How Many Kids?
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Just curious as to what everyone's response is when someone asks how many kids you have? If you have 2 bio children and 2 skids, do you tell people that you have 4 kids or two? I think this whole "bonus child" thing that I keep seeing is silly but that is obviously up to the person as to what they choose to refer to their skid as.
^ all of that except there
^ all of that except there are 5.
If I had a dime for every time someone asked if they were all ours...well yea collectively they are all ours. 2 are mine 3 are his. The entire time we were on vacation last year people asked and I'm sure it'll happen again this year.
We have 4 boys all close in
We have 4 boys all close in age and all people see is all of these boys. I don't think anyone notices they don't look a like. Not that it matters they aren't related hah.
We do a lot of things together and we've never been rude in our responses. I think it's like a " omg that many boys close together?! please tell me you all aren't that crazy with family planning." type reaction. I think the fact that they aren't biologically all of ours is a relief.
DH and I are older. Most
DH and I are older. Most people assume we have been married for decades. When new people ask if we have children I just say no if DH is not there. If he is there I will say that he has one son. All just true facts.
Depends on who's asking and
Depends on who's asking and who's with me. Random strangers that I'll never see again: 2 boys if I'm alone, 4 kids if DH or kiddos are with me. Friends/Collegues: Together we have 4, I have 2 and 2 came with DH.
Thanks everyone for your
Thanks everyone for your input. Like some of you have mentioned, for me, it depends who is asking and if DH is around. I don't feel like I should have to claim his daughter as mine because she isn't. That's his daughter. If Dh is there I will say we have two kids together and he has daughter from his previous marriage. If I'm also I just say I have two kids. It's just hard to know how to handle things sometimes, and if you are doing it the right way.
I usually say that together,
I usually say that together, we have 5.
I have two kids, DH has three
I have two kids, DH has three
I always say I have four
I always say I have four (total # of kids between us). I've been asked many times if I have twins due to DD and SS being same age/same grade and when that comes up I say one of them is biologically mine and one isn't.
I say I have two
I say I have two daughters....occasionally I will say I have two daughters, and a stepdaughter from my husbands first marriage.
She's not my kid, I didn't birth her or adopt her so I have no desire to "claim" her as my own. She isn't. I never felt weird about not saying she was my daughter and appearing like we were one happy family. I like my SD, I care about her as a person but that's it.
I also have a step mother, and I would never tell someone she was my mother, because she isn't my mother. Works for me.
I totally agree with you, I
I totally agree with you, I also have a stepmom and didn't even think about that. While I think she is a wonderful person,I'd never tell anyone that she was my Mom either because I have one, and also like you said she isn't my Mom.
I feel the exact same way about my stepdaughter. I care about her as a person as well, but have no desire to be another mother to her. Just another adult that will look out for her well being, that's it.
My stepmother told people I
My stepmother told people I was her NIECE when I first moved in with her and my dad!! My own mother died when I was 15, so she got stuck with me full time, so to speak, and I was a constant reminder of my mother. She told me this years later, (not that I didn't notice) and "sort of " apologized. This was after my dad died a few years ago. She's much more open to me now that's he's gone and I have become friends with her on different level. I DO understand now that she couldn't love me the same as her own kids and why she couldn't. I DON'T understand how she could of blamed me for existing though.
Knowing what I know now about life, I still give her a lot of credit for not running away. Not only did she inherit me, but my very disturbed mentally ill brother. I actually felt bad for her back then, even though she was the "other woman." It's takes two to tangle though, and my dad was actually secretly married to the two of them at the same time! Talk about a blended family mess, I have a half sister who is the same age as me, as well as two brothers with the SAME FIRST NAME and SAME AGE!! All of us kids have suffered because of what our parents did, especially my full brother, who fell off the deep end and never climbed back. The way his life turned out is one of my greatest sorrows to bear.
Sorry for going off topic, it seems like I'm thinking about things I haven't thought about or talked about for years, because I've pushed them down so far they couldn't see the light of day anymore....and I don't like the power they have held over me for so long....even my own children don't know the half of it....
If I'm by myself, I generally
If I'm by myself, I generally automatically respond 3. I have an adult son from a previous marriage and two young children with my husband.
If I'm with my husband, I will say WE have 2, but then he'll chime in with 4, leaving me looking like a crazy loon. It bothers me, because neither of us "parent" the other persons child. I just grin through gritted teeth and roll with it.
One. It is true. SS-23 is
One. It is true. SS-23 is my only child and the same applies for his mom. We have one. I adopted him when he was 22. His mom and I met and started dating when he was 15mos old and married the week before he turned 2yo.
I always tell people we have
I always tell people we have seven and then I make the distinction that my husband has 2 children and I have 5. I feel that because two of the children are not mine I will not take any credit for giving them life (and because I don't want to, I'm going through a period of time where I can't stand them anyway).
I've never felt bad or weird letting people know that two of the children are not mine not even if the question is asked in front of the children. We could pass off as a biological family, our features are very close to the same, but again, they are not mine.