SD is acting inapporatily with dad

Forums:

This is kind of a crazy topic. I'm not even sure how to approach it but my husband and I are on same page with it.

I have a 15 year old daughter that is attention seeking to the point it's starting to get very inappropriate and my husband is uncomfortable about being around his own daughter.

A little background: His ex wife left him with the kids about a year prior to meeting me. She didn't see or talk to the kids during that except for maybe five times. Well my husband decided to move on with his life and started dating me. When I meet his children now 10 and 15, they was just fine but when I moved in things hit the roof. First his daughter started by cutting herself. We decided together with the mother that it would be best to put her in a mental health unit for help. At that point it was decided that she was going to go live with the grandparents and the ss lives with us. The bad thing about this is she is center there and they wait on her hand and foot. About a month into living with her grandparents, she has a birthday. My husband gets a card and places 50 dollars in it for her bday and gives it to her the day before because he had to work the next day. The next day on her bday he didn't call because he was working. He works long hours like 6am to like 7 pm sometime later.

The next morning we wake up to banging on the door and it's the bio mom and SD. The next thing I know the bio mom is screaming at my husband because he didn't remember her birthday and the daughter cut herself over it. The daughter is screaming at him. It was really absurd. Well the SD was suppose to go on a band trip during the summer and band instructors basically told her she couldn't go because she was displaying harmful behavior. So daughter basically stops talking to her father because she blamed him for the cutting incidents.

We basically didn't hear from then 14 year-old for three months until one day. The bio mother and daughter showed up again this time they was blaming my husband for the SD being sexually active because my husband finds it uncomfortable to have his 14 year old daughter sitting on his lap and hanging allover him inappropriate ways . He made her get up and set on a different piece of furniture from what he was on.

So now the now 15 year-old, wants her dad to hold her hand. She wants to hang all over him trying kiss him all the time. I mean it's to the point. He is uncomfortable taking visitation with her. He backs out of a lot of visit because the behavior is so bad.

Well this weekend he felt bad because he has back out on her so much he decided to take his son and daughter on a small vacation over the weekend just them. Well he calls me tonight telling me his 15 year-old daughter hung allover him today at the water park. He basically told her she needs to stop being so clingy. So they went back to the hotel with the kids his son and daughter. I guess after the daughter took a shower she wrapped up in a towel with nothing under it and ask her dad to do her bra.

I'm just floored . How blazing this girl is? I basically told him to make sure he wasn't with her alone and to keep his son with him at all times from now on he shouldn't take her on overnights without me or another female adult present. I also told him he needs to contact the counselor about the behavior. Do you think I am wrong for telling him to do this? I would appreciate anybody else in site.

Sounds like cutting for this

Sounds like cutting for this kid is a means to control dad. Mom gets upset yells at dad dad caves and the kid gets what she wants.

The kid has her parents trained. I agree with what you told her father and I would take it a step further and re-hospitalized her for predatory sexual behaviors.

I think you may be on to

I think you may be on to something here.

For heaven's sake, don't

For heaven's sake, don't people bother to RAISE their kids any more? From the time my two DD's could understand English, I've been teaching them how to be young ladies. Cross your legs at the ankle if you sit down in a dress, how to handle their period in a sanitary way, etc etc. He needs to call her on her gross behavior every. single. time. she does anything like this. It's a day late and a dollar short, but he needs to start parenting NOW. Unless he wants the cops called on him when she pulls this in public and people think HE's a PERV. I know there's a lot of underlying issues going on, but this needs to be nipped in the bud, like, yesterday.

My 15yo SD snuck into my bed

My 15yo SD snuck into my bed with her father -he was always asleep and would wake up with her in the bed - while I was away overseas. She slept in the same bed as him. I thought it was strange. He didn't think it was that big a deal. EEWWWW. I asked him when he went out with his mates to ask them how many of them bedded down with their teenage daughters. She is always wearing the teeny tiny bikinis too and asking him to put on the sunscreen. He doesn't do it, but why would she want him too. I have been a teenage daughter, I wouldn't do this shit with my own father.

Oh I guess I forgot to add

Oh I guess I forgot to add that her mother encourages this behavior with the father that is where the daughter gets it from. The bio mom told me one-time that she still sat on her sat father's lap and kisses him on the lips. It about puked. They look at it as some form of rejection if my husband doesn't interact with his daughter like that. It's strange..
My poor husband is stuck in it.

Is it possible there may be

Is it possible there may be some sexual abuse going on? Now or in the past? I'm not insinuating your DH! But, maybe Grandpa... are the grandparents she lives with DH's folks or BM's folks, because BM may still be sitting on her Daddy's lap because she may have been a victim as well. (Not that that would in any way excuse this behavior!) But these cycles just keep going.