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Is this just a girl thing or a brain washed step child action

blueeyes6's picture

Hello everyone. Long time reader, first time poster. A little background on me. I am married and have DS14, SD12, DS11, and SD10. I have 2 brothers, 3 nephews, and the 2 DS. In other words, I have been surrounded by boys my entire life so needless to say when I met my DH and we started blending our children I was and still am completely clueless about girls. My 2 SD's BM is one of those people who is medicated 24/7 for any number of illnesses that she has made up. She likewise has convinced my SD's that something is wrong with them at any given time. I am used to being around people that unless you're bleeding or unconscious you're fine so all of the "illnesses" and "injuries" these girls claim to experience drives me insane. We went to a state park with my 2 DS and only SD12 because SD10 was "sick". We spent the day, swimming, hiking, paddle boating, etc. My SD12 then spent the night with MIL. Later that evening DS14 came to me and said that SD12 was posting pictures on social media of herself with her ankle bandaged up saying how much pain her ankle was in. This is the same girl that a few hours earlier was going off diving boards and paddling boats. NOTHING WAS WRONG WITH HER!!! So my question is this...is this just a girl attention thing or a taught characteristic by a hypochondriac attention seeking BM?

a better life's picture

many teen Girls can be a bit dramatic for attention to start with and then yes she is likely taking it to a further degree based on what she has seen from bm.

blueeyes6's picture

I told my DH that he needed to sit both of them down and talk to them about this situation because when you have a 12 year old child questioning me what the bumpy thing on their back is and I have to explain to them that it's their spine and not some horrible thing that is occurring to them I see it as a problem.....

syleegirl's picture

Some sisters and brothers can be very impressionable on their siblings and my guess is that the one that went with you had a great time but when she returned home and saw her sister 'sick', she felt guilty and so tried to make it look like while she went swimming, she had an injury to make her 'sick' sister feel better.
My hubby's ex is the same: woe is her and when one of my 3 steps has a sniffle, they all have to stay home from school. When the kids are here with us, they go to school even if they have stomach aches, pains etc. If you throw up, you get to stay home, that's it. My hubby will bring them to school and she will go pick them up when she finds out one doesn't want to go to school.
It is only the kids that will lose out in life, as they do not have the maturity to understand the importance of school and having to go. Clearly neither does their mother but that's their problem then.

GoingWicked's picture

Maybe a girl thing? My SD is a hypochondriac, loves the idea of being sick or injured, ever since she was a young child. Her dolls were constantly getting into terrible accidents needing bandages, surgeries, and crutches, it was pretty funny. She lies to her friends about surgeries that happened to her. She has ploys to get us to take her to the doctor when she's "sick". And OMG the eye doctor to check her eyes at least twice a year, (she doesn't know that I know that the school checks her eyes every year, and she has no problems), nor does she know that we know that eyes are unlikely to go out of focus beyond 11 or 12 or so. Her mom is the only one that falls for it and absolutely nothing is ever wrong with her eyes, she just wants glasses-- and she has "fashion" glasses we bought her that she will wear all day long sometimes. If she complains about feeling sick, usually when another family member truly is sick, we usually just tell her if she's not feeling good, she needs to lay down in her room (which she hates to do), so we know if she really isn't feeling good, she's in her room sleeping during the day... which happens about 1/100 times she complains, for as sick as she would like to be, I think she, unfortunately, has been blessed with the hardiest immune system of all of us. A month or two ago, SD went to school with a bandage she created at home around her wrist. Tried to threaten DH that the school would make him take her to the doctor. DH called BS, and told her if it hurts to just go to the school nurse. She never did. DH and I ignored it, and laughed a little behind her back, surprisingly she made it through the whole day without taking it off in embarrassment. Though it came off as soon as she got home, and nothing was said about it again, so she may have gotten teased, but her pride got in the way of actually taking it off in front of the teaser. Who knows. If she was allowed access to social media, she probably would have posted it too.

Thumper's picture

Raised girls AND boys.

Girls tend to be more dramatic, they just do. BUT if it keeps happening over and over again there might be something behind 'we are what we've lived' which is not gender specific.

Could be her way to seek attention IF that is what BM does. What is her pay off when she does this? 'ohh, nooo...are you ok? What happened, awww you have an Ouchy, can I get you something'......FB is a huge way to get that response.

JMO of course gosh

Newstep's picture

Girls are more dramatic, but I raised two and they hated being sick. I get with SO and SD was 8 or 9 and was "sick" all the time. Or "allergic" to everything when it suited her. She was highly allergic to milk, but could eat cheese, chocolate, ice cream you name it. The only thing she was "allergic" to was actual milk ***eyroll*** SO was buying special milk (can't remember the name of it) because of her allergy. All school paperwork had to have big bold letter of her allergies and lo and behold when they wouldn't allow her to get chocolate milk at the cafeteria all hell broke loose. So the kid was never allergic to anything she just liked her parents fawning all over her :sick: :sick:

Then she couldn't eat with taking a Gaviscon it's some OTC antacid type of medication. She refused to eat unless she had one of those pills, one day I threw them out and she was beside herself. Well she ended up eating because she was hungry and she was just fine. But to this day she is constantly wanting SO to take her ibuprofen or Midol to school. He never does but she texts him constantly. She is 17 now and she has calmed down a bit about things but she is still a major drama queen.

blueeyes6's picture

LOL @ Sally!!!! Smile She didn't have her ankle bandaged when she came back the next day and played just fine with no complaints so I guess this is just something that I will have to get used to... it has gotten worse as the girls have gotten older and the wrapped ankles, finger braces, etc are easily ignored but my DH knows that I absolutely REFUSE to give unnecessary medication to them. SD10 was on an adult acid reflux medication for a while for "stomach aches" The meds weren't even for that!!!! After a few months of that medicine BM stopped her from taking it and switched to everyday Claritin because suddenly BM decided that SD10 had allergies. SD12 wants Benadryl every night because she "doesn't sleep well without it." So I do believe that a lot of this is taught behavior but just wanted other opinions from folks who are more familiar with girls....