Change in visitation?
I'm a little worried. SS15 and his dad (my SO) had a fight last weekend. Lazy, entitled, pretty much good for nothing SS asked his dad to give him money to buy a car. Dad did the right thing (practically laughed) and said not until he gets better grades (currently he has D's and tells us that he only needs to pass high school...doesn't need to do better) and gets a job. SS of course got mad and is now telling us that he doesn't want to stay with us anymore for his regular visits. We have him about 30% of the time and child support is partially based on the percentage of time we have the kid. He's 15 so it's a little hard to force him to stay with us if he doesn't want to and we are hesitant to try to do that. Should we force him so we keep the right percentage of time? I"m worried because BM is greedy (among other things) and I'm concerned that if he doesn't come to us for his 30% that she will start asking for more money. I don't think she has enough money to take us to court but are we obligated to notify the court if there is a change in visitation like this? If we are still open to having him for the 30% but he is just being a stupid teenager can the court make us pay more? It seems to me that if SS decides to skip his visits that shouldn't mean a fundamental change in visitation/money arrangement but I'm starting to worry that my logic may not be the same logic as the courts. We have an attorney but I wondered if anyone here had a similar situation ever come up or knows some of the legal stuff around this. (I live in the U.S.) Thanks!
We faced a similar situation
We faced a similar situation with SS16- who we had 50/50. He had just gotten a job, was sick of the back and forth during the week and wanted to be at his mom's during the week- who lets him do whatever he wants. Soo.... instead of going through the courts, we told SS he's old enough to make that decision and can talk to his mother about it. She of course got all bucky at first with DH, said he's not old enough to decide that, and we said he is more than welcome at our house, but he'd prefer to stay there. After that, if she had a problem with it, she had to talk to SS about it. And eventually she just shut up and left it alone... If she wanted to go back to court, we'd say we're happy to have him but won't physically force him in the car. Ha! We still pay CS as if we have him 50/50.
Huh, this is giving me
Huh, this is giving me something to think about. Ugh. I worry that we have been approaching this the wrong way and have been too lax with SS15 from the get-go on visitation. Gimlet you are so right...they try to treat dad like an ATM. Thankfully he does not give in (well he was a little more free with money with SD but that was also right after the divorce and he wised up fast) but that doesn't stop them from asking. Hence the ask for the car. I like idea of documentation too....
ALL kids should listen to
ALL kids should listen to their parents until they launch. Period. Dot. Sounds like both parents are failing this kid who thinks he can dictate custody terms, IMHO. He's a young punk that wants to call the shots. Oh, and he sounds entitled.
It is baffling to me why
It is baffling to me why parents coddle this kind of crap from a toxic kid. The kid gets no say in visitation. He visits or BM gets nailed with a contempt motion each and every time he does not arrive on time per the COd visitation schedule. Pretty simple.
She is the CP and it is her responsibility to surrender the kid for the COd visitaiton on schedule and without interferance.
Every time this kid gets stupid, beat his mother's ass in court. And have fun doing it. }:)
DH needs to tell the kid that every time he refuses to come BM is in violation of the Custody/Visitation/Support order and will bear the consequences of not delivering the kid on time to the schedule. See how protective he is of mommy.