Mistake
Has anyone here let their skid call them Mom and regretted it, and asked later on asked to be called by their first name or a nickname? There is no particular issue going on, I simply don't want that title, but due to feeling too uncomfortable to say no, I let my skid call me Mom. I would rather be called by my first name or by some sort of nickname. I will always be kind a respectful toward my skid, but I have NO desire to replace her Mom (that she lives with full time) or be some sort of substitute Mom when she visits.
My DH and I have two kids together but even if we didn't, I still wouldn't want to be called Mom by my skid. I know that asking to be called something else would be awkward and probably be a touchy situation, but I feel frustrated with myself that I didn't express my feelings from the beginning. Most people are obviously defensive when it comes to their kids, and my DH would probably want to know why and possibly not be ok with my answer. Just wondering if anyone has had these feelings or been in a similar situation.
tommar, wtf?
tommar, wtf?
Nope, never had my SS want to
Nope, never had my SS want to call me Mom. They never even asked what to call me just called me Classy since day one and they were 11 and 7.
You should have said no in the beginning and asking to change it now is going to cause unnecessary tension in your family.
Ummm excuse me, it has
Ummm excuse me, it has NOTHING to do with any newness wearing off. If you read everything that I wrote, I said I felt this way from the beginning. Try reading and comprehending before you attack someone!!
Thanks everyone for your
Thanks everyone for your input. I will not see skid for a while, and I will only bring this up only if skid for some reason asks again if they can call me Mom. Not really worth it to cause any drama by bringing it up out of the blue.
It was a mistake to let your
It was a mistake to let your SD call you "mom", but you can't change the past.
I'd correct it going forward, but explain it by saying that it probably hurts her mom's feelings for her to be calling you "mom" as well.
My SS calls me mom sometimes.
My SS calls me mom sometimes. I think it's more from wanting to feel like he is a part of the family since he has two little brothers. He doesn't always do it though. The first time he called me mom, he fumbled and then got curious. I told him that he had a mom and he did not have to call me mom to be heard or just because his brothers do. His mother tried to force him to call SF dad and DH by his first name, which he has now learned to do everywhere else but here. DH fumbles sometimes and says "go ask your mom" just because HE calls me mom all the time with the other two. It's definitely interesting in a blended family. I wouldn't cause unnecessary tension for no reason. I don't get along with my stepson at all and when he or DH calls me mom, I cringe, but I answer the question or whatever and move on. We have bigger problems.
I wouldn't say I've ever been
I wouldn't say I've ever been motherly toward her. I've always tried my best to be kind and respectful, just like I do with anyone else. The things I've done for her are the same I'd do for the neighborhood kid down the street or any other child. While I don't love them, I'm going to make sure they are fed, safe, having fun, etc. I would just say basic things you would do for a child in your care. DH takes the lead with everything.