You are here

OT maybe I can't take a joke?

1StepForward2's picture

Submitted by 1StepForward2 on Fri, 08/12/2016 - 10:17pm

Forums: 
General Discussion

At a dinner party - 4 other couples. Male friend asks DH how long have you been married? DH answers "too long." We are under enormous stress due to house closing on Tuesday and having to out On Monday and I admit I'm on DH's case cause he has so much to do that's he has put off. But to say that in front of a group of people did not feel good to me. I was mortified and think he must really mean it. Am I over-reacting?

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Fri, 08/12/2016 - 11:44pm

DH must have a really small _____ to say something like that in front of other people. Next time respond, "I wish IT were 'too long.'"

CANYOUHELP's picture

Submitted by CANYOUHELP on Sat, 08/13/2016 - 7:58am

Highly inappropriate and embarrassing comment. Joking at your expense-- is not humorous at all.

Time for a talk with husband.

ldvilen's picture

Submitted by ldvilen on Tue, 08/16/2016 - 4:38pm

You and I must’ve lead somewhat parallel lives in the past. I had at least 5-6 proposals that I turned down, and I used to rely heavily on my gentlemen of the evening too for “maintenance.” Luckily, I met my DH! No money or brains, but he was built like an Adonis, and he came with bonus children. Whenever he or stepkiddies act up, you bet he knows how to make up for it. Umm-um. My wish is that all you single-ladies find yourselves someone just as enduring, I mean, endearing. Hope this wasn’t TMI Wink .

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Sat, 08/13/2016 - 11:24am

I would be absolutely offended and offered that I could fix that problem for him.

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Sun, 08/14/2016 - 1:11am

Moving is one of the most stressful times. Be easy on each other. Let it go this time, maybe mention off handedly that you found it a bit of an off color remark but do not put your selves through an ultimately unneeded argument at such a stressful time. If he is in the habit of putting you and your relationship down then I could see taking it as an attack on your marriage but if in general he is positive and supportive of you and the relationship then I would let it go and assign my negative feelings to the stresses of trying to move.

enuf's picture

Submitted by enuf on Sun, 08/14/2016 - 12:56pm

I agree, a lot of stress at the moment, and while I would be offended, it would not be the hill to die on. If he says again, then I would definitely have a reply already thought up to let him know that it was offensive and that you will not tolerate again. Like "yes, you said that already, and guess what I believe you. Maybe we each need a breather from each other." Then smile and talk to someone else.

Is_What_It_Is's picture

Submitted by Is_What_It_Is on Mon, 08/15/2016 - 9:17am

I would have been miffed too. I also would have asked Dh just exactly what he was trying to say - was it just the first thing that popped into his head or does he really have some thoughts that it has been "too long." Either thought can be rectified.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Tue, 08/16/2016 - 3:28pm

I think he was just trying for a joke.

I mean Rodney Dangerfield made a whole act about his relationship, it's not uncommon.

Shoot, a lot of people joked with me about my husband's long absences since he worked out of town for a month at a time. The would tell me that it would probably make our relationship last longer. lol.

You, with your private knowledge of your stressful situation, read more into it than he probably meant.

If my DH had said that, I would have joked right back and say.. "Well, you know we can change that whenever you are ready" and laugh.