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Taking Skids on holiday

lorlors's picture

Submitted by lorlors on Thu, 10/15/2015 - 10:07pm

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General Discussion

Hi everyone,

I am interested to know whether you take your skids on holiday with you? DH provides money to BM to take them on really good holidays (at her insistence) and we have taken them on trips in the past within our state to a beautiful beach house and have another long weekend planned with them in November.

DH and I are planning a holiday to Europe and I would rather not have 2 teenagers in tow. What is the general feeling on this? Do you take the skids on holiday?

MamaBass's picture

Submitted by MamaBass on Thu, 10/15/2015 - 11:17pm

Absolutely not. It would not be a vacation for me if they were along. Once in a great while we plan a trip with all of us (which I have to mentally prepare for far in advance!) but a majority of the time, no skids, no way.

No Name's picture

Submitted by No Name on Fri, 10/16/2015 - 6:05am

We took them on vacation for a week with us one year and that was the last year. It was horrible. I considered renting a car and driving myself home.
Long weekends with them were OK.
Go to Europe as a second honeymoon!
The skids can go to Europe through a school sponsored trip or do study abroad when they are in college.
Go by yourselves and have a relaxing, romantic, wonderful trip!

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Fri, 10/16/2015 - 6:47am

We took exDF's kids on SOME vacations with us.

Regardles of how much he is giving to BM, more than likely he will want to create some vacation experiences with his children. As long as he isn't pushing for them to go on all, then it shouldn't be a problem. If you want the trip to Europe to be kid free, that shouldn't be an issue either.

Last In Line's picture

Submitted by Last In Line on Fri, 10/16/2015 - 8:41am

We have family vacations, and we have couple vacations. Nothing wrong with either one. I wouldn't want to take my skids to Europe either...I'm a get up,get out and see it all person, while the skids are lazy and would cause us to lose a lot of sightseeing time.

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Fri, 10/16/2015 - 8:43am

When Chucky starts to like us again, not hit PPP or attempt to behead children half his size, then I am willing to consider it.

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Fri, 10/16/2015 - 12:22pm

Ditto this.

1) depends on reason for the vacation.
2) I would not consider it if skids were not already good travelers and able to handle their own luggage and read a damn book every now and then - not even including food issues and being jet lagged or getting homesick.
3) are you able to help guide their behavior? Do they accept you as giving guidance/some behavior correction if you see them misbehaving?
4) are you helping pay for their tickets or just helping pay for incidentals?

I've traveled with SDs before, and helped pay depending on the trip purpose - help pay visiting my family but not his. If he initiates a trip, it's on him but I'll help pay incidentals. If it's involving romance at all NO to skids. And I won't travel to Europe with them until food issues are a little better, they handle their own suitcases and they can last longer than 5 days without being "bored" and wanting to go home.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 10/16/2015 - 9:36am

We struggled with my bride’s guilt regarding the Skid not being available for activities and trips with us and my family and my ILs while he was on Sperm Clan visitation. It took us a couple of years to get DW transitioned to enjoy our 7wks of Skid free time per year while he was in Sperm Land without a notably overwhelming amount of guilt on her part. (5wks summer, ~1wk winter, ~1wk spring)

Eventually she learned to enjoy our non-kid time, for the most part, without too much drama.

So from age ~6 until 18 we did not let his absence limit our activities. My tactic for helping her through the transition was to say “if we do something that we think he would enjoy we can do it again later when he is with us.” We did a couple of things as a do-over when he was home. One notable activity we did as a couple and then again as a family was Pittsburgh and Frank Lloyd Wright’s Falling Water and another home he designed not far from Falling Water in E PA or W WV.

So, I say go. Don’t sweat it and do not tolerate DH, BM, or the Skids playing the guilt card that the Skid’s won’t be on the trip with you and DH.

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Fri, 10/16/2015 - 9:42am

I won't even go to the store with my skids, let alone a vacation.

No, no and no. Plan your trip for you and DH.

naturegirl_88's picture

Submitted by naturegirl_88 on Fri, 10/16/2015 - 11:12am

Never. Foot is down. A vacation isn't a vacation unless you leave ALL your stresses back at home! lol,

Snowflake's picture

Submitted by Snowflake on Fri, 10/16/2015 - 11:19am

My thinking is that if you want to have a memorable time with the skids then go camping. Much cheaper and it still creates memories. If you want to have a fun time doing adult things then go without the kids.

My dh and I have bios and we have no family to help watch them, so we have to take our kids on every single trip, but if I had a choice of a kid free vacation then I would take it.

SecondGeneration's picture

Submitted by SecondGeneration on Fri, 10/16/2015 - 11:56am

So far we have only ever gone on holiday without SD. She doesnt have a passport, we have mentioned to BM that we would like to take her abroad but as of yet she hasnt applied for a passport for her and we havent asked because we have no immediate plans or need to include SD on our holidays abroad.

But i imagine when we have an ours baby it will be more complicated, its one thing having a holiday with or without kids, its another to take one and not the other.