrow. I have a few hours to get house chores done, and relax. I finished dealing with estate issues today. So, I'm taking a break.
I think how it goes is when
I think how it goes is when any job opens up, there are probably hundreds of qualified candidates, and the ones graduating from college actually get first dibs. I was replaced by someone who had only graduated with her BA 3 months before starting the job. I have my master's. Which makes me even more expensive. I'm also in NY, so different states may be different rules. My family is here, my ex lives close by. Leaving the state could be a necessity, but I'm going to explore every other option first.