hello, this is a complicated story,during the first two years my relationship with my partner was hell. I moved in with my partner (55), into the family home previously occupied by his wife. The wife left to become a 'free spirit' and had a child with the man she had been having an affair with.the children were 17,19 and 23 and they were mostly cut off by their mother, so the father raised them. i was 34 and met him at dance class, and i was happy, dressed well, had my own flat, was working and taking a degree at the time.i was making plans and hoped to start a family soon. my partner knew i wanted a family and had a vasectomy reversal years later to help. Anyway in the begining he told me that having a relationship with me, whilst raising his kids was difficult, so i moved in after only a couple of months. His 23 year son returned with his wife 34 weeks after i moved in. my partner didnt tell me they were coming. She made no effort to talk to me.And his son walked out of a room when i walked in. It was very difficult. He subsidized his son and girlfriend for 6 months untill they returned to america. I felt alone even during the @honeymoon' period of our relationship. It was decided that I should not have my family around because it upset the kids.They (my family) felt shut out, and i have become estranged from them. When i first moved in i was told how to cook, clean etc according to his 'rules', he was also obsessed with the gym and eating healthy. i conformed. i lost sight of myself more and more and became what many others describe as just an empty caretaker and dressed the way he wanted and ended relationships with others he didnt like. I became depressed.the children and girlfriend kept returning, and i still managed the household.I became depressed and told him i couldnt take another return from his son and girlfriend, he ignored me and even when i suspeneded college through mental illnness, he never accepted putting me in that position was wrong.

i told my partner that it was like he had a list his children came top of the list his childrens girlfriend came next and i was at the bottom.All the children were give 'inheritances' of under 100 thousand each from the divorce(set up by both parents)and the daughter spent hers on drugs,she was very manipulative and began relationships with two men, she used one of them in america to get access to america.then he found out she was pregnant with another man (after she went to try to live with him) he found out through a text message that she didnt love him and ended it with her, she only cared that she was not going to america. this all happened during a trip to america for the sons wedding.I talked to this guy, and realised just how much she had hurt him, and realised how far my partner would go to protect her despite her amorality, my partner was more angered by my taking up smoking again than how upset i became over all the talk about abortion(it was slung across dinner tables as ordinairy conversation and by the way i had had one). Anyway she had the baby with the other guy and lived with him and everyone supported her(as Did I) my partner was made to feel more protective of her because she was now a young mum.She was back to being centre stage The children had been told by the ex that i was a gold digger (even though she cleaned him out and left him in debt) and that the house was theirs'.The ex wife tried to live in the property while we were on holiday. We tried to start again in our own place but the trust between me and him were in tatters. When we finally moved out(my partner and i)it was a relief.A

Anyway his daughter is now the problem again. Growing up i noticed she often plays people off each other (her friends)and bullies girls (women). On the surface she is superficially friendly and kind, and youd beliebve she is the victim of others but underneath she is more deciectfull like her vicious mother. I have come to realise lately that she is a emotional manipulator and men are an easier target for her. Everyone gets used and hurt (they are slowly starting to realise). Due to the fathers sense that I was asking him to choose between him and his children, i remained compliant a long time and because of the stress while he was raising his own children i never raised the possibility of our infertitlity. By the time he noticed i had mostly given up trying (or hoping). I am now 40, fat depressed (finished college) but unable to work. During the period of her relationship with her partner she claimed he was lazy etc, didnt have a good enough job etc, was not catering to her needs for attention. She dumped him went on the social(she believes she has always been owed this), and hooked up with a guy a week later for sex while we were on holiday. she paid no attention to her daughter. And tried to dictate what kind of food we should all eat. I noticed her aggression towards her daughter. while there in the swimming pool she made it clear that she wanted her daughter to frolic with my partner, and he should ignore me. He could see what she was doing and spent time with us equally.

That was the turning point for me, i said no to a small request.
And that for me started the avalanche.
She met a new guy and decided to be into everything hes into. That included activism, stealing, and neglecting and abusing her daughter. she refused acces to the father and attacked him regularly on the grounds that he did not respect her new life style. she cut off her family one by one. she was taken to court and the judge told her she had two hours to get rid of her new boyfiend (from the house) or she would be arrested. The social services convinced her to contact her family to get support system for ivy. She phoned up out of the blue and said 'i need to come to yours and sort out my custody arrangement'.worthy

I spoke to my partner and said no. Both my partner and I did not want to give her an alibi. We knew she was untrustworthy. I then later called her to make amends and everyone came around as an intervention.
a lot of things got said. She said if her daughter gets scarred (through her decision to not give her 2 year old medicine)then it does not matter. Looks are irrelavant. At which point i lost my temper, she says her daughter is an extension of her own spiritual being (pure narcissism). I told her i was not going to accept everything she had to say about this. So she bellowed back I AM THE DOMINANT FEMALE IVY IS MY CHILD SHE Is HERE TO SEE HER FAMILY (implying I am not).She spent the rest of the time giving us her spiel about her journey and how we are to treat ivy (ignoring any of our own caring instincts)I marked her card about this and the brother and my partner backed me up. But I could see then how things stood with her.She blames me for saying no. she blames her mother for calling social services. She does not take any responsibility. I am expected to help her and support her but I dont like her and can see she does not like me.