ACCUSED OF BEING A MOLESTER.
So It seems life has once again turned an unexpected turn for me. I am in a relationship with my 30 year old girlfriend (I'm 28) she has a 7 year old daughter and her daughter and I have taken pictures together all good and friendly and what not. Her daughter unfortunately has a phone (which I highly suggested against) and she one time texted me about 3 or 4 months ago just silly little things and emojis. Her biological dad has accused me of being a prevert and even maybe being a molester.
This my friends was not an easy thing to handle, because I've been accused of one of the most disgusting things ever. Me & her dad finally had an argument about this. A lot of curse words were thrown out in the air, because....I don't know! I just don't like being accused of such horrible shit! We both finally calmed down and I did see his side and how he would be bothered by that, but I know me and I know what I'm capable of and no where on this planet or any other fucking universe would I touch any child inappropriately. I for one only have one problem with the child and that's that she doesn't read enough and is disrespectful towards adults. After our conversation he said we were "cool" and all this other bullshit.
I have 5 nieces oldest one is 18 and I have 4 nephews and the oldest is 18 as well. These kids love me. I'm the care free uncle who tells them to have fun, but be safe, we crack jokes about each other and they look up to me. They know I would do anything for them. Yet I have this asshole accusing me, a family man of maybe touching his daughter.
Him and my girlfriend don't have the most best or adult relationship, because they argue over petty crap all the time, but it seems now he's taking it to the extreme level. His whole reasoning is that I took a picture of her with me just your normal selfie and that she texted me and he also found screenshots on her phone of her playing the SIMS game and all the shots consisted of the Sims kissing or having "Woohoo" (sex) which to me once I saw them...I was a little weirded out. Then again she's about to be 8 and kids are curious. Either way...that's not my problem. They are the parents not me. Me girlfriend is extremely upset by his allegations and how he thinks someone is sexually abusing his daughter.
Me and my girlfriend talked and I told her I shouldn't be over as much anymore and that this isn't fair to me or even her daughter because the dad can't get his shit together and be a good human being. Instead he is obsessed with my girlfriend and is making her life a living hell.
I'm beyond pissed and worried that he will push his daughter to say something that isn't true. Therfore I will be arrested or charged with something I didn't do. My girlfriend is getting her checked for all that stuff this upcoming week, and of course they won't find anything, because I know her kid and her kid always says when something is wrong. Which I like because not many kids will do that, but then he will probably try to attack my girlfriend from a different angle. It's never ending!
So I'm here wondering what I should do? Have any of you ever gone through this mess? And what is your advice.
I have been accused of being
I have been accused of being a child abuser. But I was never accused before things were filed. It hit me unexpectedly. I was working and got served at my job with court orders for incidents that NEVER happened. Totally horrifying. I could not imagine being accused of being a child molester.
We had to go to court. Her stories were all BS and it was dismissed however my record shows that I was charged (not convicted) for abuse against a minor.
It's not hard to charge anyone for anything. Everything gets documented in the end.
At least you still have a head start on this but it's still really scary and nerve wrecking nonetheless.
I don't have much advice, but I THINK you should hire an attorney ASAP and get legal advice. Also get her daughter into therapy. You need some type of third party who speaks to the child separately and monitors her behavior to confirm that nothing is going on and she's completely normal.
So very sad for everyone involved. Especially you and your girlfriend's kid.
I don't know your backstory -
I don't know your backstory - so I don't know how involved or committed your are to this relationship. If you aren't - end it now. If you want to see this through, you need to quit being around the daughter at all - even with other people present.
Once your girlfriend takes the child to a doctor, they are probably going to report it to the authorities as doctors are mandated reporters. The first person the authorities are going to look at is you. A child can be sexually abused and show no physical trauma. You need a lawyer.
THIS. If the mother is only
THIS.
If the mother is only getting the girl checked just to prove nothing ever happened, she's doing harm to her own child. I say this from experience as a child who had to see a doctor at a very young age to be checked out very thoroughly. It was very traumatic.
I've also been wrongly accused of child abuse, and even with the case workers telling me at the beginning that the case will be closed, it was ongoing and very stressful. And even though the case eventually closed, yes, there is still a record saying there was a case at one point. I know the processes are to encourage people to report without repercussion to save the children who really are abused, but it makes the lives hell for those of us who have done nothing wrong and still have to go through the whole nonsense because of procedure. I can only imagine it's that much worse to be accused of sexual abuse.
At 28 years old, really, just walk away. This woman would need to be 100% on your side and you would need to be head over heels in love to even remotely consider keeping this relationship.
Sir I highly encourage you to
Sir I highly encourage you to end this relationship IF you do not walk away today the likelihood of your name and life being drug thru the mud, drug thru court, any money you may have in the bank OR assets will be used to clear your name AND possibility of loosing your job and respect of family, friends and community is almost certain.
Any reasonable person would know everything about this relationship is a total disaster.
No head of over heals in love is worth one day wasted of your life over this. IT is serious and the system takes child abuse very VERY seriously. Allegations placed on a man are viewed far worse then a women. You will not walk away from this with out emotional damage, false accusations and being bankrupt trying to clear yourself.. PLEASE be very cautious of sexual relations and take control of Yourself in this area. I might go as far as to insist on a pregnancy blood test right NOW too. Oh boy this could end up very bad.
Leave, don't look back. Your situation is not the one to hop on your horse thinking OH but I am in LOVEEEEE.
JMO of course.