Missed your previous posts. So, perhaps I should go back and track them down. No blog posts? Just forum posts ?

A few times I've hit the "troll" button for an OP ... lots of bored people out there looking to stir up trouble. Translation: not a real SM/SD or SGM/SGD with real issues. A kid on vacation break, a pissed off BM with a hatchet. Who knows?

I vaguely have memories of a post from you which turned rancid quickly. I stopped reading the thread. I think that your line-item, in-your-face approach to those responses was a bit "off-putting." Could be wrong, but off the top of my head ... Perhaps slate it up to "cultural differences."

Hi Tigerlily,

I don't recall your posts so haven't seen your situation.

This time of year we get a lot of troll posts, this year - the last few months in particular have been crazy with some of the storied people come here and spin us. We have a rep with the cafemom types who think we are all evil, child hating bitches who set out to destroy our angelic and innocent step kids so we can have their naïve fathers all to ourselves... So we get a lot of the coming in and spinning tales of how evil they are to their skids etc, which we sometimes just call out and other times we play a little with them.

There are also factions and cliques on here like anywhere else, so you will often see a poster attacked by the opposing clique - so high school!

And sometimes someone may just be having one of those days where they don't censor themselves or walk away from a post they may disagree with and instead they call out the OP, and then others join in and it all snowballs.

I think that about covers it

Welcome, stick around, ignore the crap and take what you find useful, know that above all else we are all really in the same step-hell and that is what bought us here. Well, not me - I escaped from hell last November, but stick around because I have made some lovely friends here.

x

Luchay

>I mean, do people here really think there are Original Posters who make up stories?<

There are a few who do make up stories. The infamous "Crew" is a good example. She spun a crazy story about her little step-son serial-killer-in-the-making who flushed her wedding ring down the toilet and who kicked her dog down the stairs killing it. It was a horrible tale and a lot of us followed her story with morbid fascination and we all held our collective breaths as she said she was leaving. Some of us even PMed her, encouraging her and pledging our support.

It was all fake. Why did she do it? No one knows for sure, but she did leave a wound on STalk which causes us to reflexively react to original posts with disbelief.

I for one don't think original posters are fake. A lot of posters who come here for the first time are writing from a place of pain, and when you are writing from a place of twisted emotions, the written words are not entirely clear. Since they are not clear, or difficult to follow, many of us react negatively...and you are right, we shouldn't. Many of us have been in that position once.

But this is typical of ANY forum I've encountered. In other forums it's called "The Glass ceiling". A newbie comes in and posts but because he or she is new and has no track record, the automatic reaction of the forum community is to either treat the newbie with disdain, ignore or simply not believe anything they've written. It's a catch-22. How do you establish a track record on the board if no one believes you and how do get people believe you if you haven't got a track record?

I still remember one of my first posts on another forum. The very first comment I received was a "lesson in conformity". In other words, since my post didn't fit the established "mold" that the regular members have established for themselves, I was treated with derision.(IE "Stoopid noobie!")

So this phenomenon is not unique to STalk. It happens everywhere.

If it is any consolation, some parts of my own story - if told to me by another and I was not a SM - I would be a little skeptical about them. It's hard to comprehend some of the crap that we endure unless you have lived it yourself. And my BM isn't even in the top 10 of crappy BMs on this site!!

It's hard being new here. A couple of my original forum posts were met with 'what's the big deal about that' kind of attitude. It hurts when you turn to people you think are in a similar situation with you just to be kicked down.

You will find some folks out here are very blunt to the point of being hurtful. While they may have a point in what they are saying, their delivery is brutal.

The only advice I would offer anyone, new or otherwise, is that if you post something here, don't expect everyone to tell you that you are right. Different points of view will be offered, you will also be told you are flat out wrong. If you post, take it with a grain of salt. You might be validated and you might be told you're off your rocker.

I can't imagine being so bored I'd have time to make up a fake step life. I remember Crew very well. Ain't nobody got time for that!

Oh sure, there are absolutely "false" posts. Sometimes it's a crew (explained above). Other times the poster is lying (embellishing, exaggerating, whatever) for effect or to make herself (or her DH) look better. And sometimes, to be fair, it becomes quite clear that the OP is lying to herself. Hard to be honest with others when you're so invested in making yourself believe the lie. But inconsistencies in the story or between posts makes it obvious to an outsider. I find those hardest to read, honestly, because people who are lying to themselves are REALLY hard to actually help.

Anyway, if you've been called out as "unbelievable" just stick around - once people "get to know you" and you're consistent, that should ease up. If people have called you out for inconsistencies in your posts though, maybe stop and consider if they have a point. If you were reading what you wrote, and you didn't know any backstory, would it seem odd or off to you? If so, either explain if you forgot something, or take a good hard look at why it seems off.

Sure people lie for various reasons.

However, I have seen some absolutely outrageous unbelievable stuff at work. The stuff I have seen could easily sound like lies. People lead crazy lives sometimes