Background here: http://www.steptalk.org/node/211442

Annnnd, I called it. SS did take the job with a small start-up in the food industry. But now it's too hard and too many hours.

DH and I had a nice date planned on Friday, I could tell he was down. When going through the "how was your day" discussion, he mentioned that he spoke with SD (we get along fine) and SS. Instead of me saying "aw, look at the cute cat on that porch" I asked about his kids. No issues with SD, and he said that SS was having a hard time with the job. Not learning my lesson from a few minutes ago ("wow, look at the crazy hat on that lady" might have been nice), I asked if SS had quit. Well, apparently I'm not very supportive for thinking that and he didn't quit EXACTLY. ("Gosh, I didn't realize that shop had closed, DH, didn't you just shop there?" should have been my next comment, but wasn't.)

"Not EXACTLY" means that SS spoke with the owner and said that he is only a year into recovery and the long hours are too hard. The owner's response was, "well, we'll call you if we need you, but in the meantime if you can't work as promised we need to find someone else." DH presumes that SS left and won't be back.

This is a very familiar story. SS is either overworked, under appreciated, something. All of his Best Jobs Ever last maybe two months, then the reality of what a job IS sets in and he's just too fragile. If he is not emotionally equipped to be a grownup, he's not seeking help and if he is physically incapable, no doctor has been consulted even though SS is a hypochondriac.

He is currently living in a halfway recovery house. I hope this setback doesn't derail his sobriety. It is a long, hard road and he seems to be committed to it. I hope so, and I want to support that. My concern now is that DH becomes the ATM machine again. So yesterday DH and I sat down and did a household budget. It is not good. DH is not good with money, so I have planned out expenditures down to the week, and there is nothing left over. (DH's debt includes about $30K in parent loans for SS who never did graduate but spent a couple of years getting high at respectable universities.) DH says he is glad to be contributing to our austerity plan if it gives me some relief and he is glad to be austere with me. He was truly sweet. DH sucks at money, but if he has a plan and parameters, he will follow them. Let's see when we have to start saying no to some of the things we like to do, though.

Now when SS calls and DH says he's giving SS money (this will happen within a week, two max, betcha), I can easily ask where it will come from. ("Show me how you propose to adjust the budget.") And it will not come from my funds or joint funds or his funds that he has committed to our budget.