Kids and 2nd wife problems
I still call up and see my two kids 19 and 16 from my first marriage, i have a new child now 15 months,every month or two i paid tor my kids to come and stay fri to sun in mine and 2nd wifes house 70 miles away. Takes few hours on bus. Because of row with ex wife my kids recently snubbed new babys christening and my 2nd wife wouldnt let them stay in our house,took me few months and she gave them another chance, we found out my 19 year old daughter kissed my 2nd wifes son and might have had sex with him while we slept. Her son is 20.my kids came down to my new daughters one year birthday party recently, my 2nd wife paid for food for everyone. My kids were nowhere to be seen when my new daughters cake was getting candles blown, think they wandered off.at end of party photos were being taken and my 19 year old daughter refused to have her photo taken with my new daughter. 2nd wifes mum shouted at her. My family said its cos shes shy.my 2nd wife isnt happy and said my 19 year old daughter is on facebook in pics with friends and is seen in pics with my ex wifes new child and her new partner.2nd wife said she found lots of sweet papers stuffed behind sofa after my kids last stayed and she says they just sit on their mobiles all night. My 2nd wife has been good to them when they stayed but feels they have no respect but they arnt cheeky as i wouldnt allow it. Ive asked 2nd wife can they come and stay soon for weekend but she doesnt want them down and said her son who doesnt live with her now and is in a relationship was being contacted recently by texts by my 19 year old daughter. I recently married my 2nd wife and my 2 kids were invited. We paid for and booked them into hotel for the night but my 2nd wife said at wedding my son 16 was videoing on his mobile and laughing. I would like my kids to visit and stay but can see 2nd wife and her mums point. Ive pulled kids on these things and am asking 2nd wife to give them another chance but shes not happy and if they come to stay her mum could start on them, i dont want rows and dont want to walk out on my 2nd wife and 15 month old baby. Recently was my birthday and i got nothing from my kids. I pulled them as i always buy them at birthdays and xmas,they said they had no money but my daugher goes out drinking with friends and my son spends whatever money he gets on sweets. I said to them a 50p or pound card they could have afforded.i can see my 2nd wifes point as when kids stayed at start she was good to them, we took them out for dinner and she gave them money.is 2nd wife right that kids cant stay? I can still visit them in their town but they live with my ex who i dont speak to so i take them to their grans.
Maybe these problems are
Maybe these problems are because you refer to her (and I assume treat her) as your 2nd wife. She is your wife and your ex- is your ex-.
I agree with above poster,
I agree with above poster, she's not your 2nd wife, she's your wife.... could be that you are not English as well...
besides the point, your children are brats and are treating your wife without respect, she's in her full right not to want them in her house, it's not about the sex, nothing wrong with a 19 year old and a 20 year old having sex, you both should've thought about it, these are young horny people and not related... they can have sex, hell they even can get married....
i suggest you talk to your children, either they respect your wife as your wife and partner and they behave when at your home, adhere to the house rules.... if it does not suit them, no need for them to visit then... it's up to them.
You always paid for your children, hos does it feel to be snubbed at your own birthday.... this is what happens if you raise special snow flakes and make children believe they are special because their parents divorced, you created this, you will have to live with this and seeing they are adult children... no one said you have to spoil them with gifts any more
I referred to my wife as 2nd
I referred to my wife as 2nd wife to not confuse anyone, and so they know the kids arnt hers apart from my 15 month old.
I pulled them on their
I pulled them on their behaviour after my young daughters party but they just accused me of always taking my wife and her familys side.
That's a trap. Don't fall
That's a trap. Don't fall into it. You are on the side of courtesy, respect, and proper behavior. You're the parent, it's your job to teach them exactly those things.
That ploy worked on you because you let it. You're in good company, a lot of men fall for it. Just don't fall for it. Stand tall, don't feel guilty, and stand up for what's right.
That silly accusation will sink to the ocean floor with all the other wrecks. Pay it no mind.
BTW, bigfra, I want to commend you for carefully listening to the feedback you've gotten in this thread. Seems like you're trying. Attaboy.
wonder what happened to the
wonder what happened to the poster who's son married his step sister and they had a baby but she was not allowed near them..
I am not certain how much
I am not certain how much longer you will have a "second wife."
I am certain there will be a
I am certain there will be a "third wife" sometime in the future.
Welcome to StepTalk. Now --
Welcome to StepTalk.
Now -- I would not let your older kids in my house. The behavior you describe would have them out the door. And I have no relation to them whatsoever. I'm not saying "If I were your wife I wouldn't let them in." I am saying I, as a perfect stranger, would not want people who behaved this way in my house. I would ask them to leave.
So do not be blaming your wife for any of this. That behavior is not welcome anywhere.
LMAO LadyFace!! I heart you.
LMAO LadyFace!! I heart you.
Is your "second wife" your
Is your "second wife" your former mistress? That would explain a lot of this.
Are you a polygamist and
Are you a polygamist and still married to your 1st wife? If not, please give your CURRENT wife some respect.
1st wife = BM (biomother) of your 16yo and 19yo children, who are the SKIDS (stepkids) of 2nd wife
2nd wife = DW (darling wife) and mother of your 15 month old child
WHY is your DW spending all of this money on the skids?? Why aren't you, their father, paying for them? Please tell your DW to STOP PAYING any amount of money towards the skids. They are not grateful. They are rude and unappreciative.
HOW can WE help you Sir.
HOW can WE help you Sir.
When they cant come to our
When they cant come to our house to stay and see the 15 month old they will start moaning. But i will tell them when they visit they sit on their mobile phones or watch tv most of the night, eating sweets, drinking lemonade and leave things lying about, i cant blame my wife for mot wanting them to stay, but then they will complain that they cant see the 15 month old again. I will tell them they had 2 chances and blew it.im not leaving my wife and 15 month old because of them, they need to learn and grow up.
We live 70 miles away and
We live 70 miles away and dont drive
They are using the baby as an
They are using the baby as an excuse.... thus playing you...
I'm sure you wife will have no problem if they come around and behave and respect her, you can easily tell them, you wanted to see the baby, now hand in those phones and all the electronics, you did not come here to eat and be messy..
In your shoes, I would simply tell my wife, Hon let's try this, they complain about not seeing the baby, I will collect them for an hour, enough time to see and play with the baby and then I will take them back, for this hour no tv, no phones nothing.... and we will not spoil them with snacks etc... Or we can try and put out snacks, if they make a mess you ask them to clean if they are rude to you I will immediately remove them from our home and I will not allow this again. Support your wife and stand with her... not your kids
We live 70 miles away and
We live 70 miles away and dont drive so them coming for an hour is out. They refused to come unless they can stay for two nights. Saying its not worth travelling down. If i let them come down their could be rows between them and my wifes family who are unhappy my daughter refused to get her picture taken with my 15 month old daughter at her birthday party.
I met my kids today in my
I met my kids today in my mums and they asked to see my 15 month old. I told them my wife still annoyed my 19 year old daughter refused to get her picture taken with her and they just moaned that was few monts ago. My 16 year old son said if they cant visit in our house they have a right to see her in my mums or something.i dont want to stop them seeing her but i can see my wifes point as well. Why did my 19 year old daughter refuse to the pic? If she had of agreed to the pic things would be fine.