SS11 wants to move in!!
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My SS11 is mad at BM so he comes in saying he wants to move in! My husband is happy but here is what is crazy, he drives a truck he is gone all week only comes home on the weekends, we already get Ss every weekend now he told him he can move in but he can only go see his BM every other weekend cause he wants to spend time with Ss! I was wondering how I tell him I don't believe this is a good idea or do I need to just tell him absolutely not( cause this is how I feel)! I just don't know how I feel about raising him for them! Please help!
You need to decide real
You need to decide real quickly if you are going to be the parent through the week or not. Honestly, I wouldn't do it. You open yourself up to a whole world of possible negatives. What if SS suddenly wants to go back to BM and starts accusing you of being abusive? I wouldn't do it. Not on an ongoing basis. No way. I'm not going to parent, take on homework responsibility, discipline, get skid to school, take care the household (which is now 3 instead of 2) except in a rare circumstance (BM in hospital, DH out of town, no grandparent available, I'd do it until someone else was available).
Just Tell your DH how you feel! It isn't your responsibility to raise this child, it's the responsibility of the two people who created him.
he drives a truck he is gone
he drives a truck he is gone all week only comes home on the weekends
This is exactly why your SS cannot live with his father, his father is not home during the week. This is non-negotiable; this is not your kid to raise.
Plus, letting a kid change homes just because he's mad at the parent he lives with is a big no-no, everybody knows that.
I love your answer!!
I love your answer!!
He is usually gone all the
He is usually gone all the time me and our daughter do what we want to all week long!! Then he comes home on the weekend and he tries to be boss(lol)!! He has a bad problem doing things and not asking me first that what happened here I can home from taking our daughter to cheer yesterday, I come in try to relax here Ss comes and says that he is gonna live with us his daddy said yes and said he called BM and she said yes( which could be a lie) then proceeded to tell me he was mad at her because every time she gets mad at him she tells him to go live with his daddy( again came from him don't know how true.)
SS being mad at BM is not a
SS being mad at BM is not a valid reason for a change of custody.
If you agree to this guaranteed that when SS is mad at you or dad he'll want to move back to BM. The kid will become a ping pong ball.
Did DH talk to BM about this? She may not be onboard with the plan.
No way I'd agree to this. There would have to be a compelling reason (SS being mad is not one) for me to agree to this.
I am defiantly sure I don't
I am defiantly sure I don't want to raise him!! Me and my husband have a daughter 6 she takes alot of my time she is in cheer three night a week!! I agree that my husband is disrespecting me he doesn't care what I have to do!! I had tried to be nice and tell him I don't think I can because of our daughters cheer and all he said was what if Ss wants to do stuff at school are you gonna get him there I told him daughter comes 1st to me and he was mad and left the room! I was really just wondering how to tell him no without getting him angry!
Definitely!! Sorry my phone I
Definitely!! Sorry my phone I just put in a couple of letters and it finished it for me and I didn't check what I wrote! Sorry if confusing this was all sprung on me Friday I really don't know where my head is! Just thought someone might have went through something like this and could give me some advice! I guess I shouldn't have asked maybe this isn't the place to ask for advice! I just know how hot tempered he is and that's why I was asking.
Just tell him no! If he gets
Just tell him no! If he gets mad, he gets mad. He will get over it and eventually realize he was wrong to expect this of you. If he gets abusive, then get rid of him!
Thank you!
Thank you!
This almost happened to me
This almost happened to me because the ss11 was having behavior problems and the BM feared the skid would be inappropriate with the youngest sister. We stressed out about it and tried to figure out how would it worked since DH isn't home until 730pm. We made up a list of thoughts and requests for the BM and the topic seemed to disappear. I requested legal guardian status and DH mentioned to her that I (or a babysitter) would be providing most of the child care. I think the fact that she would be losing control of her kid and have to share info with us that she doesn't normally share made her back off. We aren't involved with the school at all due to the BM and DH doesn't want to fight over it. Report cards are now online and BM won't share them with us. I have to say I am thrilled that he didn't move in. I felt that if it was in the best interest of the child that i didn't really have a choice. I agree with what others are saying. You don't even know if the BM agrees and the kid being angry isn't a sufficient reason for custody to change. My older sson is always arguing with his stepdad. I would object to this situation because it really only impacts your life and your ability to care for your daughter. I would definitely tell him that he shouldn't have told the kid he could move in without discussing it with you. I think he probably feels guilty that he doesn't see the kid too often and wants to be seen as the cool/fun parent. Besides the kid can't makes these big changes just because he wants to.
Thank you all!! BM does have
Thank you all!! BM does have a lot of boyfriends and moves a lot! She also has 3 kids by 3 different men. What he is saying is his BM is getting mad cause all he does is sit around the house and does nothing and she gets mad and tells him that he needs to live with his daddy, so he comes over and tells us his BM wants him to live with us, but really she was only mad and I know she doesn't want to lose the money he brings in for her, so on one hand I'm figuring she won't let him, but he is hard to put up, so on the other hand I am like she may let him so she doesn't have to put up with him!
Since DH want to spend time
Since DH want to spend time with ss let ss11 move in to DH's truck cab and homeschool him during the week. No way in hell should ss11 be pawned off on you to parent all week. He already has a mother.
I don't understand these
I don't understand these DHs.... how can their brains not realize that considering you is an important part of the equation?
If this was me, I'd say no to it. It would be a deal-breaker for me.