Paying ex-wive's bills
Going to try to keep this short and sweet. I am extremely bitter that I am having to work 2 jobs to pay BM's school loans. My DH co-signed on the loans when they were married. She incurred over $60,000.00 in loans to receive an LPN degree- she couldn't pass the RN test (tried 3 times). He co-signed on $20,000.00 worth of the loans. Well she has lost her job for the 4th time in 2 years and is not paying on the loans so we get to. She had defaulted on them and then made arrangements at $400 per month to pay them back. They are holding us to the aggreement or they will garnish. My DH is unable to get a second job because he is on-call 24/7 for his current job. So that leaves me to make up the difference. We are not wealthy people and $400 is a lot to us. Then we get papers in the mail on Friday that she wants her CS modified due to her not having a job anymore. I am at my wits end!!! I'm working 60 hours a week, never see my kids or DH, and I'm freaking tired!!!! I absolutely hate my life and everything about it right now. I love my husband but I didn't sign up for this crap. He never has to deal with anything out of my ex-husband. We barely even communicate and when we do it is civil. I'm not sure what I'm looking for from you guys. I just needed to vent. I really have no one to talk to about this. I'm just sick of hearing "you know I appreciate you for doing this, right?" from DH in that "feel sorry for me" tone. Just pisses me off.
Your name isn't on the loans.
Your name isn't on the loans. Only his and hers. Let him pay them or not. You aren't under obligation to pay. His credit will suffer, but that's just life. Separate finances so your money isn't going to that any more. His responsibility. The unfortunate thing is that the student loans are virtually impossible to get rid of--bankruptcy, etc almost never clears them.
ETA check out this site and see if there is anything he might qualify for that could help
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/student-loans-cancellation-deferm...
I would be filled with so
I would be filled with so much rage if I were you. My kids would never suffer or not see me because of a man and his poor choices.
Right!
Right!
This is good advice.
This is good advice.
That blows, let me ask one
That blows, let me ask one question, does she claim kid on her taxes?
No way. I would rather DH'S
No way. I would rather DH'S credit suffer than have the resentment of paying for BM'S student loans. You should not be sacrificing your time for your family because he made a bad decision. Let him deal with it even if he has to get 2 new jobs. This isn't your problem to solve.
Stop paying his exes debt!
Stop paying his exes debt! Shame on you for sacrificing your children's and your financial future because of your DH's past mistakes.
You are not responsible and your DH needs to figure out another solution. You are not his personal ATM machine.
Does BM have any assets to sell and pay off the loan? If not, DH can look into lowering the monthly repayment amount and leave you out of it.
I am truly at my wit's end. I
I am truly at my wit's end. I don't even want to go on anymore. Last night BM starts texting needing more and more $. Somehow it's our fault she lost her job and can't pay her bills. And if we don't pay her water bill, phone bill, electricity bill, and buy her groceries then we just don't care about SD/BD do we? She (SD) is welcome to come over here (not really, but that's what I said) and take a bath and eat. She won't die without her phone tonight and it's not cold so electricity really isn't an issue either. But bathing and eating can be taken care of. DH looks and me and says- "at least give her some money for food". Seriously?! How about I go over and cook it for her too. Maybe chew it up and spit it in her mouth to save her lazy ass some energy to watch Steve Wilkos tomorrow while she doesn't go look for a job- fired 3 weeks ago, has yet to look for a job anywhere. I'm working 2 jobs to pay this bitch's bills and your're going to tell me to give her more. HELL NO!!!!! So he went and got money from his mom to give her. It was only $40 but it was the principle. I am literall ready to walk. I am ready to take my money and move to my daughter's house until I find my own place. Not saying I will divorce him but I think living on our own and being responsible for our own bills may be a wake up call to him. Let him figure out how he, or mommy, is going to pay this crap. Oh here was the icing on the cake- his mommy bought him an IPad because she knew he was going through a rough time and thought it would cheer him up. Where the hell is my freaking IPad for paying his bills and working 2 jobs? I am enraged!!!
Leave and get at least a
Leave and get at least a legal separation. This guy and his money issues are going to be your downfall. Your health is going to suffer and your children already are.
THEY got themselves in this mess. THEY can get themselves out without help from YOU.
There are way too many women in your marriage. Your guy doesn't seem to realize who his ultimate loyalty should be with. Sounds like he is a mama's boy and enmeshed with his ex. You don't need this crap.
Glad I didn't have to deal
Glad I didn't have to deal with that! My DH's ex wife was too lazy and stupid to go to school to try to better herself. I guess in hindsight, that was a good thing.
Why are YOU paying her bills? You were not married to her. That's DH's gig. He can't get another job because he's on call 24/7 at his current job? Tough titties. He will have to figure it out. Bad choices bring bad consequences. I would've totally FLIPPED A BITCH if I got told I had to pay for anything having to do with BM!!!
Oh hell no. Time to go full
Oh hell no. Time to go full court ape shit on the useless BM's ass. I am not sure if the school loan company can garnish your DH's wages. I would call their bluff and tell them to fuck off and go after BM for it. I would also sue her to see if DH can be relieved as her cosigner so this is all on her. If she is suing for more CS, make sure DH takes records of the $400/mo that is being paid because she is a useless POS who can't service her own debt. He may get lucky and get his CS obligation reduced due to her default. Wouldn' that be nice.
Own her ass and have fun doing it. Don't forget to bare her ass to the Skids too. They need to know that their BM is a waste of flesh and a POS. Kids need these facts so that they can protect themselves from her as they transition to adulthood. She will skin them for money no doubt about it. Idiots like this BM are toxic and will rip anyone off including their own children.
The Sperm Clan repeatedly tried to whine and cry to manipulate SS to beg for my wife to drop the CS requirement against the Sperm Idiot. Nope, never happened. They did manipulate SS into not nailing them for CS after he turned 18. He could have required another 4yrs of CS as a full time college student in good standing with his university. Instead he let them off of the hook against the advise of his mother and I.
Then he learned his lesson. He joined the USAF right out of HS and they immediately sent him to college due to his top 2% ASVAB scores. As soon as he enlisted the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool started whining and crying for him to start sending money to support his three younger also out of wedlock Sperm Idiot spawned half sibs by two more baby mamas. His mom and I did not raise an idiot child. At that point he wrote them all off and as their whining and crying manipulation escalated he asked me to adopt him. He now has our family name and shares nothing with the toothless dipshits in the Sperm Clan.
Play the facts of their mother's shallow and polluted gene pool with the Skids. If possible leave her with the school loans in their entirety and let her wallow in her own useless idiocy.
Most of all ......... Have fun doing it!!!! }:)
Here's the craziest thing. BM
Here's the craziest thing. BM was in jail a few weeks ago. SD was told not to tell her dad so we didn't find out until the school called because she wasn't there and the rumor was BM was in jail. We got to the bottom of it pretty quickly. The whole time she was locked up (5 days) it was like BM was off to war and might not come home. Both SD's (15 and 22) acted like this was a freaking badge of honor. SD (15) told me that they were 3 month behind in their rent so she was going to call the landlord to get an extension. She also called BM's work to work it out with them. When she finally got out they acted like it was the second coming of Christ. I thought they were going to throw a freaking party for this heffer. SD knows everything her mom does and she is still "perfect mommy" in their eyes (she makes them call her "mommy" because she says she's not old enough to be a "mom"- she's 44. And the cherry on the sandae is that SD (15) is getting a job so she can help her mom with the bills because we won't- her words. Well have at it sister- do what you gotta do to make mommy feel good. This is all mind boggling to me. My therapist is going to get an earfull tomorrow night. LOL