Adult SC and Step-grandchildren
I married my wife 3 years ago her oldest daughter was 18, married and a few short weeks left on her pregnancy. At the wedding it was just my two stepdaughters, the son-in-law and my wife and I. Things were good for all of us, when the grandbaby was born 6 weeks later, it was such a beautiful addition to my new family. Right after they had her, they said they were moving 12 hours away, my wife and I had the ability to move to so we did, when the kids didn't make it, we all moved back to where we started. Then baby number 2 was on the way and things started to go down hill. This little girl I feel in love with was no longer allowed to call me Papa and I was somewhat outcasted by stepdaughter and her husband because he doesn't like me. I have only ever been nice. When the grandson had his first birthday I was told I was not invited, this weekend is the granddaughters birthday and its the same thing.
However, I don't know how much more I can handle. I have been loving, giving, and caring the past few years. My stepdaughter is always threatening her mom that if she has a problem or can't abide then she won't see the grandchildren. I don't want to do anything to hurt her relationship but in some ways I am angry with her relationship. My wife is always telling me I am equal that I am their grandfather but she is okay that I don't see them and I get jealous and hurt when she does which I know is selfish of me. I really don't know how to get a hard-shell with all of this any and all advice is so very welcomed at this point.
I'm in a similar situation
I'm in a similar situation and don't have any answers for you. I've been in my skids' lives since they were 7 and 6. It is my DH AND I who are being shunned for no reason that I know of except their BM is psycho.
I have written them all off as dead even though the poor grands didn't do anything to deserve that. It is the only way I can keep from being continually hurt.
I'm interested in what your
I'm interested in what your replies will be too. I am in a similiar situation. Really pissed at myself for allowing myself to care about the little kiddies when all along I knew their mother, my SD36 was a total evil B&*^%.
I stood up for myself, finally, and set a boundary - no more disrespect and rude behavior. Unfortunately, over here they are a package deal and since the kids are tiny and can't drive, they can't come over without the nasty evil girl SD36 or the Loser son in law.
Who knows why the son in law doesn't like you. Probably jealous of what you have (apparently they are they have nots) but I really think your wife needs not let them control things. Naturally, with their level of immaturity there will be a price to pay for standing her ground. I am guessing your wife would rather let them walk all over her than have a heart to heart sit down talk with her daughter about the situation. My DH backed me up, and actually SD36 S*&^ on him too, and now he is finally mad. She has not apologized to him either, and he picks very few battles but when he does get mad, he won't back down. The grand kiddies will miss out on lots of fun and love and time spent, and eventually the SD36 will understand when the check for $500 just for her at Christmas isn't forthcoming.
Actually went back to therapy to work through this situation it has really really hurt but there is no forgivenss in my soul for the SD36 and I am just plain sad about not seeing the little kids. Eventually I will forget about the grand kiddies. They are not truly my blood, and I should have kept arms length considering what I knew about SD36.
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My wife has been extremely
My wife has been extremely supportive of me but she does love her daughter, and I wouldn't want it any other way. She has told her daughter how she feels but it falls on deaf ears. Her daughter will sometimes say she doesn't agree with her husband but doesn't want to fight with him. Part of me feels like messaging my SD and telling her that I don't like her or give a shit about her, her children, or her life (even though I do) but just tell her before she says and does things think about her mother and what her rudeness is doing and what using her children as weapons is doing to her. No, my wife won't go to the party if I am not invited but she also knows that this point even if I was invited I wouldn't go. Everybody makes excuses for my SD behavior because she is married to a very controlling man but I don't have that same sympathy for her. I think what has made it so hard is I was welcomed for 2 years and I can't just turn those feelings off. I keep telling myself it is like dating a woman with children and then you break up and you are attached to the children and you have to get over it. Only difference for me in this situation is they are still around...