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Adult step children ruining my marriage

tfm729's picture

I know this may be just another story here. I just do not know how to deal with this. My marriage of 4 years is dangerously close to splitting up. So close in fact that we actually split for almost a week. To ma. ke a loooonnngggg story short and to give you an idea of what I am dealing with. My husband called my step daughter this morning to let her know that we were working out our issues. She responded by telling him that he was ruining the memories she and her brother have of him and their mom.

Facts:

hubby and thier mom have been divorced for 6 years and I did not meet him until a year after thier speration.

step daughter is 23 engaged, has a 3 year old daughter and has one divorce under her belt already.

What and how to do I keep her from ruining my marriage. She knows her dad loves her and that child and she holds the child over his head and will keep after him so much it wears him down.

Frustrated and do not know what to do..

AVR1962's picture

Your husband should not be sharing anything with his daughter or other siblings about you and your relationship with him. What is between you should be kept between you. What was your husband's response to his daughter when she told him that he was ruining memories of him and her mom? The key to success in a step family, in my opinion, is the bio parents giving their children permission to love the step parent. Does husband's ex accept you? Do the two of you get along? If not, and things are being said, the children will pick up and this and support bio mom. If bio dad is spineless and doesn't want to make waves to hurt his precious, you will pay the price. You are a convenient target for what is wrong between the bio parents, sad to say.

Dunwiththem's picture

Dear tfm, I feel you have come here for support, but have not given enough history. You are in pain. Please elaborate x